lying about myself

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Hi, everyone. I have something to tell you all. I have been lying about myself. My entire life was all pretending to be someone I am not proud of. I make friends, based on their interests, from music to TV, from fashion to mainstream trends.

I also lied to my mother about myself, causing tensions between us. My mother was a reality check. She knows that I'm smart, beautiful, and talented, but she wants me to be myself. The one problem is I am not confident nor mature. I don't know how to be myself nor love myself.

I was angry, anxious, jealous, selfish, needy, immature, unconfident, insecure, and frustrated, because I didn't know how to be myself. My dad gave me some self-help exercises to help love myself every day. After doing so, I feel better about myself.

So, how did you feel when you pretend to be someone you are not? If you feel that way, what would you do to love yourself and accept yourself in a honest way?

Any comments?

Hi. I want to apologize for everything I said. The truth is I am not proud with being someone else. So, my dad gave me exercises to help me love myself. I just looked into the mirror and said: "I am wonderful person. I am worthy and I am loved. God loves me, my family loves me, I love me." It helped me, and I feel better. Now, here is a advice for you all. If you are feeling down on yourself, just look into mirror and say positive things about yourself, like "I am original", "I am beautiful", or anything. Don't be hard on yourself. Just be positive and accept yourself for who you are.

Thank you.

Thank you for contributing this encouraging thread. I was going to post you some encouragement myself but you already responded to your own post so well. Glad you feel better!

Yes, we are all special and have our own special footprint to leave on the world and just need to find where we fit in by being ourselves and not pretending to be someone we're not. That is needed to be a brilliant actor such as Peter Sellers or Robin Williams but you don't need to keep in that character when off the set!

Writing is a very therapeutic activity and always helps me find perspective when I need it.

I do love writing! Thank you very much.

I've been struggling A LOT with these same issues, so you're definitely not alone. I feel like I've spent half of my life trying desperately to be something I'm not. I lied a lot, but I really believed my own lies. They were more like wishes. I was only diagnosed as an Aspie a couple of years ago, but I'm still responsible for the things I had done and the decisions that I made while utterly lacking self-awareness. I try to avoid making excuses now, but often times that veers into self-hatred -- and that's what got me into this mess in the first place.

It sounds like your dad gave you good advice, I might try to do the mirror thing too. Journaling sounds helpful as well, if only to know that the dark times will eventually pass.

I'm not sure that it's such a bad thing to make friends based on interests, but it probably shouldn't be the main criteria. I sometimes judge others based on personal tastes, and while that's not healthy, it seems more common than a lot of people care to admit. Now I just try not to be so pretentious, at least when I can help it. To some degree, that's just a manifestation of a really low self-esteem and being a little different.

It actually helps to know that I'm not the only one going through this kind of situation, thanks for the post!

You're welcome.

It's true. I was not honest with myself. The one thing I am missing is God. I love God.

Samaria;

You have written previously that Faith and the love of God is a part of your life. Just because you aren't feeling loveable, because you've lied to yourself, doesn't mean you aren't still being loved by God, your family, friends.

I have made a mess of my life and it is only by knowing God does exist and that I matter to Him (He loves us), that I am in any way able to get back on track.

Being aware of your lying is the first step in turning your life back to God.

There was a book written around 02, The Lies We Believe, by Dr Chris Thurman. We all lie to ourselves and believe some things that are lies- like- Life should be fair, or Because I feel it, it must be true.

But as we do live life longer and hopefully learn some things, we can better discern truth. And with faith you can get to know the one who said, I am the truth. John 14:6

My prayers are with you.

Thank you. As long as God is with me, I just need to tell the truth and be honest.