On the subject of death, and my alleged lack of compassion

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Tripolar
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03 Jun 2015, 1:23 am

I have discovered, as I have grown over the years and experienced the death of public figures, that I do not seem to have the capacity to be upset about people I don't know dying. I can acknowledge that death as a concept is bad, and that people dying is sad, but I don't find any emotion over it unless I know the person. When I expressed this recently, I was met with hostility toward my attempt at understanding (I was later informed that my wording and/or timing was inappropriate). Is there something wrong with me? Am I 'damaged goods'?

If you would like to understand my thoughts, the following paragraph is an explanation to the best of my abilities:

The death of a person is without doubt sad. This much, most can agree on. However, that this person provides a public service to the world shouldn't produce a difference. My 'moral compass' tells me that all death is bad, and that the badness level of death should be equal for all people. As such, I do not see a reason to care more about the death of a public figure than the average of ~2 people dying every second. These people were likely to have had friends and family, so the argument that a public figure has people that care about them seems rather unreasonable.

I suspected, for a while, that people pretend to care to seem more compassionate, but that does not feel like a satisfactory explanation.

As a final thought, I would like to express that I anticipate experiencing more emotion for the death of someone closer to me than I experience for the death of people I don't know. I do have some empathy - somewhere.



crescentmoon
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03 Jun 2015, 2:44 am

I feel somewhat the same as you do, so I'm not sure that it is "unnormal" for aspies...



Tripolar
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03 Jun 2015, 8:31 pm

Same thoughts on the matter, or just the same conclusion?


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kraftiekortie
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03 Jun 2015, 8:50 pm

I don't believe it's that "abnormal."

If you grieved over every person who passed away, you'd be grieving forever.

As for public figures: you're not around them day-to-day, so it's inevitable (unless you're a fan) that you won't feel too much, beyond the general concept of "sad when somebody passes away."

This is my take on it.



Sino
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03 Jun 2015, 8:59 pm

Unless such a person has made a personal (if indirect) impact on your life, I imagine it's not so unusual to feel little to nothing at their passage. Perhaps if they were young, and had potential for the future - but then that's speaking hypothetically.