So new and yet so dumb

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I have already managed to annoy people here in my first few posts. It was not my intention, of course. I have done this all of my life. I even get on the nerves of people who are trying to help me out. If I could divorce me from myself I would but I made a promise to my mother on her last day.

I came here hoping to get help in figuring out who I am. I already messed that up. The one place I should be safe, I'm not. I can never let my guard down, even when I try, which I did try.

I was supposed to be smart. I flunked everything except junior college. I came here and tried to relate to someone and was verbally beaten by another user who wanted to point out that I am "less than". I already knew that. I was hoping to forget it for a little bit. I can sometimes see irony and it is here. I am told that I am irony walking. I'm sure that's true.

There are all sorts of folks on this site, and many have communication challenges, and have had negative experiences with people generally. I think WP is accepting of unusual perspectives, but disagreements seem to be part of that tolerance.

I just skimmed through your post history, and I can't see anywhere that you've really annoyed anyone.
You aren't the first person to worry that you've annoyed people. It's important to remember that a lot of people here aren't good with social niceties, and if they disagree with you, they will do so very bluntly. It doesn't mean they dislike you.

With nearly every post, I worry I'm going to offend and upset someone, even though my intentions are good.

We are also a group of people that are known for missing cues, for being blunt to the point of being painful. Just because we are Aspie talking to other Aspies doesn't mean we stop being Aspies. We need to occasionally forgive others and forgive ourselves of real and imagined grievances.

One of my favorite quotes from the fictionalize Katharine Hepburn to the fictionalize Howard Hughes in The Aviator - "There it is, now we both know the sordid truth: I sweat, and you're deaf. Aren't we a fine pair of misfits?"

I adore the fictionalize Katharine Hepburn.

Thanks everybody, I guess I was just being paranoid.

I just get the feeling that I got myself into an ego match so I backed out and was hit with more "I'm better than you" stuff on the way out. I was really trying to explain how I could relate to the OP which is often helpful. I don't try to compare myself to others because I will always lose. I only try to relate and discuss.

I have been bullied in many forms in my life. It makes me a little cautious, maybe overly cautious, or maybe overly sensitive. I get the feeling that I am actually being too sensitive and if that is the case and I need to have a thick skin to be here, then I should not be here.

My cousins who have been diagnosed with Asperger's, do not try to put me down. This person did.

Sorry for third post in a row. I am just making too much out of this. I need to just read the posts and not try to communicate for a while.

After I get a better understanding of how people post here I may open up a little but I should just stay out of things.

I went-through your Post History, and if you're talking about the post I THINK you're talking about----the one where you replied, something like: "Oh, my bad----I'll just move-on"----I don't feel that person was speaking to YOU, personally----I think they were just making a VERY general / BROAD statement, about the THREAD.

More-often-than-not, the very next post after you've posted, is a person responding to the ORIGINAL post. Don't worry about it! I totally understand being sensitive, but try not to be so-much-so, that you stress yourself out, and don't enjoy your time / interactions, here----you'll be fine.....

BTW, I've enjoyed reading your posts----you really seem to think about what you want to say, you really seem to want to / like contributing, AND what you post IS a REAL contribution, IMO!!

Keep your chin, up----and, just try again!

Thank you very much. I'll just be a lot more careful. I may add that person to a list to be ignored. Too bad too because she/he seems so nice to everyone else. It was a snarky remark when I was leaving.

If you're talking about the "Ignore List", in your Profile / UCP / whatever, it doesn't work----and, again, it WASN'T you! That person IS a good person----he just has, maybe, a teeny, tiny, little bit of "short fuse" problem----what one might call hyper, or high-strung----I've seen him go a little nutso (not much), before----so, don't worry!

Thanks. Yeah, I regretted that reply right after I posted it. Thanks for letting my know about the ignore list. I sometimes have a short fuse too. Still working on that.

I've seen a lot of his posts and he seems to be a person who really does care about people. Besides I might not belong anyway because I am still trying to get in to see a doctor about a diagnosis. I'm going to be so embarrassed if it turns out that I'm not on the spectrum with Autism.

No-no----if it turns-out that you're not on the spectrum, you're STILL VERY welcomed here----we have NTs, TOO, ya know!

Something out there in the universe, maybe, drew you here----I'm thinking that means something is to be gained, by you, by your being here!

Kick your shoes off, and set a spell!! LOL (wink)

Don't feel this way
No one would really get annoyed from regular online posts
If people disagree with you it doesn't mean they dislike you, their opinion is only different from yours

Heh yeah that was me, I'm snarky 24/7. I work in tech so the short fuse is something of a professional necessity. I'd be dirt poor without it. I'm high strung lately due to a limited budget for herbs and a constantly mounting workload. Send me homework questions.

It's cool, cberg. I was once in the tech field but never got anywhere with it because as I was getting ready to move up to second level support they finally had the college grads they needed to phase out we who were not. I'm more of a hardware guy but I've had my head in the sand lately so I don't even know what's on the market these days. I never needed to be snarky away from work. It goes against my beliefs, my self discipline.

The post about being unoriginal hit me pretty hard. I was trying to further elaborate on an earlier post. I was also trying to relate using the anecdote that I had. I was also trying to add some humor with the comment about the Vic20 with its 3kRAM expansion pack and cassette tape drive instead of having a hard drive but later it looked more like the old tale of walking uphill 12 miles to get to school. By the time I realized that it was too late to wipe it.

If I am not on the spectrum I may stick around a little but I am not a caregiver for an Aspie. Of my cousins who are Aspie, one is grown and making a living, the other is nine and his mom and dad are raising him, they don't need my help. My friend who is Aspie is also a librarian so she's doing fine and has less triggers there than she could in many other atmospheres.

My fuse has been short lately too since I am under a lot of pressure to find doctors who can actually diagnose Autism and not just doctors who put in their forms that they can work with it. Also with the meds changes for Bipolar and all of my stupid chemical sensitivities, of which, many affect my mood and therefore my reasoning.

I flunked out of everything except junior college. I tried online courses for programming but did poorly there too. I'm a little touchy about not having a marketable skill that I can manage in my capacity. I was an excellent Restaurant manager and loved it except for all of the noise and directly dealing with people for 10 to 16 hours straight, among other things.

Being told I had nothing to add because it was the same as what had been said before was just too much. When I try to help people I open myself up for abuse but I didn't think I would have to worry about that here.

I'll just keep from posting and maybe read some articles until I get settled in in another forum. I found one where I have not yet had this kind of comment aimed at me. We'll see how long that lasts.

Plus I'm a little extra paranoid since I had to report a forum to inline crimes for recommending that caregivers of children with Autism give their children Sodium Chlorite. I tried to work with the administrators about it but little was done. I am a group leader on another of their forums for Meningitis sufferers and survivors. I have lasting effects from the bout with Meningitis I had 41 years ago. The guy pushing this treatment is a chemist in Mexico but the forum is hosted in Virginia so the authorities will at least be able to send them a nasty-gram about pushing such a treatment. I was also a member of their bipolar forums. I stay out of their forums unless I have an end user come in with Meningitis related problems.

I'm antsy to see how that all unfolds.