People here on WP are making me feel horrible about myself

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I'm just about ready to leave this forum. I just got insulted over and over again in this thread, and now I just feel like the worst person ever. I wish I had never started posting on here. I should have just kept isolating myself.

sorry

idk if you want ehugs from me anymore but I'll offer them still.

Hi Quiet_dove,

I think you just had a roll around in PPR, honestly its not the best place to post emotion driven responses, hugs to you.

No need to isolate... Consider avoiding the PPR topics that you feel passionate about, unless you are certain that you will remain more rational than emotional.

There are lots of other sub forums, I quite like the games one.

That thread degenerated into a heated argument, but it wasn't your fault. And I didn't see anyone attacking you.

That's the politics section for you. I avoid it after something similar happened to me. Other places are more friendly, don't go.

Ah, you got into a spat with OOM...bad idea. I try to give her a wide berth after a couple of unpleasant run ins. But don't worry about it...chalk the exchange up to a learning experience.

OOM is really not someone you want against you. Very strong views and very blunt in expression of them. Can be very insightful but I'd be lying if I said she didn't terrify me. Someone you want on your side in an argument and need to drop it as soon as she gets anywhere near having opposing views unless you want a very strong debate. That's what occurs on the politics section and they do not consider emotions in their argument so it can get pretty mean there. It's not a friendly environment to be in and if they see any weakness in your views they can and will exploit them in order to win. Just the nature of the subforum and unless you're prepared and want to be in that kind of environment just don't post there.

However, you will be glad to know that the type of posting there isn't allowed on any other part of the site. The two politics sections are the only parts they let debates like that happen, and the autism politics is slightly tamer. Just keep away from them and you'll be fine and if anyone starts on you because of that post there you can report them. I haven't ever see OOM use past posts against people so you should be fine. Try some other subforums. This one is always nice.

Please don't go, Quiet Dove.

I think you're making good inroads into your self, through being on this Site.

You've proven to yourself that you have something to say (not a bad thing!)

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 02 Jul 2015, 9:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

I try to stay out of PPR.

I resigned from life's Debate Society some time ago, and my life has been much better since then.

Last edited by Marky9 on 02 Jul 2015, 9:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

The PPR forum has an ugly reputation. I was warned about it by our good friend kraftiekortie when I first joined, so I tend to avoid it unless I feel very strongly about an issue - and even then I often don't bother. The nature of the subject matter is just naturally explosive.

So please don't go, quiet_dove. I love reading your posts, they're always sincere, compassionate and intelligent; you'd be a great loss.

As others here have said, just avoid PPR for a while, perhaps post on the other forums or chat to people via pm if that's your thing ... in fact, if you'd like to send me a pm them by all means do so, I'd love to hear from you.

I think you're an intelligent person, Quiet Dove--and, per your screen name, you desire peace.

PPR can be a mindfield--and you shouldn't take what people say really personally. People are there to debate--and tend to use rhetorical devices in their debates. It's more of an ego-driven section than most on WP.

PPR also a microcosm of the "internet world." It should not be mistaken for the "real world."

Well, I hate to say it, but you brought it on yourself, when first you said this to OOM:

"Also, did you even look at either of the links I provided? If not, then why not? Ignoring those links doesn't make the information contained within them untrue, you know."

That came-across to ME, as your seeming to want to bully her into seeing things YOUR way, and when she wasn't havin' it, you persisted. You were telling her she was WRONG----and, that wasn't fair, cuz you were stating YOUR opinion, and she was stating her OPINION. You can't say someone is wrong, for having an opinion----she never said YOU were wrong----you can say, something like, "That's just not the way I see it....."----but, you can't tell someone they're wrong, just because they don't see things, the way you do.

Ironically, several posts later, you attacked HER, by calling her a bully. Don't get me wrong, I've seen OOM be absolutely VILE, to people----but, she must've been holdin'-back, that day, or something, cuz I didn't see her "come-at-you" NEARLY as quickly / fiercely, as I HAVE seen her do so.

The other part of that above quote, ending a statement with "you know" sounds like a child, to me. One time someone did the EXACT SAME THING, to ME, and I've never spoken to them, again----cuz I am just NOT going to put-up with it.

Another reason why I said you brought it on yourself, is because then you continued harping on it, and before OOM had addressed the last thing you said, someone else addressed what you said, and then you started-in, on THEM, asking them why they thought what OOM said, was okay. It seemed as though you were trying to "beat" everyone into submission----submitting to YOUR point-of-view.

THEN, you posted THIS comment to someone:

"Read this article (the entire thing, please), and then tell me whether or not you think "ex-gay" organizations are harmful. And please don't respond back to me until you've read that entire article."

Again, it seems like you're trying to MAKE people do what YOU want them to do----that's what I meant by "beating them into submission", and that it comes-across as bullying. Also, in saying the part that I've underlined, you seem to be saying: "And don't come-back to me with some insanity, because if you had any brains, you'd see things MY way."

PPR is not for the emotional, and / or thin-skinned, or whatever. There are some people there whom I think just, quite basically LOVE to argue. There's a thin line between "argue", and "debate"----and, I don't know where that "line" is----or, at least, I don't know what the "rule" IS, for that line, but I know where it is, for ME, and when I feel someone is trying to argue with me (as in, pick-a-fight) then I just don't respond to them, anymore. Someone, for instance, the other day rolled their eyes at me (posted the icon), and I didn't understand it, because we had always debated so well, together, previously----but, when he did that, I lost a TON of respect for him. It just seemed like he needed to do that to get-in the last word, or whatever, and I just don't have time, for that.

Please understand that I do NOT mean to be putting you down----I don't even know you, really (I don't think we've ever spoken)----I ONLY mean to be giving you a view, from another angle, because that's what people have done for ME, all-of-my-life, and I have been EXTREMELY grateful, for it.

I don't ever like to see people hurt----and I, ESPECIALLY, don't want to hurt someone----so, please only take what I've said as constructive criticism----cuz, that's the way it was meant. I know----I know----nobody likes to be wrong----and, ESPECIALLY, nobody likes having it pointed-out, to them----but then, how do we learn.....

PPR is a debate forum and some people have some very strong views when it comes to politics, philosophy, and religion. I always like to try to keep things civil since its easier to catch flies with honey than vinegar but for some it is hard to separate the emotion out of the argument. Don't take things personally, a lot of my favorite posters in PPR have totally different views than me. If I disagree with someone I try not to let it follow into the next thread with them or even on to the next point in that same thread if possible.

At WrongPlanet.net, it is easier to agree with what others state. Never rise to the bait. Congratulate the angriest of members for their wisdom. Conform or die. We have seen many, many members just go away or resign publicly. So it is written in the forum rules, so shall it be done.

At least, that is what I have learned in my year here. I have expressed my doubts about it all, and eventually just gave up trying logic. Now, I just bark out my beliefs and leave it at that. I am one of the crowd. I don't care.

I don't want to hurt you Quietdove, and I only just skimmed the end of the debate thread. So please disregard what I am saying if you don't feel it applies to you.


I also tend to feel for other people who I think are mistreated or getting hurt. Sometimes someone else is looking at things differently and they say I'm wrong in a way that feels/seems/is condescending. I often feel very overwhelmed by that type of situation and have a very difficult time. This happens regardless who is right on the facts (one time someone wrote in their thread as well as sent me a scathing PM-or two- about how I'm not on the spectrum and am just guessing, and did not belong posting in his thread. He fabricated that idea, but I still felt overwhelmed, based on.....his internal thoughts. Maybe that's not the same as what happened to you, but some of it is. OOM can be harsh but I think she would not want to hurt you, just to win the argument. I think too that she would agree that she could be wrong if she got evidence but she isn't someone who will go looking to see the other side.

Can you see as I often have trouble seeing that when someone tells us we are wrong that is their opinion and does not make them right? OOM said you're being childish and she isn't. I think she'd be the first to agree that saying something DOES NOT make it so.

So here, in your thread, in the Haven where hopefully you can feel people are primarily supporting you, if you'd like, you could post whether you feel you were childish, or simply stating a thought through position (I imagine the latter?). Doing so will not erase the arguing, but maybe it could help you clarify what you needed in the other thread. People disagreeing with you aggressively may be right, but they are not more right for defending their position more vigorously, nor does your failure to persuade make you wrong.


And i also try to stay away from PPR, it's not a good place for someone who takes people at face value, it has a lot more arguing to argue than most of WP.