My parents sent my brother to a boarding school

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My aspie brother was bullied by another kid. From a straight A student and a kid who never argued or caused problems, he went to being sullen, deliberately breaking the window in my parents' bedroom, talking back.

I was twelve and my brother fourteen. I heard my father say to my mother in front of my brother when I was supposed to be asleep, "From now on, we won't talk to him anymore. He's not our son anymore." Because my father didn't like the way my brother acted. He also erased some songs my brother had on his casette as punishment for breaking the window.

A few days later, my parents took my brother out of the boarding school and sent him to a regular school, eight Am to four Pm. He had to take a bus, and it took him something like half an hour or forty five minutes to get there.

This was decades ago, but we aspies don't forget and keep obsessing over things forever. My parents claim my brother didn't say he was bullied at first, and the moment they heard about it, they asked the teachers to do something. Of course, the teachers did nothing, and my parents took my brother out of the boarding school.

I don't know how he was bullied exactly, in what form. He doesn't talk about it, and my parents won't say. We don't talk much in my family.

In your opinion, were my parents justified in forcing him to go back to that boarding school for those few days? Even if they didn't know about the bullying, just judging from his behavoir, a kid who'd always did what he was told before, and had started acting up when put in boarding school.

Well, they had every right to do what they did, whether they cared about the consequences for your brother or not, didn't they? So who are we to judge them?

I have no idea because I don't know everything about the situation. I'm assuming they made the best decision they could with the information they had at the time. Does this still bother your brother?

No, but I tend to obsses over things. He doesn't. He's one of those precious few calm aspies with no insomnia nor stomach aches or obsessive compulsive disorders. But my mother just happened to bring it up a few days ago while talking to my niece, and I had flashes of memory of how he had suffered. He must've felt like the whole world was against him: picked on at school, teachers not giving a damn, and his own parents forcing him to go back to that place.

I do tend to dramatize things a bit, I'm afraid. He must've forgotten all about it. But because no one will tell me what happened, I wondered if he was beaten up, afraid, or really abused. It only makes things worse.

I would say that almost everybody has felt something similar for some reason or other during childhood at one point. I know I did, a lot. I did obsess about it for years but I got past it. I think having that feeling and dealing with it and then finding out that it's not true, that everybody isn't against you that it's just something that you went through is part of growing up. It's not a pleasant part but it does help you learn to put things in proportion and to get over things. Most people have forgotten the things like that they felt in childhood although they might remember them if you brought them up or brought up something that reminded them of it. You could even ask your friends what their worst memory from childhood was if you want to see this for yourself.

I'm not trying to put you down for asking about it or worrying about it, I'm just trying to give you some perspective on it. I'd also urge you to talk to your brother about it and ask how he handled it, and that may make you feel better as well.

I am not sure why they sent him there and sometimes parents try to make the right decisions but they are not always the best decisions. If your brother seems fine and has seemed to have forgotten and he still has a good relationship with your parents, then that means no harm was done and he is fine so I wouldn't worry too much about it.