Why I don't want to live anymore

Post Reply New Topic

Life is so boring when you're lonely locked up in a room 24/7. I get the feeling because of my ASD I'm prune to living lonely for the rest of my life.

I really want to go if the fate of my existence is this life. I just don't see a point in living.
I have never felt accepted anywhere, and am so angry at loser guys who get all the women and friends they want and probably don't deserve.

There are times I even think about taking others including family before myself to bare them the agony of carrying on this world without me, the forgotten one.

You are not forgotten here on WP.

What you are interested in, primarily?

Why are you "locked up 24/7?" Is that a metaphor for how you feel in autism?

I stay here because of my daughter. If she were gone, I would go soon after. Many of us who are suicidal find something to hold us here - the biological imperative is very strong.

I'd never take my girl out to free myself though - a moral choice I simply could not make.

Life can be a POS. Sometimes you just have to accept that you've been dealt the wrong cards, and make the best of the hand you've been dealt.

There are not necessarily any "right cards," I believe.

You have to deal with what you're dealt with--whether it's "right" or "wrong."

Sort of, though not entirely.
Talking about metaphors, I don't know if we've chosen a certain life just to overcome our challenges but sometimes I feel this way.

One thing I'd never have the intention of doing is hurting other Aspies, only NT's because they've made my life hell. I was ridiculed my whole life and wish death upon some of them.

Right cards are those that allow one to win a hand, even if only occasionally. Some of us only ever get dealt unsuited 6 and 8. We're highly unlikely ever to win a hand.

We have to find strategies to cope with this.

Sometimes, people do better when dealt 6's and 8's than when they are dealt Kings and Aces.

I'm, actually, agreeing with you.

My strategy would be to cheat because the odds are highly against us like some force purposely there setting us up for failure.

We'll never win a hand without cheating. Like one bosso said mother nature hates me and if it wasn't for civilization I'd be dead, well in that case mother nature has a price to pay if his theory about overpopulation is correct and only good genes survive.

In that case, I shall obliterate thy man with so called "good" genes helping mother nature in even further, hehe.

But fear not, it's not like I have homicidal intentions.

No. What you are doing is what my psychiatrist refers to as "normalising"; i.e downplaying my experience in an attempt to make me realise how "normal" I am.

6 and 8 will lose a hand so much more often than Aces and Kings and, as I said above, survival strategies are needed for those of us that only get 6 and 8.

Other than saying that, not going to play this game with you more in this thread out of respect for OP.

OP posted here saying "Life is so boring when you're lonely locked up in a room 24/7" to which my answer is "yes, it is". Sometimes those of us who get dealt exclusively 6 and 8 just want to be heard. My response to OP was about saying - "yes, I hear you"

YMMV

LOL - cheating is good. If you can cheat a few hands then go for it. I am so dysfunctional I have no idea where I'd be without the UK benefits system. I'm propped up by a system I simply do not understand, and am well aware of the irony of it.

Have you thought about doing something to help other Aspies? This may provide your life with a purpose and perhaps even something you can enjoy.

From my perspective the world of typical humans is quite bizarre indeed, but I carved out a niche that allows me to collaborate with others who have Aspie traits, remotely/online most of the time.

From your post is seems you are looking for acceptance and some form of relationship. WP is a good starting point for the former. It is even possible to find a life partner and start a family, but it may take time. Looking for a partner in the typical population is not always the best approach.

Why are you locked in a room 24/7? That could drive anyone insane.........and in all honesty your family would probably have a better chance of a better fate if you didn't harm them before harming yourself, in all honesty as devastating as it could be people have a knack of moving forward from deaths of family, even if it is suicide. Seriously I just think you should really think about this instead of doing anything rash immediately. If you really feel you'd d something I'd suggest going to the hospital first...in the end it works out a lot smoother. And loser guys don't get all the friends/women they want, some think they do...but trust me I've seen this, and the chicks who remain uninterested in such males.

Hi Brainpower,

I think you do want to live and find a better situation in life, otherwise you would not have posted here. I understand the caged bird feeling, and I know how it feels to have nasty people betray in a very awful way.

It's important to first find something to keep you busy. Any man, like has been said, who isolates themselves will end up going crazy. Do you have a job, or seeing a therapist or anything like that?

Do you have a special interest or hobby?

But why are you locked up 24/7? Is it against your will?

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. If I were feeling this way, I would want to make a hole and escape. Especially if you've done nothing wrong.

As for the cards, you have to live with what you're dealt with. End of story.