Frustrated, depressed, done

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I'm just exhausted, emotionally, mentally, physically. I'm frustrated with my family because I'm stressed out and the depression makes everything seem worse... I'm trying to work to make money, but since I work from home, I still have to deal with my 4 yr old and 2 yr old though my husband is getting a little better about watching them... sorta. I have one commission that needs to get done within the next week and another that needs to be done in two weeks and my husband is going to go back to work soon (teacher). I just want to have some time to work by myself every day in peace and it's not happening.

And then the one person I do hang out with (our kids are friends) is going in for brain surgery on Wednesday (cancerous tumor) and we're all worried about that. My parents had to go fly out to help my grandma because she's not doing well, and they had only just gotten back from their three week vacation/roadtrip and hadn't had time to unwind from that. We went from planning them taking the boys for a few days to saying goodbye to them again...

I keep wanting to take the boys somewhere fun before my husband goes back to work but he keeps not wanting to. They frustrate him a lot, probably because they're like him in a lot of ways, and so I end up being with them 24/7 (they do still wake up at night) and I'm just so tired... My eldest is ASD and ADHD and has trouble communicating which ends up getting really frustrating for both of us because I have a hard time understanding in general and I don't want to get mad at him when it's not his fault... and then my husband just gets mad over everything because he's on this short fuse and I'm still having to take the boys out to give him space and it's just not fair and I'm frustrated and tired and depressed and done with everything.

I almost ran away a couple days ago. Just wanted to up and leave...

Edited to say I keep wanting to reply to people in Haven but how can I offer any peace or advice or anything when all I can think is how frustrated and depressed I am?

Two young kids would be exhausting for anyone - you're doing well to hang in there. Depression is hard to deal with, it can make anything into a difficult slog when all you want to do is pull the covers over your head and pray for it all to go away. You on meds for depression?

Two is a difficult age for a parent - the light at the end of the tunnel is that with each passing day he is becoming older than two But that don't help you much when you're dragging yourself out of bed on yet another night.

You talk of running away - any chance you could simply take a few days off? Anyone you could stay with for a few days to build your strength up?

It's the easiest thing in the world to offer advice or spout a few well meaning platitudes. Maybe you could offer something else - the gift of listening, of helping the poster to feel "heard". Depression is a disease of isolation and it can sometimes be comforting to know that someone else knows where we live.

I agree. The exasperation level with kids is frequently high. I don't even see any "pathology" here--more like normalcy.

Perhaps you could leave the kids with a babysitter and just go somewhere. In medicine, there's something called "respite care." I think this is a time for "respite care"--provided by the babysitter.

I also agree that it is therapeutic to offer advice based upon your experience. You'd feel good about yourself afterwards. Trust me!

I don't see anything wrong with replying to whoever you want. After all, you take care of kids when you're exhausted. Replying is a lot less work than that.

They've tried me on meds but I don't seem to react very well to them :/ The last ones I was on had unpleasant side effects and it took my creativity away, which made me more depressed!



We were going to get some We went from planning my kids to spend some time with my parents, to my parents having to fly to another state. My husband's parents still work, his dad being a firefighter and never home and his mom working two jobs on top of caring for her MIL and so never home, and the one lady I do hang out with is in surgery at this moment. (we don't have money to pay for someone to watch the kids) So it's just a little more time before respite, or running away. It happens.

To make it more interesting, got a text from my brother showing his feet and he was surrounded by paramedics in a hospital -_- He got seriously rear-ended and so my husband is off helping him out.


Surprisingly enough, it takes me a lot more mental effort to reply to people than it does to wipe butts and throw food at the kids, although they are mentally taxing too. They suck my words out of me.

Sorry you're having such a hard time right now, Kamiyu. My sister is a stay at home mother with two girl toddlers and they are quite a handful too, especially the older one. Luckily she has our mom in the same city to look after them.

Indeed creativity needs some peace and quiet and it's hard to get motivated sometimes.

I am also sorry your friend is going through medical issues. Sometimes too much happens all at once,like with your brother's problems too.

You'll get through this. Ensure you can get enough sleep to recharge your batteries.