My existential crisis.

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I feel a genuine lack of meaning and purpose in my life. Like I exist to consume, to buy things I do not need, to work my day job and blow my paychecks, to seek out pleasurable sensory input to medicate my depression over how empty this way of living is.

f**k it. I know exactly what I need to do. I need to forge my own meaning and purpose. I need to take the skills I was born with and put them to good use. I need to get out of my apartment more. f**k, I need to get out of my own head more. There are others in the world that I can relate to, that I should extend my hand to, that I should make myself useful to without any expectation of reward.

There is a cure to my emptiness. It just takes a lot of effort on my part.

You hit the nail on the head.

Now...get out there!

Yep. Sometimes following a new path is just putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.

Now there's a mantra to live by

Take things slowly. I takes time to change your lifestyle in a good, meaningful way.

I want meaning and purpose NOW, dammit!

Heh. The search for immediate gratification at the expense of my long-term well-being has been one of my character defects for most of my life. I want to dive into recovery head-first and reap all of the benefits today. Knowing that life does not work that way gives me some degree of frustration.