Okay so my boyfriend is probably getting back from California after picking up his son. I can remember him telling me he be leaving in Friday afternoon and then getting his kid and I wanted to go along but I'd have to chip in on food for myself since his money is tight. But I have noticed ever since we have been separated, he has been hard to get hold of, he never calls me, doesn't call me back, I always had to call him to talk to him. Only time he called was when he was finally giving me back the LNBF and he had to wait for him downstairs and wanted me to go outside and meet him, he didn't want to go up to the door and ring the doorbell. I think he didn't want to see my family, I can remember him telling me he doesn't like my family. So he went off to California on his own without me, I wasn't going to even call him and ask when he was leaving to clarify, so I can get my stuff ready before he comes. After him being rude on the phone on Monday morning, I decided I was done. So I wasn't going to call him again about the piece and about the trip to California again because to him I never listen. Hello, he is always changing plans and I don't know what to expect. He says he is going to do something and he doesn't do it so it messes me up and it causes me chaos. So I'm gonna have to keep calling and ask about it again to clarify that the plan is still the same. I always need to know ahead of time so I can prepare for it, if something short comes up unexpected, it causes me anxiety and chaos. So because I was done calling him, I decided I wasn't going to keep having anxiety about what to expect and if I shall get ready or not, when I shall get ready, and screw the trip. He can call me when he is going but he never did so I'm guessing this must be the end of our relationship.
I’d say he is disorganized on the inside. He may be organized on the outside but inside his brain, he is disorganized. He does things at different times and he doesn’t keep a schedule so it’s hard to know when something is gonna happen and it causes chaos. I guess no wonder I was a Jeff. Because I wasn’t sure when something was going to happen so it cause me anxiety. That could be why I would break down at his grandparents’ house. Because I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be there and his grandfather procrastinates to leave to go to the bank so my bf could cash a check. My behavior was “can we go now” repeatedly even though I wasn’t asking those words.
But I don’t know if we are still together, if I start finding other men or woman to meet and date, then I’m cheating on him if we were still a couple. I go back and remember him telling me; being separated, we will know for sure if we are good or not, we’ll see what happens like we don’t keep in contact or I hardly call him he’d know I had moved on and he wasn’t right for me. Those might not be his exact words but close enough. I’m horrible at remembering what people said because I don’t remember their exact words. I don’t know if that’s autism or not. Or ADD or language processing disorder. I feel like a Jeff.
Do you guys think he had decided I wasn’t for him so he moved on without telling me?
31 Mar 2007, 3:03 pm
