First off, I'm not in any immediate danger.
I've been thinking off and on about suicide as a means of protest, against a corrupt, evil system that seems to view the little guys as having value only as slave labor, and if we can't be slaves and make the elites rich then we might as well go to the gas chambers.
I know that in medieval England, if you tried to kill yourself and failed you were sent to prison because you were property of the king and if you harmed yourself it was considered a crime against the king, as if you'd taken a hammer to his buggy or killed his horse. Then along came philosophers who said that no, you "owned" yourself, you weren't property of the king.
Well, now it seems that we're going back to where everything and everybody is the property of the kings of today, and if you kill yourself you are tossed in the loony bin and drugged to the gills because the king can't have you harming his "property" (ie you) now, can he? The king doesn't care that you don't like being a slave, you're a SLAVE, remember, so you CAN'T be allowed an independent thought.
All means of protest are shut down, protest movements are suppressed, with hundreds of protesters simply disappearing into the system, people being forbidden from expressing their frustration with being slaves-apparently not only do you have to shut up and plow, you have to be overjoyously HAPPY about it, always smiling and chirpy, and you aren't allowed to unwind, you have to be like that ALL THE TIME!
The only thing is, the media is forbidden from reporting suicides because the king doesn't want it known how many snap under his demands. It seems that if you kill a bunch of people and then yourself, the media goes bananas dissecting your life, but if you just kill yourself, crickets chirp. I don't want to kill innocent people to get a political point across, but if I kill MYSELF in protest, nobody would care. And if I continue living, the king's laws say that that's "consenting" to his system.
So, I'm stuck. I disagree with murder and with the system, but if I kill myself and fail I might be even more dependent on the system than I already am. If I wait it out, the system MIGHT collapse under its own weight, but nobody knows when. I may die of old age before it collapses.