clingy, distant

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seems its a no win. no way to ever make woman happy. so why bother.

so tired of being told why and how horrible I am. this site is depressing.

also why get in a relationship if you never want to see , talk to or deal with the person. why not just let them stay strangers. it's the same freaking thing as if you a couple but never want to see them.

dammed either way basically.

if you like people its bad if you dont' its bad.

if you are romantic your'e bad but if you spend time doing your hobbies you're bad.

is this the aspie men are evil site.

maybe the doctor students are right but only in that all male autistic should be aborted.

all we do is burden the world.

is there a more men friendly aspie site?

i don't need a support site that just makes me depressed by reaffirming and telling me more reasons why I'm horrible and never going to be loved.

Cmon, Sly, not many people on WP tell you how "horrible" you are.

Some people even tell you how cool you are!

Sometimes, people try to bait you. And you take the bait. And it goes back in forth.

People, sometimes, just like a good debate. It's now YOU, per se.

I find the haven and general autism discussion to be respectful forums.

I don't go near ppr or the dating forum...

you're one of the very few who says good things about me but you've also told otheres to stay away from people like me

Who's been telling you you're horrible, Sly? I haven't seen anyone doing that, but I've seen people like KK telling you you're a good person. I've even sent you pms saying how great you are.

But maybe you're having another bad day. Hope things get better.

:Sigh:

I know this thread is direct at me from the L&D board in the Women Have it Harder thread.

In my experience, most of the pessimism on L&D and among aspie dudes in general adds up to baseless fatalism. The fact that love can test my patience is hardly surprising, it's worthwhile though, all one really has to do is stay in touch with people and show benevolence. Merely trying to make one girl happy is clingy. The one sure way of closing some of that infamous 'distance' is to try and impart happiness on everyone around, myopically focusing on one person's needs can prevent you from understanding them in a larger context.

you and others here and lots of women in the rest of the world. your just brought i all up again.

most days are bad days when I get on here. its hard enough getting this stuff from women on dating sites or out and about but then to come here and get it reaffirmed by aspie women and men

been 15 hours without water or food. suppose i have 2 and half days left? i've just been laying in bed last 4 hours feeling pointless. doesn't seem to be anyway to win with women. just too wrong in every way.

As far as clingy/distant, it's different for everyone. I've been with a girl who'd get pissed if I didn't text back in 3 minutes and with one who got pissed because I messaged her more than twice in one day. Everyone's different, it's just a matter of what works for two people..

As far as you go.. WP is extremely sensitive to the stereotype surrounding men with poor self-esteem and dating. While some people might offer you some sound advice, others are just going to shame you. It's up to you to decide what's constructive and what isn't, I guess.

problem is so many women share the same ideas. so how do you find one who doesn't?

I don't think I'd like either of those women. I do text back quickly but getting pissed if i didn't sounds bad. mean irritated would be ok but pissed.

yess they want us worthless men to just go away.

I hope you feel better Sly. Do not believe most women are a sort of way because you came across a few bad rotten eggs in your life. And if this is about that thread, do not let the opinions of others bother you. After all it is only an opinion.

About the clingy behavior: You probably place too much focus on one girl. A problem I get is I get labeled clingy then when I pull away I am relabeled distant. I do not understand a perfect balance.

few thousand rotten eggs is more like it. and opinions shared by millions and millions of people.

see thats the thing. if you want to talk to them daily you're clingy. if you want to go shooting or play videogames you're' distant and hurting her.

people here label me without even knowing what I'mlike. I'm so freaking out and I'll probably ruin any relationsip I have tryint to compensate for something that might not be wrong. like I apparently have to pretend I hate the girl so not to be clingy how is that going to be good

then complicated because everyone has different ideas of clingy. a super clingy woman probably would not find daily texting clingy. heck i see bunch of women say they want daily communication with their man yet those here say I clingy for wanting the same.

I don't know what to do. do I act like I dont' like them and avoid them, or do I text them daily and call them and try to see them while still holding on to my hobbies, though apparenlty doing my hobbies is distant and bad.