Depressed and Suicidal. What do I do?

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Hello everyone,
It's been a while since I've last posted here so I figured I should talk about something before making a decision.

For the past 20 years of my life, I have never been able to find happiness in my life. As an Asperger, my parents thought I was a "difficult" child, my teachers made no effort to understand me, my friends/fraternity brothers all screwed me over because they all thought of me as the "nice guy around".

It is true that for a long time Aspergers was, and continues to be a misunderstood condition. I hate having it. I'm tired of fighting for my place in the world and I still feel like killing myself. I've already drank enough coffee to reach Stage 2 Hypertension and if I drink anymore, I'll end up dying. Life has grown extremely miserable and I feel like overdosing on caffeine is a quick ticket to suicide and getting rid of all of my problems. After all, nobody cares for me.

I feel like I deserve better but I haven't got better. I thought people would understand me but they didn't. I'm just ready to give up on life and just die.

you're young. you can still learn to be nice without being a doormat. you're in college, with likely a decent financial future ahead. think about that. if these ideas aren't helpful enough, try calling the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-talk. write that number down and keep it where you can find it. i've seen them help people.

where did the doormat come from. being nice guy doesn't' equal doormat.

abhma13, are you following this thread?

Yes I am following this thread.

Well I guess nobody is helping...

You're young, and you still have many decades ahead of you. Things can get better, and by committing suicide, you're denying yourself the chance to see your life get better. I know what it's like to be suicidal, I've been there. Don't give up on your dreams, and if people say otherwise, f**k 'em.

Forget it. I don't want to live anymore because I've got nothing good/worth living for anyways. I'm done being unhappy so I guess suicide is the way to go. Better get life over and done with.

I'd much rather die than to live through more periods of unhappiness while everyone tells me it is going to get better when it has never gotten better after all that I've tried.

please call the hotline.

I'm 25 and I've learned it is a waste of time to hope people will understand me, because they won't. Not my parents, not even my close friends. Some people do to an extent but they're few and far between. But what I've learned is it doesn't mean they don't respect me or value me as a person. They might think I'm a little odd and they have no understanding of the anxiety I experience, yes, but they're friends nonetheless. It's best to surround yourself with those kinds of people. When enough people have taken advantage of you, you learn to recognize it and not let it happen, too.

So I have called, everything is better.

It was literal.

It was literal.