We are all being destroyed and I don't want to live for long

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I don't want to live a very long time. Reason is I don't feel useful and I think my opportunities to be useful at all are slowing down the older I get.
Nowadays people are over consumers, they're told that the more you by and the more material objects you have, the happier and more successful you are. That's false though. We are destroying ourselves. I don't want to live in a place where I am losing myself and I become the same too. I would be just another worthless consumer. There is no use once your mind is dulled so much.

I know I can't think nearly as well as I could in the past. I can tell by how I write now from a few years ago. Sometimes I lose the ability to tell what's true and what's not. I can't think so clearly or as fast anymore and it's confirmed I have no health problems causing it, but I'm certain it's due to the environment.

I don't have depression or anything, I don't ever feel such things; but if I live without being able to give back for my existence then that would be a huge problem. I don't want to exist for nothing.

I've learned in my 54 years of existence:

You never know what might happen.

I've felt exactly the same as you. But things have happened to change my viewpoint.

Hmm what things happened?

Many things...

For one: I discovered the beauty and majesty of Nature.

It made me realize I didn't need people for happiness.

Aw. While that's true, nature is being destroyed too.
Shell the oil company want to drill for oil under the Arctic ice which will be a disaster. Oil spills are likely and ithe will be almost impossible to clean up. Also their oil rig isn't even seaworthy. They just want to make money at whatever cost.

Bees are dying and they are a vital part of our ecosystem. We need them to spread pollen.

There are activists who are protesting all you've mentioned.

Good things have happened, too. For one, the New York City air has gotten better in quality since the 1970s. People are able to fish in area rivers; this used to not be true..

If you travel the world, you will still see lots of natural beauty. Nature is much mire resilient than people.

That's true. I want to join them but I'm shy in person.

That's good. I didn't know that. I'm sprites you can fish in new York.

Yeah I suppose you're right.

What makes you think everyone believes that ? I certainly don't...if you were not here there would be one less person who does not believe that, which wont help the odds of alternative thinking. I mean sure I am not perfect, but I try to buy food and such that has been grown/produced in an environmentally sustainable way for instance, I like to know what is in my food as well. I like to stay updated on important issues but not get caught up in all the hype/propaganda when its present...I prefer to form my own opinion based on whatever facts are presented. That is just a couple examples, of course sometimes it does seem entirely hopeless but no point in ending it early now.

I think most Oil Companies are the way you describe...with the disregard for damage they cause, intrestingly enough fuel can be made from hemp...not to mention there are other ways to power things, but it would seem the government would rather make exceptions for them than encourage advancement beyond this archaic method. Hemp can apparently be made into fuel...and I know for a fact it could effectively replace all petroleum based plastic packaging. But Oil companies are greedy they don't like that idea and guess what they have in their pocket besides money?....our government.

I have read a few things about how it could be certain pesticides, I believe Bayer(mostly known as an asprin company) produces one of the suspected pesticides that could be part of the problem. Of course I am not 100% positive but worth looking into more....If that is the case though that and all suspected pesticides ought to be banned. But that is a good example of a very real issue a lot of people don't seem to pay much mind to. 'Oh the bees are decreasing in population on a large scale....oh look Dancing with the Stars is on.' seems to be the mentality a lot of times.

^ick, ashamed I even know the name of that.

How about deviating from this whole materialistic society? That way you can be different and you'll feel you're making a difference in a way.

As kraftiekortie mentioned, your life experiences may (and hopefully) change your mindset and view of certain things.

Well on the morbidly bright side of the equation you don't need to be proactive about shortening your life because you're correct we as a species are setting a foundation for our own extinction. Just grab a lawn chair and watch the fireworks as the population continues to exponentially grow while the resources continue to dwindle and the environment continues to turn poisonous. The festering rot known as humanity will have served it's purpose though: we'll be the lesson for the next sentient species that evolves on this planet, and perhaps our mistakes can teach that species to lose "natural instinct" and become sustainable.

I know how you feel. But you don't have to give anything back for your existence. It's not like anyone did a favour that need to repay. You were the fastest sperm and back then, you didn't think about why you were doing it, you just swam for your life, without even knowing it. Now you're here. But if you really feel like you owe someone something just for existing, then I'd say you owe it to yourself not to give up.

To me I have already made too many mistakes and missed too many opportunities.
I don't know what to do to fix that.
I am not useful now but I will not give up even so. Maybe there are more opportunities for me. I need to find them though and that's difficult.

Some people believe that the world will end someday while others believe that we are living in the last days.I personally don't know what to believe yet.I do know that if there is going to be an end of the world things will gradually get worse and worse.This is what Christians believe.

Well, good luck Starfox. I can't help much as I don't see consumerism and its effects on culture and society as the major issue. It's close. I'm not the kind of person who would get too worked up about it, anyway. There's a good thing that I can do about it and that's what I'll try to do, that's Stoicism, right?

I confess I disagree very strongly with your politics. Marxism has done mankind far more harm than good IMO. People tend to get too attached to their choices, including politics, to the point that it takes over their conscience without them noticing it. It's kind of like consumerism. Others never cared if they were wrong in the first place. I'll leave it at that.

Have you been reading TLP?

As for Christians, not all of them have the same beliefs.

You should make yourselves some Orgonite-Pyramids...