Calling members of Church of Christ

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I am an undiagnosed (mainly the depth I am waded in awesomeness of autism, not quite off in the deep end if you know what I mean) Aspie and been going to church and practicing my religion like a good child. I have a sensitive issue going on regarding my Bible study habits. I have been hounded by the members of the local church...like...every 3rd Sunday some random thing comes up regarding a daily bible study. Anyway, because "the haven" is the most protected I am choosing to post here because of the sensitivity level I am at currently because for my birthday I explained my problem with this inability to see the scripture the way others do (understanding the context and meaning of what is truly being said, although I can spot flaws in traditional translations by sight, so go figure that one out). I say this so loosely so let me crack the latches down causing some crease lines, I do not understand something unless the literal meaning is present (tradition in autistic mental wiring we all know) but more so in the sense of the translations of greek and Aramaic to English and the audience that the inspired writers of the Bible were writing to. for instance, in Acts when the writer, Luke I believe was talking about love it was agape love meaning you know what and I understand after it was explained through counseling from the preacher and grandfather I live with. I understand what it says from Jesus, great is he that is alone and not married, woe to those pregnant or nursing...etc. I understand the audience and time period after spending hours of searching and wasting my time when I know I could have understand better with the help of proper words or something. I am not looking to blog, because that is what youtube is for now, I am talking about not being able to read a traditional Zondervan, Thomas and the latest is the new Inductive Study Bible NASB and I have to return it because I cannot read it. I cannot navigate it and it is sooo frustrating because of the simple thing of it being a gift and my birthday is on Monday. It is not every birthday you turn 25 so I can cope with a late present, I can cope with presenting a lengthy problem and no idea how to find the words to say my exact problem. I cannot cope with sticking a birthday present on the shelf or as a paperweight to hold up a small tv (show of hands that believe that a tv standing on a bible gives you inspiration from God to do good things while watching real tv, please). I know my problem is readability, references, insight that is unbiased, references to inform what the time is and the people receiving this are experiencing, true meaning of what is actually said.

I know I need to be able to see alternate words, references to what passages are quoted (i.e.-Jesus quoting Isaiah frequently) grouping for quick references (i.e.- 1 Corinthians 13:1 could be titled "the excellence of Love), I need to understand how we translate to English from greek or Aramaic so I can grasp the information and be able to communicate the difference of the infatuate love and agape or anything. I understand that you don't actually hate your own life in the world and yourself but that you need to love the Lord more than any other comparison ever available. I absolutely never would have ever picked that up in this or three lifetimes. no way..that's so far apart.

Im complicated, I am intuitive, I am empathetic, I can visualize best more than almost any other person around me (drafting and design student anyway). I cannot visualize the bible and I cannot keep on track with what the Lord is saying and I cannot continually ask for someone to hold my hand to read the bible regarding anything other than matthew, john, acts, romans, and parts of 1st Corinthians, Hebrews, james. I have one of the most sturdy faiths in the area and yet I can't quote scripture, I cannot evangelize nor can I give reason to why I do the things I do (I am solidifying my fiath without scripture reference and I have no affiliate faith at all). I have been a Christian since I was 13 years old minus a dark renascence period of my own. I am really specific in how I study the bible because I lose the thought of why I am reading and start randomly thinking up my own reasons and won't realize it for days and it is usually when I make a fool of myself to others around me. I just sit in class and don't ask questions or share my opinions. It's not that big of a deal anyway because I don't like the spotlight anywho.

I need a Bible and I am extremely frustrated with hurt, anger, and sadness because all of the features I focus on and utilize seem only to be in the Bibles that are specific to the publisher that makes them. That and I cannot find anybody who is experienced in Bible-tude enough to be able to tell me terminology, or publisher or custom maker for the things I am looking to incorporate in a bible. who wants to see a guy in class with three bibles and then has to say "hold on!, gotta turn three bibles here to follow along." " Hold on, I am not finished reading my second bible yet". It is all very discouraging because I feel that maybe along with the flirting cues and friendship cues that I have been missing all these years that I am missing opportunities to be evangelistic and grow myself in the Lord in the facet built in. I do not have anyone to speak with around me unless I am to 45 miles one way cutting my vo-tech education and spending $85 at the door for a person who may not even share any ideals remotely close to me. speaking of which, $85 is approximately like 2-3 months worth of lunches to me. As you can tell, if you read every word here, I cannot communicate my point across at all. I can only tell you the effects and not the actions that start them. I have taken several classes on communication as well. I have read several dale Carnegie books and still have this difficulties so bare it with me if you will and help me to find my water because gee im thirsty! Thanks for your time and please don't move this post to an area where it can be made fun of or attacked. I hope for the feedback quickly. and no...I am not spending thousands of dollars to learn greek and Aramaic so I can appease myself. let's be real, I can spend that money on learning how to rally car race or build a video game or something cool that blows off steam or creates a career. (look at that justification, eh?)

I don't know which of these suggestions, if any, will help, so I will just give them to you and let you decide if they might work for you.

1. If you want to have alternative wording in your bible, you might try the Amplified Bible or the Expanded Bible. They both have extra words in brackets to explain parts of the verse that might be confusing. I have not used either of these bibles much, but my brother uses the Amplified Bible and he likes it.

An example of the Amplified Bible: John 3:14-15
"14 And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert [on a pole], so must [so it is necessary that] the Son of Man be lifted up [on the cross],
15 In order that everyone who believes in Him [who cleaves to Him, trusts Him, and relies on Him] may not perish, but have eternal life and [actually] live forever!"

An example of the Expanded Bible: also John 3:14-15
14 “Just as Moses lifted up the ·snake [serpent] in the desert [wilderness;Moses put a bronze snake statue on a pole, and those who looked at it were healed of snake bites; Num. 21:4–9], the Son of Man must also be lifted up [an allusion to the cross and resurrection]. 15 So that everyone who believes can have eternal life in him [or believes in him can have eternal life].

The entire text of the Amplified Bible is available here: http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Am ... Bible-AMP/
The entire text of the Expanded Bible is available here: http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Ex ... Bible-EXB/ (you will have to scroll down to the bottom of the page)
You can also buy a hard copies of both of them, and the Amplified Bible is available as a study bible with extra notes.

2. If you like to read multiple translations, you could get a parallel bible, which has multiple translations side-by-side. If just saw on on Amazon that has NIV, KJV, NASB, and Amplified together (that must be a huge book!). You can get simpler parallel bibles that just have two translations.

3. If you have questions about how accurate a translation is and you want to look at the original text, you can use an interlinearized text, which has the text in the original language with the word in English below it.

You can get free PDF interlinearized texts on this website:
http://www.scripture4all.org/OnlineInte ... _Index.htm - Hebrew interlinearized Old Testament
http://www.scripture4all.org/OnlineInte ... _Index.htm - Greek interlinearized New Testament

4. If you have trouble following the passage as it is written on the page, you could try getting an audio bible to listen to. You can just listen to the audio, or you can follow along in your written bible at the same time.

I like the audio Bible from Faith Comes by Hearing, because it has "dramatization" (meaning there are sound effects and the voice actor changes every time the person speaking in the bible changes. Also, I like it because it is free. You can download them from this webpage: http://www.bible.is/audiodownloader Unfortunately, when I went to download an audio bible from the a couple of weeks ago, I discovered that you now have to create an account (by giving them your email address) or log in with a facebook account, and you have to give them your mailing address and sign up for newsletters, which is very annoying. However, I logged in with my facebook accound and so far nothing unwanted has popped up on my page, and for the mailing address I put "I don't have a mailing address" (which is partially true) in the street line and it was accepted.

You can also stream audio bibles to listen to them from this website, no email address or contact information required: http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/audio/

5. If you have a lot of questions while you are reading, I would recommend keeping a notebook nearby so that you can write down your questions for later. That way you can finish reading the passage and then you can research your question later. I know uncertainty can be difficult and sometimes you need an answer in order to understand the passage, but if you are having a lot of questions every time you sit down to read the bible, you might need to set aside some of the questions for later in order to finish the passage you are trying to read.

I hope some of the suggestions help. God bless you in your bible studies.

I can identify with your struggles over evangelizing. As a teenager, I struggled with constant guilt because I was not sharing the gospel with people on a regular basis. People at church often said things like, "If you really love Jesus, it is only natural that you will talk about Him to the people around you." That hurt me because I was very passionate about the idea of sharing the gospel with people, but I couldn't do it. I had very poor conversation skills back then and almost never talked to anyone. I finally realized that the people who say that are people that socializing comes naturally to. Those people think that wanting to tell people about Jesus and telling people about Jesus are practically the same, because they don't know what it is like to not be able to talk to people.

A lot of churches and teachers will tell you stories about people who sit down next to a random stranger (on a bus, on a plane, at a coffee shop, etc.), start a conversation with them, and ten minutes later you are telling them about how Jesus dies for them. A lot of Christians think that is the ideal sort of thing we should all strive for. That is how socially talented extroverts share the gospel. Not everyone can do that. Other times, people will say, "Just share the gospel with your friends." They say it like it is easy, without realizing that the person they are talking to doesn't have any friends. That hurts.

For extreme introverts and aspies, the most important thing is for us to be ourselves and have a good relationship with God. Then, God will use you however He want to. You might have the opportunity to share the gospel with someone someday, but in the meantime, don't beat yourself up like I used to beat myself up. If God had wanted you to be a socially talented extrovert, He would have made you that way.

Also, there are a lot of things you can do to serve and help build up the church without being social. If you are technically talented, you could ask your pastor if they need help with the sound system, lights, powerpoint (if your church uses it), church website, etc. You could also ask if they need help with "grunt work," for example mowing the grass around the church, cleaning up the kitchen after a church meal, tidying up the church after everyone leaves on Sunday afternoons, etc. Depending on how big your church is, they might have paid employees that do those things, but they can often use more help.

Anyway, I hope that encourages you a little bit. God bless!

uh...-sigh-..though your thoughts and reply is welcomed and taken in greatly to account (not a big fan of amplified bible because of the disorienting way the words are listed and the flow is all wabberjawed, if that makes sense). I have not seen the word for word translation but can only imagine at the moment with the history of google translator how that works out. (Something to note, I do not create bias or continually think biasedly now am closed minded. I don't understand where people think I do so to throw that out there) It is the format the bible is in with grouping of text I am seeking because the bible is meant to be taken in with context views. anybody can search the bible for their answers and justify their ways of thinking, no? look at Satanism, catholism, Baptist, Lutheran, Pentecoastal (don't actually know their history that well), Methodist, and any other off shoot of the catholic church in the reformation period (correct time I think) of the religious history books. for instance it clearly states baptism is complete immersion and only observed in the period of John the Baptist and not before. the word baptismo is not listed in the text before John. I digress because it is not apart of my thought except to show I am most likely sticking to NASB and will happily check out any other translation out their to verify and confirm the better. It is the format the text itself is in (little dyslexia) and have date and time periods and lifestyles the people where living in and the historical facts like, This book was written in the time period of 60 a.d. because of such and such roman king demolished the Jerusalem after such and such time and the text is implying it is still standing at this time. I cant even begin to explain my point of view it is all a blur and to connect all of the views would be madness incarnate. It is like being blindfolded and trying to combine a airplane with the blocks and you have like 6 different lego pieces and only a certain amount of legos to make it happen but you cannot connect the other brand pieces together and it has to be legos. And you have no idea how big the plane needs to be. no help is allowed even though there are people around and talking to you and offering the help that is valid but it is also in a different language and the translator is just a ignorant (uneducated for the sensitive hearts) translator in both languages. When I look at the problem I myself have to have some organization and I would hate to tear up 3/4 of the pages up for no reason to make it readable. because there is nothing wrong with organization and the glue bonding that already present, just someone let their kid put it all together before they glued it and put is in a imitation leather sleeve. I wish I could show what I see and show what is going on, because these words are not even going to be received as half truths because of the way you think is so different than the way I think. neurotypical or autistic or aspie It is so hard to express with the extended vocabulary I have right now (grant only 10-12th although the majority here is like 3rd or less).

It is not that there are not difficult text pieces to understand. It took me years to figure out pearls to swine and I still don't understand it well enough to explain it, because not a single person has effectively explained it yet what pearls to swine actually stands for. I have questioned a preacher who has studied every translation of the bible available in the early 2000's all the way back, written a book on the levels of faith and the essence of revelations. I have asked him and several others who have studied greek and comprehend it. all have majored in English in college. (let's not forget that the English standard in America has changed several times because we want all our own stuff like little selfish kids, I mean newly formed countries..(:) eh? I would appreciate feedback concerning communication effectiveness, intensity, flow, and sanity if you can gauge it. I am calming down from the last night drama, so thank you for that.

I have tried to do the audiobooks and I do not feel as immersed into what I am doing and find myself loosing interest. whether it is a book I like or the bible I just get bored and end up ignoring the audio to do what I want. A notebook does not record thought trains or flow ribbons of emotion that run through us as we have experiences. I have tried multiple times in the past to record thoughts and records lists with no avail in regards to time management, shopping lists, to do lists, questions, interview ideas, ideas, design possibilities, etc. I can say that I can hold my thoughts better than those times, but I can also tell you that I have tried the bible notepad within the last year period and no change. I cannot back up my rhetoric stance in seeking my answer because people are still getting confused when I ask a question and then look at the pad and say that they have answered their question...not mine. I cannot hold that picture in my head to ask anyone. This is not about clarifying, simplistic things like "why did Paul...why did Jesus cry?...Why did Paul part ways with...Why did the Hebrew writer not pen..." it's no longer important but the things of clarifying and recorrecting those around me what the text says and why it says what it says and the possible worldly views today. I can tell you right this moment what God thinks about same sex anything, I can tell you a basic reason why it exists, I can combat almost any argument and any belief about it. because of the pathos, logos, and ethos. I can tell you to what extent is it that God is okay with and where you cross the line with the Lord in violating His will because I spent three hour shouting match with my grandparents (ordained preacher and current elder in the church) and my own father while combating them asking why am I questioning and if I am gay myself because my statements are so convincing and something else..idk. I can convince people the truth and tell people in terms that they can understand what is necessary to be right with the Lord if they wish to have a same sex relationship (any kind, fare weather friend and up). But to get here I had to fight three of my own family on like three levels to just get my answer. This is not healthy for them. especially my grandmother because she does not like strife or confrontation. works well with me Mr. Bull in China Closet...not really. So I post here and I do hope that I have communicated a visual image that can be received on a plane that maybe 50% can make it across because believe it that is pretty darn good and I can run a 10k with that little 500 meter info exchange amount. gotta go appointments all day

I will get back with Racheal in a bit...maybe late tonight. thanks for the reply and Ill read it when I can sit down and take it in. thanks

okay, to Rachael,
I hear what you say, I understand you point of view and I understand the point you are conveying. I say this to build you up with the correct facts and rapport to prepare you for what I am about to say. I do not mean to sound mean or condescending or uppity or anything of the nature.

I have an understanding of the positions of the hurch that are available to those who seek the will of the Lord. If we all go out and evangelize who prepares the building whilst we are away? the sermons do not develop themselves while the preacher is out and about trying to save people continuously. Which by statistical standards if you have a single person consistently evangelizing you will save far less people than if you were to live out your life. Let us hit the scripture real quick...where the heck is it...idk anyway it says if the ear wants to say I am an eye to be important...you get the rest and when you "throw the torch down the well" it can be easy to understand that if we are all apart of the body of Christ that we all have our different roles and positions to make up the Lord as we are righteous as He created us for such a purpose. digressing, I believe that is just another iteration of what you said and so in a comforting way. I apologize for the brashness of my personality and I did try to dilute the Kool-Aid before shoving it to you.

It is also seen in a personal application, well myself has applied it that is. I understand I am not Peter, or a Thomas, or a Paul. Maybe a Phillip. I personally don't care except to not fail the Lord. I have an opportunity to be evangelistic and a representation of the Lord and child of God. There are two women I am very concerned about their placement in the sight of the Lord and I do get caught up and mix emotions without confusing my place with the Lord. That much I do get correct. I am not going out door to door (I figure that is not what you mean by intensity so it is all cool, mildly humorous).

I do appreciate the help and everything that has happened so far to find a resolution here. =)

sorry i don't have knowledge about this but i m join this because i like this community thanks...