I feel horrible.

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Hey, WP. It has been quite a while.

Recently, I have graduated high school (which no one in my biological family has done). Also, on Thursday, I started college. It was nice, sure, but the attention was all put towards my younger sister, who is 16 and has BPD. She actually screamed and screamed at my parents the night I started (I go to community college) until they called the sheriff and she was sent off to the mental hospital.

Everything she does is a diversion; a misdirection of sorts.

Really, though, I have a point.

I just feel so awful about myself recently. I need to lose at least 100 pounds to be pretty again. I am so tired of being made fun of and feeling so lonely. At work, they were telling me I couldn't do anything right, sexually harassing me, and giving me only three hours a day at best. My mom quit my job. Now, all she does is yell at me.

I received the formal application packet for the service dog in an email, but my mom won't let me print it out, at least, not here, as it is 60-ish pages.

I am so depressed. I never get to accomplish what I need to because my other sisters need money for their illegal habits. I started college and got yelled at for going. I am so fat and ugly. I need a break from reality.

I'm sorry you feel this way

Welcome back to the site.

Well, thank you. Both of you.

I told my stepfather that I have been getting dizzy and having headaches for weeks now. He says it is because I "need to exercise". I cried a good bit. I simply cannot go out and exercise like everyone else does. I cannot stand being outside. The brightness of day and the bugs everywhere are far too much for me (especially when I have a phobia of bees and cannot bear the sound of buzzing).

I would like to get an exercise bike and stick my laptop on top of it. I am going to major in computer science, after all.

Oh, what I would not give to be on my own! But I no longer have a job, and I cannot drive.