The usual

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I don't know what I'm hoping for with this post, the last few days have been filled with an increasing anxiety.

I'm moving and starting a job in the next week, today is a day off from the preparations, but my anxiety levels are still quite high, yesterday I couldn't eat and most nights in the last week have been disturbed sleep at best. I haven't had a panic attack yet, but I've had some chest pains.

The real stress hasn't even started yet, but all the familiar strong anxiety symptoms have returned just from doing organising and preparing. The first few weeks of the job will be very stressful, and I am starting to worry that the anxiety will escalate significantly, I really need my brain to work properly, but the effects of stress really interfere with my ability to think quickly.

It almost feels like I am not taking any medication for anxiety. I spoke with my GP about this and he said that I am having a normal reaction to an out of the ordinary situation, and if it starts to interfere with my daily functioning he will consider a medication alteration then. I know that I have to learn to live with this, and identify the difference between regular anxiety and escalating out of control anxiety, but to me its just an all encompassing feeling, that suddenly intensifies or doesn't.

What works for me is getting rid of insecurities like worrying about losing a job or not being socially accepted. Its healthy to worry a little bit, but worrying to much is not worth it and only makes things worse.

I don't want this to be the "usual" for anybody.

I can do things to manage it in a general way, exercise etc.
I am worried that I'm not going to be able to cope etc. The symptoms of being anxious are what concern me the most, when they become intense I don't think clearly, its like that ability is blocked, and nothing I do in the moment eases it sufficiently. I could make bad decisions at those points in time.
I know deep down that I can cope, its a familiar type of job, and while the first month will be stressful, it will be calmer when I become accustomed to the routine and new environment.

What I mean by the usual, is that anxiety is a very familiar experience for me. I didn't know that it wasn't normal to be so anxious (but I didn't have a name for it then), and even when I did learn about anxiety fourteen years ago, I thought it was just the intense symptoms, only recently have I come to understand just how constant it is for me.

It seems that just about anything causes me to be anxious, but I have to live and make my way in the world, there isn't a plan B.

Yeah...I know what you mean.

At least a mild level of anxiety is a constant for me.

There are times when I feel dread for something which is really not dreadful

Your anxiety is escalating because of future anxiety. Try to take your mind off of it and think about the "right now". Worrying about job anxiety is jumping ahead of yourself, and anticipated anxiety is usually worse than when you actually show up. Right now it's an unknown.

I know it sounds simplistic, but it does help. Just breathe and focus around you. Then ask yourself if you are worried about something that is in your present space.

Good luck with the move.

Maybe boost your GABA levels. The stress of change may have lowered the levels of this calming neurotransmitter. That can be remedied quickly and easily. See recent threads on calming anxiety for more information on General Autism Forum.

The relative balances between the four neurotransmitters do not stay in constant relationships. Many HFAs are particularly sensitive to the effects of low GABA (innate) becoming critically low through the addiction of stress.

Thanks for the advice.

I think I need to not think about any of it.
I will read those threads, and maybe find out about stress addiction too.

Sorry Amity that should have read the ADDITION of stress, silly B19 typo wrote addiction instead

Lol, I did wonder.

I'm a bit addicted to stress :p

I hope there will come a time, sooner than later, when this state of affairs won't be your "usual."

Lol, when I read it I wondered if I was possibly a stress junkie on a subconscious level.

Kraftie, I hope so, it feels counter intuitive to put myself in situations where I know I will be stressed for a month or so.
With time I will become comfortable with the new routine, and the new location, I have to manage the anxiety really well till then.

Give yourself full credit for how far you have come Amity, and how much you have achieved. Marvel at the ability and strength of the person who achieved all of that. So much!

I'd have to agree.

You will blow away the anxiety, like a certain goddess blew away amorality in Greece.

Shucks folks, thanks.

I know these things, I do. I don't think I actually feel them though.
I am not so much waiting for it all to go wrong in a pessimistic way, its just my intuition is off center still, experience tells me that something unexpected is going to go horribly wrong, and I would rather not have my hopes up if that is going to happen again.

It all feels counter intuitive, I have to doubt my intuition, remember that my past experiences relate to specific abnormal situations, and take a step into the unknown again.