I'm lost at life now

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I never felt like this before ever in my life. I see noticeably that I am becoming broken aspie guy now. I never felt so anxious of going to social events as before where I kept going to social events where to meet new people. Now I am because I kept being bagged by new people making assumption of me being a ret*d and self centred. My friends having trouble to communicate with me sometimes, that makes me very frustrated. My friends told me I suddenly become negative into a positive and then next minute I become negative quickly again. This is getting clearer that now I am getting catastrophic behaviour thanks to series of chains of events that makes me not being good at life anymore.

Mental health of anxiety, sadness, depression and many other type of issues becoming a topic for me lately. I have my psychologist now. She is very tough speaker that makes me to be shut up and listen to her. Next appointment is on 28th which is still fair away. But I got counselor at my uni beforehand.

So I don't know what wrong with me. I think I am just a bad luck aspie guy with bad reputation. I struggle to make girlfriends and everything. My friends know that I am a dateless virgin, they told me that they can't do anything about that. Looking back at myself seeing I don't make sense in writing and speaking where the reflection of people in general couldn't understand what I am trying to say. This becomes bothersome to me lately because these reactions becoming so frequent than before. I didn't even try do anything that make it bad.

Now at social situations I becoming too narrower and more anxious than before because of lot of people can't understand me, at same time of my hearing loss I couldn't understand them. My psychologist told me I shouldn't bag my disabilities, but people reflections seems to be so. I wonder how I can escape this life.

Having a good grades for my postgrad life. Going to Vietnam before xmas for research trip. Got a job but finishing contract soon but new one this summer. I have friends who talks to me, especially they are all NTs. But miscommunication is heavily severe between me and them because no one understands me. I got this girl who seems being very very very very very nicest to me. Like the nicest person I ever met in the world. She wants to hang out with me, I was so confused because of her attitudes towards me of being way too nice and accepting who I am. I met her through my friends with netball social sports at the uni. I don't want to overthink this because I would fall into devil's land of disappointments. I used to have these situations before when I thought someone likes me and turns out its so wrong. But this time I am totally confused.

I'm sorry to hear that, as someone who has already become that broken bad luck aspie guy, I wish I could tell you something inspiring or that it will get better but I can't. I am wound up so tight with anxiety because I feel like it's getting to the point something bad is going to happen if I can't figure out how to get out of that abyss.

It pains me to see someone else fall into this abyss. Once everything starts going bad, it never stops and just seems to get worse. I don't even actually talk anymore, I'm virtually mute.

Looks like another dead quiet failed thread from me.

I wrote this journal article about my life of being ridiculed of poor social cues.

http://matttheaspiesworld.blogspot.com. ... -cues.html

So fecked up life now. Can't believe I am in this situation now. Being so fucken bad luck life. I should work for ISIS!

Same thing happens to me, failed dead threads. Its like I feel when someone falls as far as we have, people just instinctively dont want to even bother with you. Its like being truly cursed, and becoming invisible.

I think its telling, even on a forum with other aspies, some of us can still fail horribly socially. I just feel like everyone in the world doesnt care, and wants me dead and they'll ignore me or throw me away until it happens.

I wish i knew why this happens, it feels like a conspiracy often enough.

Sorry to hear about that, I've been in similar situations before. I wouldn't feel too bad about the low flow in the Haven right now, I think a lot of people are just burnt out on visiting this subforum right now. I hope you succeed with the girl and if it doesn't try your hardest to not let it destroy you, it happened to me before on multiple occasions and I let it get the best of me. It only leads to a really dark place. Life goes on at it's own pace.