How do I stop comparing myself with others?

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I have not achieved much so far socially and occupationally. I feel like I'm ten or fifteen years behind people my age. I feel envious when I see how much pleasure most other people get from life. I know they have challenges, grief and pain but I feel so alone in my world. I try to behave like someone my own age but it feels like I'm acting out a false persona. I make plans to change my life but I become so stressed and overwhelmed that I always back out or fail.

What makes it even worse in some ways is that so many people have shown me a lot of patience. I want to change but despite being miserable I'm finding it very hard to do anything positive. I could list all the social milestones I have missed but I don't want pity; I have more than enough for myself. I feel like people expect too much of me but then I can't even match those reduced expectations.

Basically I'm not feeling very hopeful.

I wish I could give you some advice but I dunno any better, I can relate with everything you said tho. I just want to be happy and I just don't see anyway that is possible with me being who I am today. Maybe compare yourself to other people? Go walk around Walmart for awhile to feel better about yourself.

I returned to school a few weeks ago and its pretty depressing just being around the other students. How can't I feel inadequate?

I guess you just have to keep plugging and hope things get better or that you just become numb to it.

I'm waiting on access to therapy atm so at least there is something in the future. I have had various medications and talk therapies but not group therapy or CBT. I'm absolutely terrified of the idea of group therapy but at this stage I think there's no harm in trying. I might even make some friends.

I will say that without my family I would be totally and utterly screwed. If I do find a way out of this mess then it will be because of people with more patience and courage than I have.

Totally relatable. I could've written your post, it's exactly how I feel about my inability to work. I see my friends being successful in their jobs, and I envy them. I wish I could function in a work environment, others seem to do it so easily! Being our age doesn't help (I'm 29), I think a lot of people go through this in their late 20's/early 30's, NTs too.

It's such a common unhelpful thinking style that it has it's own name - compare&despair - we only see the positive traits and achievements in others' lives.

There is always going to be people doing much better than you. What is it about this that bothers you so much?

Well, let's start with this question.

Where do you want to take your life?

No, you cannot allow yourself to settle for less when you answer this question. You cannot think of what anybody else is doing when you answer this question.

Allow yourself to embrace that you want a significantly better life from where you are now. You start there, who knows where it will take you and how far uphill you can run with it.

You are worth the effort it.takes to take care of yourself.