Feeling Stressed

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It seems like people who I felt like I could trust end up pushing me away. It really confuses me because with most of them we usually wouldn't have a conflict or anything. I know I shouldn't expect much from people and I usually don't. Most of the time when people are inconsistent or avoid me it doesn't really bother me that much anymore. I just accept it and keep my distance from them. It really stresses me out though when it's with people who I feel like I can trust. I mean, it seemed like they would actively talk about their problems with me and support me if I had any. It just felt like we would connect really well. Then it seems like out of nowhere they start avoiding or ignoring me and then I would never here from them ever again.

It almost seems like the only logical explanation is I that did something wrong because some would even talk about how bad it is to be dropped or avoided and they talk about how they wouldn't want to do that to anyone else. It seems like if I ask for feedback though they would either get defensive or tell me that I never did anything to make them not like me. I also explain to them that I'm asking so that I can learn so that if I make friends in the future I can try to learn from my mistakes and sometimes I tell them that I don't want it to be sugar coated either. I really hate feeling like I'm pestering or making them uncomfortable about these things though.

Some of their explanations are really vague or don't make a lot of sense too so it makes it even more confusing. I really do want to believe their explanations, but what they say wouldn't seem to be a problem to them before. I mean, one time a girl I was friends with seemed to be mad at me about something she didn't even seem mad about around the time it happened. They would seem like very genuine and reliable people too so it almost seems out of character for them. Then I start to worry that someone might have brainwashed them and changed them into a completely different person. It's just something that I've seen happen before and it's really disturbing to me because these people would seem very genuine down to earth and thoughtful. Then they would start hanging out with a group of people that aren't so nice and then they start acting very shallow, arrogant and insensitive. They would just seem to drop all the values that they had and everything. When things like that happen it really upsets me because someone who seems like a really great person can just be persuaded into being someone else.

Then it seems like if I talk to a third party about it they just don't seem to understand. They start assuming that I don't make an effort when I do try. They just don't seem to take it very seriously.

Be grateful that you're one of the good people in the world that is self aware of their own actions and behavior and genuinely cares about other people .