I Got Jailed Again!

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As many of the members here know, I was remanded in custody twice in 2014 because I was accused of harassing two ladies named Sara and Joanna. This year, I was tricked into signing away my tenancy at the supported flat I stayed in from 2011 to 2014 by the assistant director of Autism Initiatives in Edinburgh.

I'd been feeling rather agitated for well over 2 years and their refusal to be fair to me got me riled up. This all basically started because I admitted to liking both of them and people talked behind my back. The seniors were lying and being deceitful. Then they had the nerve to say to me (in jail) that they could have handled things better.

Unable to grasp that I'd been betrayed, stitched up, crapped on, etc, etc - I contacted Sara's partner. Sara was my key worker but she no longer wanted to work with me, like Joanna. Rather than tell the truth, I was lied to numerous times and I have always felt that this mess could have been rectified somehow. Then I ended my support last year.

Due to a breach of the CPO that I received in April, I was arrested in May and had my bail opposed, meaning I was once again remanded in my local prison. Not long after I was fully committed, I received a transfer to Glasgow. This was very shocking as Glasgow is quite far from where I live and I was not able to get bail when I was in court until I pleaded guilty yesterday. They put me in a protection hall full of perverts. I'd found out more about them after being released only yesterday when I used Google to look for their criminal past.

The judge wants me to find new means of support, but the crap the PF come out with was unreal. However, I feel I would fair better with proper friends from now on, as I think caregivers are just in it for the money. I'm quite a chatty person, but I know that support workers are never going to be my friends, and the company took cruel measures to get that across, which have in fact ruined my life.

While I can rebuild my life over time, nobody forgets being in prison. And I was in prison three times for the same thing.

So, what now?

What now? Accept that you made a mistake and learn from it (sounds like you already have to some extent). Stop playing re-runs in your head of all the crappy things that ever happened to you and start looking around for suitable opportunities. Be honest about your past but don't complain to people about it. Find some good friends. Get on with life. Don't Harass women.

OK, man. That sounds about right!

I'm actually registered on Meetup. It's for finding social events where people have the say interests as you. Well, I'm a member of one group that loves horror films, and I was actually surprised to see they did not boot me out of the group or even contact me when I did not show up to an event I marked 'yes' to. It was obviously due to getting arrested. If you decide not to go, you usually get told to log in and change your response.

A bit off topic, but Chris Squire, the bassist of the band "Yes" died a while ago. Not cool. Of course, being in jail meant no access to things such as Wikipedia.

Yes rules. Justin Bieber drools. Truth.

I hope you could move beyond your previous life.

Good thing you're in the UK. You probably have an "unspent" conviction, meaning that it will be wiped from your record eventually--maybe over a few years. I'm not sure how many.

What you should do is go to the court of your conviction to find out.

...I guess we're in a lil' competition here , bro (/mate/cock) , eh ?????????????????????
Hehehe
The basics I most recent " porridge " stint can be found in this line titled " I'm back from jail and a slight heart attack " , or similar , which I will kick back up as of right now...

Last edited by ASS-P on 20 Aug 2015, 2:44 pm, edited 2 times in total.

...I assume it means " a little offense/violating my probation " or similar , but what's the CPO ? Not " Chief Petty Officer " , shurely ...

"basics of my most recent " jail time , I mean !
Three months , eh ???
I just did a week-and-a-halfish ~ Though in 23-hour-a-day " lockdown " , a solitary cell at all times (barring jail staff coming to me) , surely that counts for " bad boy " cred ??????????? hehe ~ , down from a month (California jails being so overcrowded having a lot to do with it , my health I'm sure some more ! )

...My joke was meant as , " We in America are supposed to do things more (if not nessecarily BETTER) " !

Well, the court have deferred sentencing again until September. I've got a supervision officer I'll need to continually see and he will be putting in a report soon. I'd been seeing him before the breach. And on Tuesday, I was lucky to even get bail. After all, I was fully committed, then they had me released.

Quite frankly, this ordeal is rather ridiculous. I've now spent more than 100 days in jail over these two and they carted me off to a prison miles away which is full of paedophiles. One officer said I was being transferred due to the nature of my offence, when I never actually sexually assaulted anybody.

It's hard not to rant and feel bitter. Anyone can see I got screwed. The room I'm in at my parents' house is so cluttered and everything was dumped on my bed, which currently has no mattress.

The day I was moving everything into the house, the police appeared because I'd messaged Sara's boyfriend. While I avoided them for about 2 weeks, I allowed them to arrest me on 21 May.

I'm so pissed off.

You didn't listen to anything I said, did you?

Well, I'm trying to re-establish the relationship with the agency, just with mostly guys for support, and it's STRICTLY BUSINESS.

It sounds like the best thing to do is forget about this damn agency, I mean how many times do you gotta go to jail and get reprimanded for attempting to contact those two women or that agency as a whole before you decide its not worth it to keep pursuing? FORGET about them, if you need emotional/mental support find a different agency....and don't repeat whatever you did to get this one so pissed off.

But I don't get that you seem to entirely comprehend and understand what behaviors are getting you in trouble, and even have a good understanding of what consequences you will receive....yet you continue, I'd say its time to make the leap from being aware of that to not continuing said behavior. In short do not contact anyone from that bloody agency anymore male or female, hell don't even call their after hours messaging system strictly buisiness or not.....or as far as I can tell that is more jail and stress for you.

So why why why? do you continue to keep doing the same thing regardless of jail, hassle of dealing with the authorities, multiple people on forums urging you not to keep doing this, and the stress and misery it must be causing you....I don't understand. And then taking it even further my trying to contact the boyfriend of one of the women you aren't supposed to contact.....? Come on what are you expecting the outcome to be?

I guarantee as much as finally getting the agency and authorities to agree with you that you did no wrong, and have those women forgive you for whatever it is they were offended by you saying/doing and everyone living happily ever might make you feel better that is not going to happen. The second best thing is to drop this and move on otherwise you'll just continue making yourself miserable. Also perhaps see a male therapist, so you wont develop romantic feelings for them because they listen to your woes, since it seems you cannot accept a female therapist not developing special feelings for you.


And I don't want to be be mean but seriously next couple of weeks I am expecting another 'I just got out of jail again' posts where you talk about how you tried to contact those two women, their boyfriends or the agency to attempt to regain some form of contact with them yet again. Because something tells me you won't learn this time either.

Well, I sent letters to a lot of the workers from jail, obviously excluding J & S who I cannot contact. I've sent numerous well written emails over the past year as well to the other former workers of mine from before, just complaining about the way I was stitched up and sent to the slammer because of their co-workers (J & S, of course), and yet not one person replies to them which is pretty useless to me. They are probably not allowed to respond or offer comments on their co-workers. But that indicates to me that nobody from there cares.

Now because I'm getting advocacy involved soon, I think the assistant director Cathy feels guilty / responsible for what played out, and wants to reinstate my support so they can't be accused of doing a dirty on me by ignoring my plea for help. Not everyone at the outreach service turned on me, and part of me finds it hard to let go of the company 100% since they were a huge part of my routine, and it's not like I wanted this to happen anyways. However, a lot has changed in a year. I'm not even clued up on who's still working there, as I was disallowed to be in the accommodation since July of last year and I lost my tenancy in March. That could signal the fact I'm still obsessed.

I'm not happy about this 5 plus years anti-harassment order either. Mentally, I still think highly of the ladies because of how we got on prior to the shite happening, but unless that unnecessary 'no contact' policy gets overruled by the court somehow, I'll never get to make amends with J & S. I'm sure they still work there, so the clock is ticking. I've been in jail for a combined 100 plus days, so if I never got redemption, or a chance to hear how they truly feel, I feel like it was all for zilch.

I bumped into my original key worker called Pam. She has MS which is fatal, and I know she's done my family a lot of good deeds. Why let that muck with J & S overshadow all the good times we had?

Over and over and over and over. Same old same old same old same old.

How many times do you have to repeat this cycle of self-serving selective thoughts and self-destructive actions that lead to the same self-defeating conclusion?

A lot more times perhaps? You already know where that leads and where it will lead back too.

Things will change when you choose to stop recycling your past like a broken record which you have done for over a year now, as I recall. That recycling of junk thoughts, poor me feelings, blaming everyone else and resentment leads nowhere good.

You may need a combination of spiritual and psychological support perhaps to face up to changing the record and taking greater personal responsibility for your life, choices and actions. The destructive cycle can be broken but only if you are prepared to take a more mature view of things and learn to take on board advice from others who are qualified to assist.

You are at a crossroads and it is up to you - do your want your future life to be a trainwreck or do you want to accept that you must choose to change your perceptions and behaviour. Big choice there, but the point of power is always IN THE PRESENT.

So are you guys saying that if I still *NEED* help, to go elsewhere and not air my dirty laundry anymore? Well, I hope you realize that whether I like it or not, any newer means of support people will by law need to know about what happened with this crappy company. That sucks but it's just how they deal with things.

On another note: I really felt I was quite attached to them and did not feel happy about losing my flat.

Light a candle or go on cursing the darkness? Your choice. And the most important choice you will ever make.

If you can find the inner will and strength to chose the first, you will need highly specialised support, including spiritual as well as psychological support. You have dug yourself so deeply into an isolated hole that you cannot get out of it alone.

For you this is a critical time in your life: commit to real change, stop trying to justify past mistakes, or continue on your self-destructive spiral down to very bottom. You are at that crossroad and the clock is ticking.