Overwhelmed by people

Post Reply New Topic

Does anyone else experience this? I often feel that people are just too darn overwhelming and unpredictable to be around. I find that interacting in a group setting is just too much to handle and there's too much to keep up with and process. Work is especially bad for me as I want to feel like I am included in the group with my coworkers but I just get so darn anxious and withdraw even though I so desperately want to partake in their conversations. I feel like I am missing out on an important part of life because I am overwhelmed by socializing. As well, when meeting new people I feel like I have to "keep up appearances" and always act sociable, friendly and out going. I am naturally more of an introvert and a listener so this can be quite draining for me. If I feel like I've "screwed up" so to say, I will try to avoid those people and not wish to talk to them again cos I feel as if they think I'm weird. I also have trouble sustaining long term friendships cos I seem to be obsessed with how the relationship is progressing, if things are going right, if something is missing, ect. and if I feel they aren't (which is almost always), I will shut down around that person.

I know I have crippling social anxiety so I wonder if these issues are related to that or if it is a sensory thing. I have been through alot of trauma and abuse in my past so I have a very hard time trusting people and I have a lot of depression and anxiety relating to it.

Yes.

In many instances I get very overwhelmed in large groups-small groups are better but I think what hurts me more in a small group outing is when I try to talk to someone and they turn away and that no one wants to come up and talk to me-that hurts and it has happened more times than I care to remember because as an aspie I remember them all-its rough

Oh yeah. Crowds suffocate me and make me all dizzy and angry. And if there is any conversation going on amongst a group I have wondered into and do not know very well, I will go quiet for long stretches of time. I keep trying though...after all, I've already experienced the social meltdown, what else can happen to me?

Lately yes, but I'm not in a fairly stable headspace at the moment anyway.

Yes, people overwhelm me. Even when my cousin brings her friends or boyfriend over, I get in a panic and feel I have to speak to them but got nothing to say, plus I'm not much of a great conversation-maker anyway. I feel like I can't be myself around my own family with this stranger sitting there.

Also I am angry because the sh***y government have forced me to go to the city once every 2 weeks to this stupid job-centre place, what is a total waste of time and is in a big place where there's lots of crowds. And a fortnight comes round so quick it's almost impossible to forget. If this place was nearer, with a more regular bus service, or even local, it wouldn't be such a problem, but to have to go to a city with lots of crowds that overwhelm me, I think it's a big deal for me.

Also people overwhelm me when they stand in my personal space, like in shops. It seems that people always want to get to where I'm standing, and I feel like yelling, ''ohh, piss off!''

In crowds I can feel overwhelmed...
Not when I'm in the way, I just feel where I go, I'm in the way.

I also get overwhelmed when family come to my house (moving out is not an option right now). My mum has 2 sisters and a brother, and they always come all at once, thankfully their kids are in their teens and early 20s now, but I think I would rather them be small because at least I could entertain them which will distract me from all the noise. Instead they just want to sit with them, because I suppose sitting with me is rather boring, now they know I'm not the best person to have in their company and that I am just an existance. But I just cannot sit in my room and concentrate on anything when I've got people milling about outside my room, chattering with all the doors wide open, with the TV blarring on pointlessly with nobody really following it, and the kettle roaring because they can't stop drinking tea, and the cat miawing round everybody's feet.......daaaah!! ! You can just imagine how distracting all that irritating hustle and bustle is from your room! I think I'll do better just joining them in the social-ness, but they talk about boring things like when they were young, and I wasn't even born when they were young, so I can't even join in or anything, and I heard all these stories before.

By the way, I do not mean ''milling about'' as in ''grinding flour and milk in a factory''. We also use ''milling about'' as an expression meaning ''standing and walking in and out, doing no specific activity''.

Yes. I'm sitting home alone on the computer feeling horribly guilty because I should be at yet another family get together. It's my niece's birthday party, and a family anniversary and here I am. I'm telling myself I made the right decision because there was a good probability of having a meltdown considering how wound up I've been.
I just feel incredibly sad, and a bit angry that I can't sit in a room full of people to relax and chit chat and enjoy everyone's company. C'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?

Yes, I do. It is a large part of what keeps me from "getting out there".

Sweet Pea hugs

um I think you wrote my post for me word for word.
I've been diagnosed with post trauma stress disorder due to abuse, having difficulty remembering things, but have noticed as I get older, that the need for solitude is increasing. I love my children/grandchildren dearly but feel so guilty when I can't initiate contact with them - just can't deal being around people at times. I feel sometimes like I'm back in selective mutism as I was through childhood and teens.
After therapy (some cognitive - not helpful; damaging and other just talk therapy - more helpful) over 20 years I thought I would be able to function better than I do when around others.
Up till now I've been able to handle being at work around co-workers, but do take different routes when needing to avoid conversation at times. I find that keeping work relationships on a professional level seems to work best for me. I don't get emotionally involved with coworkers or the people I take care of. I've learned to show compassion/caring in a way that doesn't use up all my energy - show the face, say I'm sorry that happened..., do the act, etc., but not use the energy. Its too exhausting. Use my energy to focus on the job at hand - the creative, physical aspect of it.
Sometimes I say stupid stupid things that make me want to crawl out of my skin, but when I listen to my coworkers its a relief I'm not the only one.
When work/life gets stressful I lock my door, turn off the phone, close windows and hole up for a few days, read or listen to music, then I make myself go out and talk with people again - usually family first or to get groceries where I don't have to talk much. Much of my waking time I feel crazy, left over residue from abuse even though its about 30 years in the past.
I don't know if more therapy would be the answer as trust is so difficult.

Definitely. At best, people exhaust me, even my favourite people.

Whenever I get around a group of strangers, my throat gets tight, I can't make eye contact, and I can't even pretend to be friendly or outgoing. I shut right down.