15 Oct 2015, 11:34 am
Why am I so upset/emotional/depressed today?? (not today but some days)
The answer at times is family but being unemployed and trying to look for a job finding my own place is OUT until much later so I have to "learn to deal with it." Which is hard. Faking it "pretending I'm X character" helps yet some days I can't even fake a fictional character.
Why am I trying to learn programming?
Can't return to college (see finance job above.) Right now it's typing stuff (as I'm doing now). I don't see any "making stuff" OMG! AWESOME going on here. 
Why did I get a Criminal Justice degree?
No interest in Prisons/Jails was more fascinated by history of serial killers/murderers outside of learning that in academics an actual job in it with a Bachelors I have NO CLUE what type of job to look for in the field. Enjoy understanding killers = "What CJ job?" I have NO EARTHLY CLUE!
Why am I trying to exercise?
To get healthier and lose some weight look better feel better about myself but even that isn't enough motivation some days. Imagine how you WANT to look and feel I struggle doing that.
So I wonder fellow Aspies do you ask yourself "Why"
16 Oct 2015, 3:19 pm
16 Oct 2015, 4:00 pm
16 Oct 2015, 7:55 pm
16 Oct 2015, 9:35 pm
The answer at times is family but being unemployed and trying to look for a job finding my own place is OUT until much later so I have to "learn to deal with it." Which is hard. Faking it "pretending I'm X character" helps yet some days I can't even fake a fictional character.
Why am I trying to learn programming?
Can't return to college (see finance job above.) Right now it's typing stuff (as I'm doing now). I don't see any "making stuff" OMG! AWESOME going on here.
Why did I get a Criminal Justice degree?
No interest in Prisons/Jails was more fascinated by history of serial killers/murderers outside of learning that in academics an actual job in it with a Bachelors I have NO CLUE what type of job to look for in the field. Enjoy understanding killers = "What CJ job?" I have NO EARTHLY CLUE!
Why am I trying to exercise?
To get healthier and lose some weight look better feel better about myself but even that isn't enough motivation some days. Imagine how you WANT to look and feel I struggle doing that.
So I wonder fellow Aspies do you ask yourself "Why"
I think this all of the time, and I too am in a similar situation. It sucks because it's like a vicious cycle that feeds itself and pulls you down with it. I too got a degree in something that is utterly unhelpful to me now. Additionally, family makes it VERY hard to get up and going onto different things like you mention (for me at least).
I literally ask these questions every other day...
It does get better! Keep plugging away! Action is what will get you out of this situation.
It's good to ask questions though, they help make sure you are still doing what you want to do.
16 Oct 2015, 9:42 pm
A CGI team lead of mine at Microsoft had a CJ degree. Psychology factors into software more than most developers ever realize, even if it's straight-up backend. Criminal psychology is helpful in figuring out who not to work for.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
