Snooping Mom

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I'm not really sure if this is in the right section, so feel free to move it.

Recently, I have changed my passwords on my phone. When my mom discovers this, she forces me and tells me to change them back. I ask her why, and she said I didn't need to know. So this is where I try to find out. Last night I gave my mom my password, then hurried and watched her from upstairs. I saw her looking through my texts and Facebook account, as well as my photos. Is there anyway I can make this stop?

I don't know really...does she have any reason to be concerned about what you have on your phone?

Don't think there is anything you can do about it besides talk to her, I understand what your saying though, although I have nothing to hide I'd hate the idea of somebody coming and looking through all my personal stuff

While I definitely do understand why this is upsetting to you, and it would be to me as well, the fact is that if you are a minor, it is your guardians' responsibility to monitor you to a certain degree. The media is constantly warning of the "dangers" that teens are up to online and with their phones and blaming parents for not watching closely enough if anything goes wrong.

Probably "your" phone is actually your mom's property anyway. At least you know you are being monitored in this fashion, so you can take steps to police your own communications. You could develop a code or delete all of your texts as soon as you've read them.

The person who pays for the phone is the owner.

The owner of the phone decides who has access.

Follow the money.

In all honestly the stuff that is available to 14 year old these days, I kind of understand her position.

14 year old are vulnerable to grooming, cyber abuse, etc.

Most parents haven't got the first clue what is going on with the technology their kids are using. They need to keep up with the technology.

If Mom bought the phone and is paying for the connection, then the phone is hers, and she has every right and reason to dictate how it will be used.

But if the OP bought the phone, and is paying for the connection without any help from Mom, then Mom does not own the phone, and the OP has every right and reason to expect privacy.

Is there any way you could pretend to change the passwords back but just change them to something else she doesn't know?

I tell my kid not to expect privacy with devices and it's been agreed upon beforehand that monitoring was going to occur and the reasons behind it. It was never a secret.

I really don't want to snoop into my kid's life. But it's my job. If I didn't, I'd be a bad parent because there are awful people out there that take advantage of kids, and also because young people often have poor judgement.

I know for certain that it's a good idea, because when I was young I did all kinds of really dangerous things that could've gotten me killed. I talked to older men online, lied about my age, got drunk, snuck out of the house. Of course I thought I was mature enough to make those decisions for myself. I was wrong, and I didn't realize it until grew up.

The kids I knew whose parents let them do whatever they wanted ended up drug addicts for the most part.