Emotional Dump

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A year ago, My mindset was not in the best place AT ALL. It took only from being one year outside of high school that I was in the need for a dose of reality. After the first day of college, I was at my bed crying myself to sleep. I hated the first day. That feeling of being isolated was something I never wanted to experience. Because of this moment in my life. I've become quite bitter throughout the year of 2014, my least favorite year ever. My attitude was just unforgivable towards my family as on some nights I'm become rather depressed and don't want to talk to them or just give off this angry vibe that no one doesn't want to talk to me. I was an emotional mess. I've treated myself like s**t and everyone around me. which explains why up to this day. I sometimes keep thinking I'm better off dead. Even though I've made things up with all of my family members based on how I've acted.

Last edited by Moostar on 02 Nov 2015, 8:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Like you said, 2014 was your worst year--which means 2015 was better!

My worst year was 2011. I owed back taxes and almost got a tax lien on my home.

Goodness, that is the worst. Losing everything you worked for just because you couldn't pay off the debt. Happy to see that events for you had gone up. I know I sound negative with some of my posts but I feel this would help get negative thoughts out of my mind a lot more better than just bottling them up. Its hard being happy with yourself sometimes. specialty when you feel you have no place in this awful world.

But you're going to college, my friend. And you're not failing! I think this is your 2nd or 3rd year? Have you declared your major yet?

I understand one has to vent sometimes. I understand that very well.

As long as you keep perspective on things.

Yeah, Computer electronics, Math is one of my biggest issues so far but My classes are coming along a bit better than I've thought. I just feel that sometimes I'm not doing more for myself. Like I lack features that makes me feel less human and feel more of a unbearable waste of life.

But you're a work in progress--and that's not a platitude!

The skills you learn in college will make you quite useful some day. Why do you think there are all these "STEM" initiatives?

You're progressing in life--despite what you may feel now. And that ain't no lie.

Sometimes, I wish to avoid what AM feeling and just focus on that. Being 20 is overrated.

It sucked for me, too.

But it will get better. Trust me. Provided that you don't just throw in the towel.