Meltdowns/shutdowns suck so much. Why can't I make it stop?

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I'm wondering though why can I not just make the feeling stop. I can usually do almost anything if I want to and put my mind to it but I really don't want meltdowns/shutdowns.

They suck soooo much. Why can't I just get rid of things like this? I am on the spectrum only mildly yet I know people on the spectrum more severly who do not have meltdowns or shutdowns hardly ever. I know people who have it more sevre but struggle with things that I dont; but I struggle with things that they have no problem with.

I would have thought we could help each other but it seems not that easy. Shouldn't I be able to control my own feelings and control my own thoughts? I have learnt to control my behaviour but I still am not better. I just cope differently.

I wonder if you have meltdowns or shutdowns a lot does it actually alter your brain and make it more likely in the future? I've read when you use particular parts of your brain they get stronger and are activated easily in the future. The more you use the more ingrained? What do you think??

Hmm, it certainly sounds reasonable to assume that meltdowns can be a habitual coping mechanism.
However, as far as I know after 2 months or so you can usually sufficiently unlearn a habit to the extent that it doesn't come so you automatically. It would be interesting to know if this applies here...

My autism is quite mild too and I regularly have meltdowns and shutdowns which other people find really difficult to deal with. I think it's worse for 'high functioners' because so much more is expected of us. Our autism is mild enough for us to perhaps not get the support we need and for people to have expectations that are too high and we're not able to cope. I make cards, like little business card things that I can hand out to people if I'm having a meltdown in public, saying what's going on and what to do and not to do (I can't talk at all during a meltdown.) During a shutdown I normally just go to a quiet space in nature (if I can move) and stay away from people. I don't think they can be prevented, since they are a coping mechanism. The little cards have been very helpful for explaining what's going on without having to talk when these things happen at really bad times.

It's overstimulation. Critical mass of electricity in the body. s**t gets real.

I find stimming works really well. I like to vocalize. That's why of course it's most convenient to have meltdowns at home so I can shout into pillows or something or do "twitchy", spastic movements with my muscles to discharge the electricity.

That's how I feel.

Other times my mind freezes and starts going inwards, like a mental hall of mirrors. Sounds melt into each other and become amplified, like if you send sound too loud through a speaker and it becomes distorted. Almost like that. It doesn't sound distorted, but it feels that way.

If I'm in a vulnerable state, a sudden sound can trigger a fight or flight reaction and then a meltdown as I'll panic because I have to stim to discharge energy but usually can't because I'm around people who'd think I'm crazy.

I stay home a lot for this reason and make sure to have alone time breathers between social interaction.

The only things that cause a meltdown is my parents, especially my mother. Several weeks ago, I went to Carson City, Nevada and I had a blast. It felt so liberating and my batteries were so recharged. Knock on wood, when I get my degree, I will be moving there despite of my mothers threats.

I meltdown quite a bit myself. Mine can be quite a sight for others as it often involves breaking s**t and hitting myself. Shutdowns are less prevalent for me personally.

I'm sure you can fall into that as a bad habit. I've tried to pre-determine what triggers them and get myself into a good frame of mind or avoid certain situations if my mind feels particularly fertile for a flip out. I've learned to know myself, how far I can push myself and when. When I find a new line that must be crossed that may cause a flip out, I usually try to prethink the scenarios that can cause me to lose control and logically evaluate them before they happen.

Like for example: For me a big huge one is traffic. If I see a long line of brake lights in front of me I feel a claustrophobic like panic set in immediately. So I visualize the traffic before I leave the house. Really concentrate on putting myself there in my mind in a setting where it's still in reality relaxed. Focus in that negative panic I will get. I more or less try to desensitize myself to what I am about to endure my bombarding myself with it ahead of time in a safe calm place. It has mixed results but helps.

I then try to build on these non-flip outs by kind of not wanting to break the good streak. As in, it's been three straight no flip out drives, gotta make it four. I use my stubbornness and competitiveness to make it sort of a game to myself. Can I beat my personal high score?

I also find personal reward systems work for me. I am typically best motivated when some self-gratification is at the other end of the task. For me I'm a bit of a derelict, so it's usually weed and liquor. Like if I get through this without incident, I'm getting a bottle of something good later and gonna enjoy it. Then when the anger starts to bubble I have somewhere to shift my focus on.

Dont have to be drugs it could be games, buying yourself something, a tasty unhealthy treat meal, whatever makes you stay focused by having something you really like ahead. Kind of lie what you do with kids and animals sometimes.

And also knowing when today is just not the day is helpful too. No shame in putting things off momentarily if possible if you know you're having a real bad day.