Rant about uncomfortable social situtations here

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MS and I flew to Honolulu for the weekend so I could see a better surgeon about my arm. We had arranged for my daughter to pick us up from the airport this afternoon. As we landed, we called her on the cell phone, and found out that she couldn't pick us up because of car problems. So we had to call around to find a ride home from the airport. MS called his niece, who was at the beach, but said she could pick us up and take us home. It took her an hour and a half to pick us up. She had a friend of hers with her. We had to pick up my daughter who was also stranded, so now there were five of us in the car, for a 40 minute drive, my arm was hurting, I was tired from the vicodin, they had the music on in the back speakers, and I was not feeling good. The niece asked how our trip was but then she changed the subject to something else. My daughter asked about my doctor appointment (my biceps tendon is torn into five pieces and I fly back for surgery next week) and nobody said anything. There was like no communication between the two people riding in comfort and chatting up front, and the three of us smushed together in the back seat with bad music blaring. I put my earplugs in and closed my eyes and just wished I were anywhere but in a car with these strangers. I kept thinking - this WILL end - and it did.

But I hate that feeling of being around people and being so uncomfortable I'd do anything to get out of the situation. I think part of the problem for me was huge sensory overload due to airplanes and travel and arm pain and riding in the back of a car.

Anyway, if anybody else wants to talk about social situations that were awkward, here's the place.

You would think the person who offered to pick you up, would have been courteous enough to understand you might not like jarringly loud bass driving straight through your ear drums.

I have trouble trying to explain to parents how having their child near me, causes me sensory overload. It's "You're not a parent you don't know anything!" or "My little angel NEVER acts up", but of course they all do. I find this frusterating, because I know if I wanted to be a mean child hating person, I'd let them sit by me, and take it out on their kids. The fact is I'm doing them a favor, by letting them know before they sit down, I cannot tolerate crying children and it's their choice to sit next to someone, who freely admits if it gets bad enough they will glare down the parent, or tell the kids to shut up. I think at least if the parents know what they are getting into, then it's ok for me to tell them off, because they knew they were walking into a problem.

I also feel if I mention I have auditory sensory issues, they'll assume I have Autism. They will probaly be ignorant, and either talk to me like I'm a 3 year old, or act as if I'm something to be pitied. Or worse try to tell my parents, who I'm usually with, how sorry they feel for them. Like I'm a person, I can hear you, I don't need your pity. If anyone should be pitied it's their children, who have such selfish parents that they can't just say..what the heck, I'll smuggle something to eat into Chuck E Cheese or Discovery Zone. My child will be having a great time, instead of being pestered by people at a resturant to sit still.

This had been brought up again, the other day I went to a resturant and I felt powerless, like if I tried explaining myself to the parents they'd ignore me and act like I was being a bratty child. So I started talking loudly about how I really don't like having brats sit next to me. I don't like having to do that, but it seems these days unless you are a parent, you cannot talk to a parent. It's like some exclusive thing or something, if you're not a parent you are a blithering idiot. Whatever.

violet_yoshi - I know exactly what you mean. I am always afraid to say it because I don't want people to think I'm some evil child-hating monster - I'm not and actually I get on very well with my best friend's 4 year old (who is very well behaved and adoreable!) - it's just the noise that I can't cope with, and that would be the case whether it was a child making the noise or an inanimate object, such as a mobile phone.

I also get frustrated by people who have their phone ringing tone turned up really loud - you are the only person who needs to hear your phone ring - so why do you have to make it so loud that it bugs everyone else?

I get frustrated at people who talk loudly. If you are sitting next to someone you know on public transport, then they are the only person that needs to hear your conversation - why speak so loudly that you disturb others?

I've tried explaining sensory overload to the staff and the complaints department, but they don't take it seriously at all, despite the fact that I emphasize that autism is covered by the Disability Discrimination Act (here in the UK) so by law they should not make things 'unreasonably difficult' for people with disabilities - but as far as staff are concerned, they only care about physical disabilities. If you have a non-physical disability, no-one takes it seriously at all.

I also get frustrated when I can't get a seat for long journeys. I have a permanent health problem (also covered by disability legislation in the UK) which means if I stand for more than a few minutes I may (and often do) collapse. Despite the fact that certain seats on the trains are labelled as being priority disabled seats - and despite the fact that I have checked with staff that I can use these seats because of my health problem - anyone will sit there and will not move for a disabled person - despite the fact that this is the rule. It is just not enforced.

I also get pushed around a lot on public transport, especially the underground - and I have noticed that it is generally men pushing women that is the problem. A couple of weeks ago, I got pushed so hard against the train door that I sustained bruising. Despite the overcrowding, I have not seen many women pushing other women out of the way, or many men pushing other men - so sexism is obviously alive and well! This also happens right infront of staff who do absolutely nothing!!

Every damn one of them. Pain, confusion and fear -- these feelings explain each and every single one adequately.

Aylissa...I'm surprised you didn't put a fork in someone's eye over it to be honest. Hell, I'd have done so. Wish side-effects from painkillers, a screwed arm, a long day and a long plane trip, and being messed around being picked up from the airport...man. You've got strong composure.




And the folks picking you up should have been able to pick the driving volume and style. That's just not cool. At least it's over :/

People know how I drive and what I drive (noisy Subaru with a 12" subwoofer in the boot and a wannabe rally driver as an owner), so they pick their ride carefully. And when I have to take certain people (eg: friend with an 8 month old baby) that all changes. Stereo goes off, nanna-driver-mode goes on. It's really simple, seriously, more people should take note of their passengers...

Yep, a fork in someone's eye will usually convey that they have pushed you over the edge!

Too bad it isn't legal!

IT'S NOT??


Ooops.

Yeah. Legalising of spork-in-eye ftw.




Something that is fun. When people piss me off while I'm driving this thing *points to car in icon to the left* it's pretty easy to get them to shut up. Easier still to scare the living snotcakes out of them into NOT pissing me off again. Recipe is simple...

a) Launch at the traffic lights, lose lots of traction and gain lots of tyre smoke.
b) Gate it into a corner, let off gas, lock hard, stamp on gas, let the back wheels kick out and drift the corner. Impreza snap-oversteer ftw.
c) Floor it down the following onramp, thus pushing them back into the seat so they can't breathe (gimme a month or two and it'll be so loud you can't hear afterward either), and they think you're going to crash into a truck just before you break the sound barrier.
d) Take them through the 'scenic route'...lots of corners to repeat step b) repeatedly in

People tend to shut up when I start driving like a maniac.

Listen, we have a lot of members here...let's start a petition for forks in the eye being legal...

oh to dream

http://bash.org/?4281

Man, need I say more?

Another awkward social situation came up this weekend. People in Honolulu want you to buy stuff...timeshares, overpriced artwork, etc., so we were accosted several times by pushy salespeople as we're walking along. My way of dealing with them is to walk on by and pretend they don't exist. MS wants to stop and chat. Argh. So first I had to look rude as I kept walking and he stops to chat, then try to explain to him how talking with salespeople makes me uncomfortable.

Went to get teeth cleaned today by new dental hygienist. She was one of those really really perky and talkative people that grate on my nerves. I dreaded the experience from the moment I saw her. I wanted to tell her that I was autistic and that incessant perky chatter is annoying but decided that would be socially inappropriate. Fortunately she had her hands in my mouth and I wasn't required to respond!

I agree with you. The best thing is to not even acknowldge they exist. Once you acknowledge them, they try harder.

btw - going off topic - I went to a new dentist recently. She was a young (25?) woman. She leaned over me from behind to replace a filling and in doing so, her breasts rubbed aginst the back of my head. Took my mind away from the drill

I don't mind the denist. But I always think of the Dustin Hoffman movie, Marathon Man. I always think of asking (but never do) "is it safe".