help with the blues....

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there's a first time for everything so here goes...
my problem is with my dad. in as much as i try to love him and be patient with him, i feel that i don't go anywere. he has a temper of a rhino yet he needs us. believe it or not he's the kind of father who says he loves us but never acts appropriately. i do remember when i was five he asked me to close the door when he was but a few steps away from it. and as a child i won't have any idea why it's wrong to answer back (and he does have a knack of picking me to do his dirty works) so i got whacked in my ass. but it didn't stop there. i favored one of my uncles because he was "friendly" (now i know better he's a damn jerk), i told my dad i'll tell him to this uncle of mine and so he whacked me several times. anyway the bottom line is up until now (i'm 26 already) i still feel hurt and angry. in fact the best discription would be stark anger even to a part of his shadow.
i need help

Are you living with your dad? I think it helps if you leave your parents' home and have your own space...

yes i do... i wish i can do just that but houses here are expensive even for rent (that is here in the philippines)

ugh...that must be difficult...I dreadfully need a space of my own...
Does reasoning with your father work? Such as explaining to him that you are not entitled to do his chores and that you would like your own space...etc...

I guess I'm not much of a help...In my case, I resolved my conflict with my parents by leaving home...
There were other difficulties living on my own...but it certainly took care of the conflict...

yeah.. tried that. believe me he'll go on to his tantrums and ranting that we're so lazy and all that crap. we even think he has as like me but sometimes i simply think he just whacked.

Move out.

Get a roommate. Find a slum apartment. Do what I did and join the Navy. Just get out.


You are never going to convince your father that you aren't still an incompetent toddler.


Then find psychological help to get you past your own issues with the man.