had a meltdown last night, and im still cooling...

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All over a span of 24 hours, I've had one meltdown where im bawling, screaming and irrationally striking walls. I have no reason to be so, and im severely confused. I should be on top of the world right now. Just yesterday at about 1326 I got called into my bosses office to be greeted with the news of the century that just about made my month- I got offered perminent part time w/ benefits

however, my boss whom im extremely close to, who constantly understands that i have mild aspergers and im 'quirky' (god bless this woman) came to me with another offer. a 2000 nissan maxima with 104k miles on it, single owner, well maintained, but theres a catch:

ITS AUTOMATIC

I cannot STAND driving an automatic car... i learned since i picked up driving stick im a much more alert driver and theres an engagement that fulfills my stimming. (i love driving it so much i stim like im driving stick ) and i feel like im being guilted by my sister to get it...even thougn 89% of my logic says i should go for it. for the price im getting it for, i can flip it for almost triple what i paid & get something better in manual.

I know its my pride, and the obsessive nature over details that are making me upset, but i genuinely feel auto cars are the reason so many people do not understand the responsibillity of operating an automobile. anyone else think slushboxes (automatic transmission) are the decay of american drivers?? i feel it promotes ignorance and laziness..

Since you're close with this boss, can you carefully and with a friendly manner explain to her that you don't like automatic cars?

When you think of this from the opposite angle, how some people don't like stick shift or have never been able to use it, they would tell the person right away "Oh dear....thanks so much for the offer of the car but....I just can't get along with stick, I prefer automatic, I'm terribly sorry but I wouldn't be happy with that car..."

They would have to say that if the situation were reversed, and they probably would. So by the same token, since you have a strong preference for stick, and since it seems like a close enough relationship that you can confide matters of preference with her as a friend, just explain to her that automatics are not your thing. Of course you will need to cushion this with LOTS of thanks and gratitude, because this is still a very kind offer.

In fact, I'll have it if you don't want it!

I finally settled down after meditating on it, and I was not seeing the silver lining. It has a 222hp 3.5l 6-cylinder engine, its a trade off for the manual transmission, and its roomy to boot.

Thanks BirdInFlight, have a good night/day!