My life and My sister

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Hey everyone, I'm new here.

I'm a young woman on the spectrum, and was diagnosed as such as a teenager. In many ways I've been lucky: I have a very wealthy and loving family. However, my autism/Aspergers has made living very difficult for me. Currently I live with my older sister (2 years older). I love her very much and I know she loves me very much too, but I do sometimes feel like I'm a burden. I have never told her this and I'm sure she wouldn't ever say so to me, but I'm sure it's true. For one, she makes me lock myself in my room now when she has a date over, because she knows I'd ruin it. Once I accidentally left some of my LEGO bricks in the living room (I LOVE playing with LEGO despite my age and gender) and I could hear her date make a comment about it, asking if she had any kids. I knew she was embarrassed.

The biggest problem is this: My sister is an actress (this is not a problem), which causes her to often be away from home for long periods of time (this IS a problem). I get scared when I'm alone, especially at night. Right now, I have a bunk bed so she can sleep in the top bunk when I feel a scary night is coming or I had a bad dream (however, she has also told me I should "get a real bed" because of my age, which gave me anxiety), but she obviously can't sleep in the bed when she's not even home! Sometimes I'm allowed to come on set but usually I'm not. I also often get confused when I see her in movies and something bad happens to her or she does something bad.

She's basically my "handler" and I'm lost without her in many ways. I often mistake my own reflection for home invaders. Usually she explains to me that it was just the bathroom mirror/a window, but, again, when she's not home she can't do that. Calling her up in the middle of the night while she's working to tell her there's a strange woman that looks exactly like me (...) in the house feels so stupid. I get anxiety from a lot of silly things (commercials suddenly coming on on television, the sounds certain foods make, etc.) and when she's not home I feel so small and alone in the dark (I often forget to turn the lights on in time and will be lost in darkness). We also often have miscommunication. For example, recently my sister's suggested we were going out to eat. I took some nice food with me, expecting her to do the same. However, when we got to where she wanted to go it turned out we were going to a restaurant and I took my food with me for no reason at all. She didn't get mad, but I'm sure she thinks I'm just an idiot.

This year, for the first time, I let my sister go to an NYE party while I stayed home alone and played with LEGO and watched a movie. I lost track of time and when the fireworks started I got spooked and had to call her to comfort me. I'm such a mess. When I know she's getting home I spend the entire day peeking through the curtains to see if she's coming home already and when I finally see her on the driveway I sometimes nearly wet my panties.

I really don't know what to do. I feel like I'm a burden on my amazing sister's life, and I don't want her to give up everything just to take care of her little sister that can't function on her own. We've tried getting a special counselor, but those just make me uncomfortable.

If anybody has ever been in a similar situation, please tell me. I love any help I can get.

I feel your pain. My mommy exploded at me one day when she had a man friend over and i come downstairs because i was hungry and wanted chicken tendies

It's okay to be different. That's why we're here right?

Sounds like you're a LITTLE loopy



.....you might wanna get "checked" again....just make sure it isn't one of those prenup doctors. (not that I would know !)

signed,
TheChamCham

When people bring a date over they want to be alone so it isn't awkward, it has nothing to do with you as a person.. this is true for anyone who's ever had roommates of any functioning level, ever.