How can I tell what I'm feeling?

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Hi

I'm new here. I'm having issue in my relationship which stem from not knowing how I'm feeling. So I'm about to start a 'feelings journal' to try to get used to a) thinking about what I'm feeling and b) identifying emotions.

I want to start it now but realise that I genuinely have no idea what I'm feeling right now. My default would be to say 'fine' but I don't think that's what I'm supposed to be doing. I know it's supposed to be a feeling in the body, but I don't understand how to identify and translate that into words. It's fine when they are extreme emotions. Does anyone understand this and could perhaps help?

Thanks

I have trouble interpreting my feelings on a good day. My wife often helps me with this - for example she'll say: "you seem upset, is there thing bothering you...?".

Perhaps there someone in your life that you trust that you can use as your emotional sounding-board.

Thanks. Yeah, my girlfriend will sometimes do the same. It's difficult when it is feelings to do with our relationship though as I get confused. I can sometimes chat with a close friend too. It's hard to connect thoughts and feelings.

Start by realizing that at any given moment you are experiencing some sort of emotion. Find tables of emotion words. Take a dbt course. Take like 3 times a day, scheduled, to take a minute and think about what you might be feeling. Write down physical body sensations. Write down events you are thinking of. Look at tables of emotions-most emotions are subtypes of 5ish base ones: fear, happy, sad, anger, guilt. It takes time to recognize these things.

Do you understand what emotions other people feel in certain situations? Like if you note that someone is angry, can you figure out why that might be? Can you empathize at all with them?


I am -explicitly- taking a course in the new year about emotions recognition and processing. PM me, if you would like I could share information, handouts, etc. That I get from it with you.

Thanks for your reply. I will PM you as I would love any info you get.
I have printed off a table of emotions, and found it useful to try to identify them.
I think I can empathise - I'll cry at a sad movie etc, because I know how I would feel in the character's situation. However, I cannot imagine how someone else is feeling unless it's identical to how I would feel. I don't think anyone can truly do that even if they believe they can, how would that be possible? At best you can have a good guess, right?

There's a word for this: alexithymia. It's an inability to identify and put names to your own emotions. Your explorations with your feelings journal will be interesting and valuable to you, if only to show you how different your own emotions are from the neurotypical people around you. And yes, you can treat other people as you would wish to be treated, but if they are totally different from you on the inside you are not going to treat them the way they would like. It's very hard to follow the Golden Rule as an autistic.

Thank you, I'll look into that more, good to have a word for it.

Wow, yeah. That's definitely me.