I am just very sad

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Sure, I do think of suicide but cannot embark on it. However, nothing gives me joy any longer. I have a wife and two kids and yet I find no happiness. I've been in a very bad financial situation since over 10 years and the more I try to make things better, the worse it gets. I am tired of life and wish death could just come on its own because I never wanted to take my life. I sometimes feel I should sleep and never wake up again. I am just very sad

I very sorry you feel this way, if thoughts to harm yourself do appear or get worse please get help. I don't know that it would help your financial situation but its always ok to get help. I would say talk to some financial advisors and try and get some kinda of game plan financially. Also your profile doesn't say if you are diagnosed with autism or aspergers or if you suspect you have a problem in this area or not. However, its important you get some kinda support in this area too, is your wife supportive?

I don't really know what else to say but keep your head up and know you are not alone. I have been suffering financially too lately but I am beginning to come out of the hole I was in. There will be good times and bad times financially, don't let it get you down.

Hi
Perhaps you are suffering from depression?
It can be quite difficult to disentangle difficult circumstances from possible brain chemistry issues.
I know I struggled with very tough financial problems for the past 15 years. Only in the past year are they beginning to improve. Still a long way to go though.
I have had days where I thought I could really not face it any more. The thought of still being unable to afford basic things for my kids for years seemed too depressing to bear. I just felt so tired of it.
But sometimes I found resolve and hope, at least for a while.
I found that circumstances did not always dictate the mood I was in. Often there was not a clear link between a more difficult situation and more deep depression. Sometimes my mood would change a lot but the actual degree of debt was exactly the same.
For me, times when I felt closer to my husband made me happy and able to cope. I found physical affection was very good for my state of mind.
At the moment, I feel so angry and depressed because my husband has barely laid a finger on me for so many weeks, that all I want to do is kill him. He abandons me like that quite often. I have explained to him how bad it for me when he does that. Even a hug can make a huge difference. He does not understand, so I have decided that I no longer want this marriage. I feel alone, so I may as well be alone. I have nothing to gain from doing his stinky laundry if I am to feel alone anyway.
I digress.
Or do I?
Your wife is probably also suffering from your feelings. I hope you talk to her, or at least to someone, about this. Things can get worse. Do not use that as a reason to get more sad. Use that as motivation to try to change things.
If you like, I would be happy to be your friend as someone to chat with. I could certainly use more friends myself. I do feel full of hate because of my husband, and am trying to find different things to focus on so my life does not feel so empty. Maybe if I could find positive things to do, I would not obsess about how much he lets me down. I do not want my moods to depend on his weaknesses.
For example I did some volunteering for charity recently. It was fun. I made a good friend at work by opening up and being my difficult self. Turns out he is odd too, so we became friends - something that rarely happens to me. And I am trying to establish secondary income streams for myself that not only will help get me out of debt faster without risking my job, but will involve me doing things I really like and should be good at.
You can try different things, but please also see if there might be some medical thing going on.
Maybe you can talk about your efforts with me, just to get an outsiders opinion on things. I am happy to do that if you like.

I hope you feel better.

You're the first person I've seen here from SubSaharan Africa. Welcome!

The only thing you can do about your finances is to try to put them in a better state. I'm in debt, too.

What are your bankruptcy laws like? Does going bankrupt cause social stigma?

As a last resort, many people declare bankruptcy in the US.

It's not something I would take lightly.....but could be a possibility should all else fails.