Are you capable of telling youself not to feel a certain way

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Are you capable of telling yourself not to feel a certain way?
yes 41%  41%  [ 11 ]
no 48%  48%  [ 13 ]
other 11%  11%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 27

MsTriste
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16 Apr 2007, 3:23 pm

Are you capable of telling yourself not to feel a certain way?

For instance, if you're feeling like another person doesn't like you, can you choose to let that thought and its associated feelings go, and ignore it?

Or is it impossible for you to not feel and think the way you do?



WriterWithoutWords
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16 Apr 2007, 3:45 pm

Depends on the thought. The thought that a person I liked/would have to be near a long time didn't like me would be hard to ignore. On the other hand, I've getting better with the thought that someone canceled on perpose (which may be the same thing you said), and I can completely shut down the thoughts and feelings that say someone is unjustly angry at me, gather up my pride and accept tha blame. Then again, we have feelings for a reason, and it's not always good to ignore them.



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16 Apr 2007, 3:59 pm

I can't do that
I try, but it never seems to work
Maybe I'll be able to with practice



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16 Apr 2007, 5:31 pm

I can change what I'm thinking about, but the worry often remains if I'm troubled.


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ahayes
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16 Apr 2007, 5:36 pm

I'm capable of telling myself sure, but I am incapable of doing and I'm just lying to myself. It's much easier for me to confront problems and fix them than to go through the futile process of changing how I feel about them. I mean, if somebody jabs you with a cattle prod do you really think you could ever learn to not mind it?



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16 Apr 2007, 5:52 pm

aylissa wrote:
Are you capable of telling yourself not to feel a certain way?
For instance, if you're feeling like another person doesn't like you, can you choose to let that thought and its associated feelings go, and ignore it?
Or is it impossible for you to not feel and think the way you do?


You can do this by using your "mental eye", in one of two ways:
(1) You can "zoom out", and look at how the situation fits into your life, the world, the universe and beyond. You will then probably find that the situation isn't as important as you initially felt it was. If it's still important (for instance because you're head over heels in love with a person you think doesn't like you, and your happiness is truly at stake), then you should make work of the situation (for instance by doing something nice for the person, and seeing how s/he responds).
(2) You can "zoom in", and imagine all possible outcomes of the situation (e.g. a person not liking you). What's the worst that could happen, realistically? Is that really something that would make you unhappy for a long time? Conversely, also imagine all possible outcomes of the opposite of the situation (e.g. the person likes you a lot, you might be wrong). Would those outcomes really make you substantially happier than you are now, or would there be complications you didn't think of before, and if so, what are those possible complications (all of them)?


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cruimh_shionnachain
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16 Apr 2007, 5:54 pm

I've managed to keep myself from developing feelings of a romantic nature towards anyone since 7th grade.


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Sopho
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16 Apr 2007, 5:57 pm

cellogirl42 wrote:
I've managed to keep myself from developing feelings of a romantic nature towards anyone since 7th grade.

How do you do that? I can't do it :(
I'm quite weak when it comes to things like that though



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16 Apr 2007, 6:45 pm

I can't feel Hatred. I can't feel true evil burning hatred. I don't get it. It doesn't register. I can Not Like someone sure, but hate? Can't do it. I lose my tempter sure, get angry with people, but Hate isn't on my vocabulary.


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cruimh_shionnachain
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16 Apr 2007, 6:47 pm

Sopho_soph wrote:
cellogirl42 wrote:
I've managed to keep myself from developing feelings of a romantic nature towards anyone since 7th grade.

How do you do that? I can't do it :(
I'm quite weak when it comes to things like that though


I'm not quite sure; I avoid thinking about male classmates that way, that's all.
I wish I was able to actually communicate that I like someone or not. They never have any idea...
*sigh*


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hyperbolic
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16 Apr 2007, 6:49 pm

No, but I am learning.



Tim_Tex
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16 Apr 2007, 6:54 pm

Not capable here.

Tim


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16 Apr 2007, 7:10 pm

Nope. If something is bothering me -- even when *intellectually* I know it may be a non-issue, something silly like an offhand comment someone makes that gets under my skin, I can't stop fretting over it. Also, if a situation doesn't go the way I thought it would, I drive myself nuts wondering over why it went the opposite way, how I could've changed the outcome.



MsTriste
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16 Apr 2007, 8:24 pm

Just wanted to clarify - I asked this because I keep hearing (mostly NT's) say things like:

It's all in your head
Just stop thinking about it
Don't let it bother you
Just let it go

Stuff like that. I can't. I have a brain that's like an old record, with one groove, and when the needle settles in the groove, it stays there till the album is over. There's no mechanism to get out of the thought. Just wondered if others are capable of this.



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16 Apr 2007, 8:34 pm

Only after the fact. If I'm put in a situation where I'll never have to deal with something again, my mind will lessen focus on it eventually, although I used to carry grudges more often. I can't, say, get over someone that I like when I see them just about every day.


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RainSong
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16 Apr 2007, 9:04 pm

I can talk myself out of my emotions quite frequently, simply by questioning them. What is anger, really? How do I know I'm angry? Am I just trying to fool myself? ect. I'm not sure that I've ever really had feelings, and so I can usually convince myself that I'm just play acting again.

As for others' emotions towards me...no, I can't let those go. Those will bother me for months, if not years, until I simply forget about them (invariably they'll resurface eventually, but if the break is long enough, I can question those too).

If I want to put something out of my mind, I refuse to let myself concentrate on it. I'll do thought-consuming tasks (or, if it's not that bothersome, stupid but kind of fun tasks). I've found that most others can't/don't do this...but then again, I also dissassociate from reality, so that might be why.


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