How to say No

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I don't know how many times I've told my parents. I've been hitting myself in secret. I'm on the edge, again.

I'm trying to hold in a meltdown, I say to my parents, "Leave me alone." They keep asking why, and keep NAGGING NAGGING NAGGING NAGGING at me. I keep saying "Stop it", crying. They keep on, and on. BOOM. I explode and destroy one of my things out of anger BECAUSE I'M ON THE EDGE.

It's like bullies verbally going SMACK, "Stop hitting yourself". SMACK, "Stop hitting yourself.

I try to explain AGAIN that NO MEANS NO MEANS NO MEANS NO.

THEY. NEVER. EVER. F*CKING. EVER. LISTEN.

What do they think they're going to achieve by ASKING ME QUESTIONS OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

"We didn't realise" "What have we done wrong?" "Why?"

THEY REPEAT THEMSELVES ALL THE TIME AND I WANT THEM TO STOP IT.

I sob at them "no". I raise my voice, "no". I shout and scream at them "NO" "I SAID STOP IT" *Screaming* "LEAVE ME ALONE".

ARE THEY TRYING TO KILL ME???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I NEED ANYONE to explain to my parents what they are doing wrong.

I don't know how to tell them. I've told them until I'm at my wit's end. They're either incredibly f*****g moronic, evil, or they have no idea and believe that turning my WHOLE WORLD upside down, scrambling it up and destroying everything with a nuclear bomb is the answer. THEY LIKE DOING THAT.

Or, they could accept "no" and move on.

PLEASE HELP ME.

because 'leave me alone' is NT speak for 'I don't want to talk about it, therefore leave me alone', whereas when you say it, you are only implying but not outright saying 'That you are talking to me is part of the problem, therefore leave me alone'
And they keep on at it asking you assuming the first thing, but then seeing how upset you are getting, they keep trying to figure out what the problem is so that they can remedy it.

Meltdowns sometimes seem unavoidable though anyways

Some people just don't understand how questions can be stressful.

My dad is like this, he will nag and look for fights. He is a jerk, that is just the type of person he is. I will say "leave me alone" calmly the first few times with each time progressively louder than the next, eventually I will yell and tell him to shut the f**k up or f**k off and leave me the f**k alone. I will make sure to NOT answer his questions and simply repeat "leave me alone". If he attempts to insult me, I will be more than welcome to insult him back though, but I will wait for him to do so first.

I have found that keeping information on a need-to-know basis from him works best. That way I can avoid the stupid conversation all together.

This sounds familiar.

My boyfriend will keep coming at me like this all the time. I'll see that I need to walk away from the situation to avoid a meltdown, but he'll come after me. It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain it, he continues to do it.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this kind of behavior from them. I wish I had some good advice for you.

It is hard to know what to make of an autistic offspring's behavior.

Enlist a family member to go to therapy with you or read a book on autism. Try to educate the whole group of your family members. Maybe they could go to a family of autistic person support group, where they will undoubtedly learn a lot about the disorder.

I think that the way you behave seems to provoke more intrusiveness, Smudge. They see you are in distress but instead of understanding they should back off, they try to become more involved. This will not be solved overnight. But I can say that in some ways, I see myself with my daughter in the picture you paint of concerned-but-clueless parents and adult offspring. And over time I did learn better ways of interacting with her that feel helpful, not evil, to her.

Maybe my first recommendation is to try to explain what you need when you are not on the edge, when your ability to communicate should be greater.