Kept NO friends after high school, sucky life.

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I AM POSTING IN PARTS, please wait until I am finished.

It's long, but if you manage to read it all or skim it all, you sir/madam are a saint.

I've kept no friends from high school, as nobody seems to want nothing to do with me.

I didn;t struggle to have a decent amount of friends and acquiantances in high school - I didn't hang out with any of them outside of school yet, but we still all enjoyed our time together and I thought thwse people liked me.

So much lost opportunity... I tried getting to know all of them better, I wanted to, but as an outsider to the group, I couldnt qite build that connection and fit in with the others as everyone else did.

There was this one guy who joined the group AFTER me, but is still a part of it to this day - it helps his girlfriend (and my former friend) was a part of it.

I feel like I must have done something wrong. I was aggressive back in high school a bit but generally tried to treat others, especially friends, the best I could.

But there was this one very bad, awful rant I made here on WP, and I think that's what caused some of my friend's to not be speaking to me anymore. It was very, verty bad and spoke so lowly of them, 99% of people wouldn't want to be friends anymore after reading it.

Thought it's very unlkely they did discover it.

Otherwise, I'm completely stumped on what happened.

There was a good female friend I spoke to, she was a great friend, and promised to keep in contact with me. I may have been a bit too aggressiveemotionally at times but of course I never treated her poorly, never insulted her or anything of course, just sometimes I'd get so angry over certain things I'd scare her and the other people around me that's all, but I could quickly realize my errors, apologize, and recover and go back to being normal again.

But I never physically or verbally inslulted or hurt anyone directly, I just sometimes got a tad too angry over issues, that's all.

No conflict, just a bit of anger management to deal with frustration/stress, as I did have a stressful year of many ups and downs (heatrbreak, bullying, etc.)

Anyway, even she isn't interested after I reached out to her and all the others, and on top of that her boyfriend appears to have blocked me, even thought I made no attempt s over facebook or anything to contact him at all.

Now they are all still together the group, all ove facebook they have photos of them together, celbrating birthday parties, they're all going to the same university, laughing, playing, enjoying life while I'm left out .

What's worse of all, is it's hard to meet new people. I live in a very boring, small city with almost nothing to do for anyone, and nothing for my interests.

This is the kind of city best to live in when you arelady have friends to hang out with.

For so long since graduation I've been feeling depression and delving into self-pity.

I want to stop this.

I talk positively of myself, my achievements, and have hpe for the future everyday, telling myself 'you're life has only just begun' and 'even if you're not attending university yet, you're doing othet things in your life right now and focusing on other things' and 'life's a learning process, I can learn to be anyone I ant to do, do what i want to do, I have plenty time to overcome my social anxiety of being out in public/agoraphobia, plenty of time to grow up'.

I am taking charge in life and everyday try to find or think of interesting things to do in this city or possible ways to meet new people.

But it's all been so futile, and day-in, day-out it's very quiet and lonely.

My family is aiming to move to the coast, we'll be closer to friends and family, but we can't right now and we're stuck in this sh*thole. If only I moved, and were closer to the big city (capita of the state) than this cr*phole - crime rate is high hear, people are generally very rude and unfriendly.

It's not even worth trying to meet nw people here really, most of the women and men wouldn't be good as we have high drug rates, alcohol rates, crime rates, STD rates, young pregnancy rates, etc.

I’m working hard, but still generally depressed.

I workout nearly every day, I eat extremely healthy, I meditate occasionally, I drink tea all the time and use aromatherapy, I volunteer two days a week, the most I can mentally/emotionally handle, I get at least 8 to 9 and a half hours of sleep every night, I do spend time on my hobbies and interests, I feel proud of the music I create and that I’ve made the time and effort to start developing skill in it, I hang out with family at home plenty...I've saved up decent money, I keep my room clean, take care of my hygiene, and generally feel confident and happy most days.

It’s just this crippling loneliness, forever haunting me.

It IS the one and single source of my unhappiness - an unhealthily low amount of social interaction and pleasure in life.

In short: Somebody help me...

I CAN'T F*CKING POST BECAUSE OF CAPTCHA!! !! MAKES ME EVEN MORE PISSED I CAN'T REACH OUT FOR HELP IN MY LIFE WHEN I NEED IT!! !! !! !! ! THIS IS PATHETIC!! !

I’m done...

I don't have any good advice, just a <<hug>> for you.

You're doing lots of positive things. The friends will come.

Why won't you go to University? Seems like your old friends are doing just that. They make friends amongst university students, not those who are taking a break from schooling.

You will make friends when you go to college/university.

Reasons...

Family is wanting to move within the next 6 months, as do I. Affordable and reasonable-sized houses are never available, unfortunately.

The university here does not have what I want.

I'm not sure what I want to do yet, and want to earn some money and stability (e.g. be moved out) before starting. I want to take alternative courses of education (first aid class, language classes, learning instrument, etc.)

My former friends from high school are at this university, a lot of them, and I want to get away from those f*ckers instead of observing their continued happy social live's from afar. 90% of 'the group' have managed to stick together the first couple of weeks of university.

Just to feel better about myself I'm hoping university will separate them.

University luckily won't be a financial issue for me, thanks to affirmative action - Indigenous Australians can study for free or other alternatives to the traditional '$50,000' for a degree or whatever.

"Na-ah. You might make friends, it's not absolute. I know I haven't."

I'm going to be optimistic that I will. These couple of years off from studying will be used to increase my social skills further and further.

One thing I've been wanting to do, is ask university students their experiences, and how the first couple of days/weeks/months/semester/year went for them socially.

I want to know what to look out for, I want a plan of action. I can't just be natural on the first day as probably nothing may happen.

But if I have some strategy and tact, and really try and put myself out there and introduce myself to others during first semester/year, I should do alright.

So, this is where you come in handy Sabreclaw: All the details of your college/university experiences. Were/are you on-campus (dormitory) or off-campus? In college, people focus far more on the lectures and lessons more, so when do your classmates find time to socialize? Do they sometimes talk in class (socially, not work-related), did some just decide to meet-up after class, is the key to join many different groups? etc.

I've heard its so much harder off-campus, which unfortunately may be the case for me.

Should have said this earlier, but Australian universities are far more academically focused and most have very few clubs/groups, but there's still some.

Luckily the actual city the one I want to go to is the capital of the state, and there's other Meetup.com groups and such.

And, good news is, it's a 'creative media institute' and focuses specifically on Film&Media, Game creation, Design/Art, Sound Production, etc. so it would probably be a good place to meet the artistic/gadget whiz crowd. And it looks like the course I'm doing may have smaller class sizes than big, making it a bit more comfier than some big anonymous thing.

OP where in Australia are you from? feel free to send a Private Message to me if you prefer.