VLDASD mistakes that I made.

Post Reply New Topic

According to Philip Wylie in his book Very Late Diagnosis Autism Spectrum Disorder those who fit in this category shouldn't really be in charge of making all their own choices. I have found this to be true through personal experience. About 1.5 years after I was diagnosed I started to receive help from the Disability Services Office at U.C. I started to improve my life ten fold. But there were hidden things I was doing wrong that to me did not seem like a big deal which did add up over the course of about 10 years. I was so eager to please society and show the world what a great star I am that I did not take any sort of leisure time for myself on a weekly basis to rest, relax and recharge my batteries. I put myself on a long term course that is difficult for most people to do but I did it. The problem is after I graduated I was poor and still in a job position which I hated. I needed sexual and intimate relationships but the environment/culture that I was living in is not conducive to such activities for anybody. The downtown area is more conducive to what I need in that realm but the problem is that I am so tired from work that I really don't have the energy to go down there and enjoy myself.


Deep down people know what is best for themselves, but situation depending it is hard to reach what will make you a mentally well adjusted individual. In this economy it is hard for most. This is why most people give up on their dreams. I had a lot of propaganda telling me that I can be the best. But all the while I didn't stop to ask myself if having lofty goals was the right thing for ME to have. I graduated college with a 2.874 GPA. Now if I would've been diagnosed earlier in life, say, while in high school, my GPA would've more than likely been 3.3 or maybe even 3.5. I mean, I actually thought that I could make it into the United Nations. I've started to realize that is not a realistic goal for me.......at 36........currently working as a janitor.....yeah I know

Whatever problems that a person is having in their home life will get magnified at work. About two weeks ago I was called up to the manager's office and told that I have two weeks to, "snap out of it" or I would face further disciplinary action up to and including termination....So that DID help me pull my out of the clouds and into the here and now....I also started doing things on my days off which would help me clear my head up. Going to the movies, gong to the aquarium, these things have started to help. And I think my improvement is getting noticed at work......But I'm not out of the woods yet......

The area that I am living in is great for an individual who has a messed up life and is serious about cleaning it up. It is also designed for people who are looking to raise kids. As I said before it was great for a few years but after a while I should have moved first.

Now, yesterday I visited with my Autism coach who told me that it would be in my interest to start looking for apartments that are in my price range. I am going to do that today. This will probably help to put me at ease and make me a little happier when I return to work tomorrow. He also informed me that it takes people years to get into a job position they love...He gave me an example of his wife who is NOT on the spectrum and how it took her a number of years to get into a job position she loves. Now this is where things get interesting, I think. I knew on some level that getting a job position that I love could take a very long time but hearing it from someone who I from a psychological standpoint am starting to consider an authority figure makes it sink in a little deeper right now as I type this.


Now I'm starting to think, ok I really need the coaching and again I say coaching to help me get where I want to go. It could take me a long time, I don't know.


I have years of therapy and rehabilitative training in addition to the coaching that I will need to go through to get myself to the point where I need to be I suppose. Twenty six years of parental abuse at the hands of my undiagnosed mother have taken their toll on me......At this point I can't really blame her for what she did, well I do but the reasons behind it were not her fault.