My boyfriend's daughter is going to be staying with us

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My boyfriend's daughter has just come out of a marriage she got unhappy with, and is temporarily staying at my boyfriend's flat until she finds a new place, starting this week, but it could be months until she gets somewhere.

Don't get me wrong, she is a nice young lady, but she is a very extraverted NT, and spends a lot of time talking to friends on her phone. I figured she is quite noisy, leaves doors open, leaves a mess, while me and my boyfriend are rather quiet, on each other's wavelength, and don't really disturb each other when one of us wants to quietly settle down and watch TV or take a nap or have an early night.

But I can't say no, because it is his daughter, and it is not my flat, and I can't be mean and unwelcome her. So I've just got to pretend to be happy that she's there, and welcome her, and secretly hope that she will find a new flat very soon.

It's just that me and my boyfriend are rather intimate with each other, we share secrets, and just act ourselves. It's so nice being alone together. Now his daughter's going to be there, it won't be quite the same. I only stay round his twice a week, and I want to spend those times alone with him, cooking dinner for two, running each other a bath, having sex, etc. The rest of my time is taken up with work.

I know I sound rather selfish, but it's just the way I feel.

You know what, Joe. I would feel the same way.

I really feel for you. I wouldn't want to have my wife's relative all of a sudden come live with me.

She's your boyfriend's daughter--and he can't refuse her (unless she's the type that gets into trouble).

Do you two know each other well? If so, maybe you could tell her that you would like "private time" with your boyfriend sometimes. I think most adults would understand that need.

How old is your bf 0.o

I was about to say the same thing that Kraftiekortie did, before I even read his. Ask the daughter if she could occasionally stay at a friend's house on a Thursday (or whatever your usual stay-over day is); I bet she could, and it would even push her to be a little more independent.

You don't have to be a silent victim of the situation. It's okay to tell her you and your bf (her dad) like to have some private time.

How's the smoking issue going?

One of my hardest things ever is being honest with people. But my boyfriend likes intimacy too, so maybe he might politely tell her that we need time together alone.

And yes my boyfriend is 20 years older than me. Why do people sssume that just because I'm 25 my boyfriend has to be in that age range too?

I completely get it it's your time and she is intruding maybe have a word and see if it can be arranged so you do get your alone time, surely she will want to go out? he could just hint the day she should and to be honest I think he might anyway as he will be losing the quite time you have and will want that as well. Don't let it stress your relationship though sounds like you got a good thing going.

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My advice, rely your concerns to your bf, get it through to him how you feel, the concerns you discussed in this thread and have your bf deal with his daughter. I wouldn't deal directly with his daughter, but instead leave that to your bf to do. Ask your bf to say that this is coming from either him or both of you, not just tell his daughter that its you alone complaining. That would avoid any awkwardness that way.