bad day

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ok, so I went to see my counsellor today, and we talked about how I am having trouble with my jazz studies...we determined that this is probably because I don't know "the rules"...I can see what other people in my ensemble are doing, but i have no idea what ::i:: should be doing...playing harmony, doing a rhythmic thing, etc. The counsellor suggested that I talk to my jazz profs, and explain that it really helps me to have a rules-based envirnment. So, after an awful rehearsal (I was so confused!) I tried to talk to the prof. But he was leaving really quickly, and in order to catch him, I had to talk to him while the other students were in the room...I got nervous, and kinda awkwardly blurted that I have AS, and tried to explain that I needed "to know the rules". I was uncomfortable, he was uncomfortable, and now I feel like a complete idiot. Especially because the other students were there.

To make things worse, I had a duet coaching right after. My viola prof (not the same as my jazz prof) loves this "Tuning cd." It's basically an electronic drone, with all of the overtones. It's awful. AWFUL! I have really severe seneory issues, and I've tried to explain how I can't hadle this cd, how it makes me really upset...but he doesn't seem to understand. He put it on today...I tried to deal with it, but after a minute (close to meltdown) I asked him to please PLEASE turn it off. And he just kinda stared at me! like I was lying, or crazy, or even worse, a bad student! How do I make him understand??! !

Now that is a bad day. First, you are trying to hard. Perfection is not good enough for you. There is structure in the classics but Jazz is winging it, you either get it or not.

A Professor of Music is the last person to ask. Another aspie disaster, what makes you think he knows the rules. Triple wammy, you ask for something he does not know, as he is leaving, in front of other students, and then bring up you are Anglo Saxon.

Only three people have understood AS, two are dead and the other has taken a vow of silence.

He was on his way to see his counseller. He is sure he did something wrong. How and why do you think people become Professors of Music? Because they do not get it, and cannot make the step up to perform. Many have talent, but being on stage before many, with critical ears, is more than they can take.

As for Jazz, on days when you feel the harmony do that, and when it's the rhythm go with it. Listen to Lisa Simpson playing with Bleeding Gums Murphy. I also like Miles Davis. Here in New Orleans Jazz is played in the streets, while walking, and changes when a cloud passes over, or two well dressed church ladies walk by. It is a reflection of life now.

AS for that lazy stupid son of a b***h with his electronic tuning CD, it will not be there when you are performing, but a tuning fork fits in your case, and will always be your friend, but only for final testing, and quitely. Great music is a stately art, and he should teach Hip Hop. Bring your boombox playing Gansta rap.

Detune you viola, get way out, get worse, and when he says something say you cannot hear him, make him repete himself. Tell him you have perfect pitch and that CD is off key. Maybe he needs new batteries.

Make up stories, how can ears hear two tones, one will mask the other. The problem is you are trying to do it right with that dumb noise going on, if you are not trying, if you are messing with his ears, telling him you are in tune when you are not, change will have to come. When he turns it off you then can tell you are off, and can fix it, something has to give and he is being paid to teach not play CDs.

Total failure has a way of bringing attention, on him. If he is making the music worse, he is not going to be a teacher for long. Someone is paying, someone is being paid, and they are not worth it. First the CD, then little stepper motors on the pegs, then the CNC fingering and bow. Computers can do it, but they have no soul. The magic is in ears, hearts, and wood, it is a joy no machine will ever know. Nor will that Professor.

Perhaps it was growing up in New Orleans, but I never fail to tell the differance between recorded and live, one I avoid, one draws me. This man should work in a record store, used scratched vynal. Whisper, make him think he is going deaf.

Sometimes before you can cook you have to clean up. This would never happen at Julliard.

I'm sorry to hear about your day. I hope that things improve with time.

Thanks...my prof didn't yell at me today for not using the stupid cd (STUPID CD!!), so that was nice. maybe he forgot.