Life!!

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Joined: 18 Nov 2014
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25 Apr 2016, 7:29 pm

I HATE being an adult all the time! Right now I'm freaking out sooo much, I REALLY CAN'T handle things & certain people right now, I feel like I'm on brain overload, I'm going break into a million pieces. It's sooo hard being alone & lonely in your town. Why it is when life gets toooo hard, I want to take the easy way out & die. At least something good happening, it's raining.

Jacoby
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25 Apr 2016, 7:31 pm

I feel you, I wish I could just be a child again. There hasn't been anything good about being an adult on my end.

kraftiekortie
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25 Apr 2016, 7:40 pm

Oh Kitty! I don't want you to go away!

Things will get better.

It's supposed to rain tomorrow in NYC.

sly279
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25 Apr 2016, 11:48 pm

Jacoby wrote:

I feel you, I wish I could just be a child again. There hasn't been anything good about being an adult on my end.

Indeed. Last time I was truly happy most the time was highschool

aspieinaz
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26 Apr 2016, 1:20 am

Hi Kitty, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make things better for you, but I can't. But I did want to give you a (((HUG))) and let you know I care about what you are going through.

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Kiprobalhato
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26 Apr 2016, 2:25 am

sly279 wrote:

Jacoby wrote:

I feel you, I wish I could just be a child again. There hasn't been anything good about being an adult on my end.

Indeed. Last time I was truly happy most the time was highschool

freshman year and sophomore year were pretty good. super.

adulthood is not glamorous, i see now

discoverign that i am indeed noatalgic for shildhood despite tellimg myself i would never, ever feel that.

rain is awesome. :heart:

there was a hint of a trace of a tease of a sprinkle, earlier today. there's a word for the scent of rain hitting a parched earth: petrichor.

Quote:

The term was coined in 1964 by two CSIRO researchers, Isabel Joy Bear (Australian) and Roderick G. Thomas (British), for an article in the journal Nature.[1][2] In the article, the authors describe how the smell derives from an oil exuded by certain plants during dry periods, whereupon it is absorbed by clay-based soils and rocks. During rain, the oil is released into the air along with another compound, geosmin, a metabolic by-product of certain Actinobacteria, which is emitted by wet soil, producing the distinctive scent; ozone may also be present if there is lightning.[3] In a follow-up paper, Bear and Thomas (1965) showed that the oil ret*ds seed germination and early plant growth.[4] This would indicate that the plants exude the oil in order to safeguard the seeds from germination under duress.

lots of people here and elsewhere share the sentiment. my town can have 20 poeple in it or push a million, but i'll know very few nonetheless.

hold on tight. :cat:

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kraftiekortie
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26 Apr 2016, 1:30 pm

I had a rather unhappy childhood. I don't wax nostalgic for it at all.

My main ambition as a kid was for me to be an adult.

slenkar
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26 Apr 2016, 4:29 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I had a rather unhappy childhood. I don't wax nostalgic for it at all.

My main ambition as a kid was for me to be an adult.

Bullies?

I liked childhood because school was like a job you can't be fired from,where you have friends and a purpose.
Ever since school I've just had failure and not known what to do.

kraftiekortie
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26 Apr 2016, 5:07 pm

Yep.....bullies, but not really severely, from an objective standpoint.

I always wanted to do my own thing as a child--and adults wouldn't let me. I was bound by this rule and that.

I had only one friend; and I lost him to the other kids who weren't intellectual types. I was a reading the encyclopedia type.

I couldn't wait to get out of childhood!

slenkar
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26 Apr 2016, 9:15 pm

I was bullied, but having a good friend made up for it.

sly279
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26 Apr 2016, 11:54 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I was physically,mentally and emotionally bullied, and yet in comparison those were my happy years. Suppose that says a lot

Kiprobalhato
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27 Apr 2016, 3:18 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

actually neither could i.

i was let alone thankfully rather than bullied but i made no real relationships. only one person from that time hasn't dropped off the face of the earth completely, and i rarely see him anyway.

i was doodling in class, reading the encyclopedia, getting up to loudly sharpen the pencil during a test kind. loud and "random" in other words, easy to make fun of. but if they did, they managed to keep it well hidden or i was just oblivious to them using me as something to get a laugh from.

i very much appreciate the freedom i have now that i didn't then, but i haven't done anything meaningful with it yet

i just wish the years were longer like they were then.

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הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
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וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.

Jacoby
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27 Apr 2016, 3:25 am

Thinking about the bad things in childhood just makes me angry, I don't say 'thank god, I'm not a child anymore and don't have to experience that' but rather why did I have to deal with that bullcrap in the first place? You can't divorce yourself from your childhood, no matter what, it's fingerprints are all over my current predicament. I wish I could of grown up in a normal place and went to normal schools and had normal peers, maybe my life would be different if the most successful people I knew from my peer group grew up weren't criminals.

esoterica181
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02 May 2016, 10:59 pm

It is so hard being an adult - it is so painful and stultifying? to realize that people are really out for themselves and it's not the rosy portrait of civilization we were hoping for. It's been hard for me to learn how to stand up for myself when people push me around. It's also annoying being affected by people's passive aggressiveness and having some of my own that I'm constantly needing to circle back and apologize for. I wish other people would apologize for their own passive aggressiveness. I hate the fact that I never hear other people confront that s**t.

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