Hi, I overeat to try to quell the loneliness and depression. I have gained 20 pounds in the past five years since my husband and I both lost the jobs we had for 30 years and we then moved 2,000 miles to where my husband found new employment. I have no friends here and only have part time employment. I spend a lot of time alone. I'm really disgusted with myself because I used to be a jogger. (faithful for 20 years) I have not exercised in five years. Where I am living, it's not really safe for a woman to go out on the streets alone. In fact, just last week an eleven year old girl was assaulted and murdered on her way home from school. Guess I should use a tread mill indoors. But I haven't had the motivation.
I definitely have not adjusted to this big transition in my life. I console myself by telling myself that at least I survived. Is just surviving good enough? Shouldn't I be more productive and at least keep the house clean and exercise? But all I do is survive and that involves eating ice cream and cookies. I hope that just surviving is good enough.
Twenty years ago there was a suicide in my family. I saw how utterly devastating that was to family members including myself. I forgive and even understand the person who committed suicide because they were 48 hours into a medication switch for depression when it happened and the autopsy showed a terrible chemical imbalance in their brain. The person was a teacher so the suicide didn't just impact family and friends, it impacted hundreds of kids who had the person as a teacher. That was the toughest funeral I have ever been to. I was a teacher for 34 years, so I know my life has touched hundreds maybe a thousand kids and their families. I hope I never become the source of such pain to people. So I keep surviving.
Sorry that turned into a long and rambling story. But in my humble opinion, if you need oatmeal cookies to survive, then eat them.
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I said, "You don't understand that I don't understand what you understand."