Emptiness

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I have this overwhelming feeling of emptiness. I'm going with it and working with it.

A quick situational explanation: my wife is having an affair and we are in the process of splitting up. I am in a hotel room because I am travelling for work purposes. At the moment I am away from home 5 days a week.

I have no other relationships other than what I had with my wife. I don't want any other relationships, which I guess is why I am working with this feeling of emptiness. I have three kids but its more about me looking after them. I know they care for me but they can't support me emotionally.

This emptiness is a bit like that feeling of panic when you have just jumped off a very high diving board and there is no reversing the jump. In this case, it goes on indefinitely whereas when jumping off diving boards, the sensation ends when you land in the water.

The situation I am in is not desperate; in fact I am throwing myself into my work, studies etc more than ever (as a way to keep my mind positive and focussed). I'm posting about this because I imagine there are others out there with similar situations and emotional states who might be interested and find solace. Then too, I guess I am posting about this because I just feel better for doing so. In fact, I think I might even be enjoying this sensation; a bit like swimming in a very cold mountain stream is really enjoyable after the initial thermal shock.

Hi, sorry to hear about your situation. You had a good description for the emptiness. I'm glad you have your work and studies to throw yourself into. I hope with time that things will get better and that you can move on in life to something better. Sorry I don't have any answers to relieve your present emptiness. But I'm listening.

I can understand how you're feeling too. I have been having a similar feeling of emptiness lately and have found some comfort with feeling that the emptiness will be filled with something new.

Thanks for sharing. I like the mental pictures shared
A. Jumping in to extreme cold water
B. Empty waiting to be filled.
Seems like you are filling it while also being able to I. D ing feelings
I'm not always able to do that

Yes, identifying feelings is not my strong point. What you are reading is my conscious effort to do so. I've realised that I'm not strong in that area, and generally go around in a state of emotional confusion. I was reading other posts that described alexithymia and while I can describe emotions (and therefore not alexithymic), I'm not good at knowing what I'm feeling or what others are feeling.

Even if not alexithymic, aspies do have obvious issues with emotions and feelings. I mean its obvious here, with me engaging in a technical discussion about emotional feelings. I do know that emotional voids cannot be filled with technical rational content. The technical/rational/analytical content does nothing but give one a well defined sense of the size and nature of the void.

I guess why I'm living with the void at present is because I have no immediate choice, but I do also see that I have a choice that comes along very rarely in life, and that is the freedom to choose my future. I am losing a relationship but on the other side of that I can choose a different future. The presence of the emotional emptiness (the void) is a painful thing but it reminds me that I am at a new personal frontier where I can choose a new path. I like that notion and I don't want to squander it by reflexively diving into some new relationship. I might rather become a recluse somewhere, write books or just go fishing.

When I feel empty, I tend to either watch lots of sports, do research on the Internet, come to WP, or daydream.

I'm glad you have your productive work and college-related things to fall back on.

Nothing is ever "hopeless."

I understand. I'm going through a situation in my marriage that has me feeling empty and as if I don't even know the person anymore. We are strangers in the same house.