Does it get better?

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Hi everyone,

I'm interested to hear other people's thoughts on this. I have Asperger's, and I do often find it a struggle. My friendships are all complicated and tenuous, I feel like I never have my needs, interests and skill level catered to, and overall, things are just kind of annoying. I've always felt like this, I guess.

So, my question for any older Aspies out there, put simply, is this: does life get any better after high school? It's just that right now I'm struggling with things a bit, and the thought that if I can survive the next three and a half years, everything might be okay, is a lot of what keeps me going. I sometimes wonder if my whole life will be this desperate struggle to find a balance between fitting in and being myself. So, do I have anything to look forward to?

Feeling lost,
Jack

It's gotten better for me.

High school totally sucked. It's been almost 40 years since I graduated high school

Life has gotten better since then.

Everyone's life is different. Mine was complicated by the fact that I'm an immigrant, gay, mixed race, four-eyed, nerdy, autistic individual. It was near impossible for me to make friends. I could relate to no one. I just had no interest in whatever anyone was interested in. Somewhere along the way I did say, "F*ck it" and tried to call the whole show off.

Obviously, I made it. I'm glad I'm still alive. Now I can reflect on all my past mistakes, saw where I went wrong, lower my lofty expectations, and enjoy what little precious time I have. Life is a gift. Even though I'm a clown sometimes I don't take life for granted. Revel in it because this is the one and only one you have.

High school is the suckiest suck that ever sucked. Really, it's AWFUL, even for NT's. After you graduate and turn 18 you are legally able to say "f*ck it all" and simply walk out the door and start a new life, even on the other side of the country if you want, and nobody can stop you. I did just that three days after I graduated HS. The graduation was on a Friday, over the weekend I loaded all my stuff into a U-Haul truck, and on Monday I drove away.

Once you gain enough wisdom you figure out how to make things better. The ones who cannot break out of the numerous indoctrinations of society will continue running into problems. You cannot solve out-of-the-box problems with in-the-box thinking. People who have figured things out are out there but we typically do not socialise a lot.

It's only gotten worse for me. High school even with the bullies was the best time of my life it seems.

Im 19, I've aspergers, but I have confirmed somewhat to society, mostly by my small immediate family.
Only time I was ever popular was at prom... refuse to dance ( dare you to ask why( hint I'm not gay)) I made light up glasses slthe glasses they passed out to seniors, the electrical tape on the table decorations, and the bullet like lights little ones.
Made about 18 of them, only time anyone actually many people came to me for first and possibly last time...

Yes.
I would say my "class of problems" are different.
Sometimes mundane sometimes exotic.

My reaction to people us different. My interests have helped with connections.
Theater connection and activities in college 44 years ago continue to show benefits.
Learning to accept (though I still hate it) criticism that is beneficial has helped. Adapting to it ain't easy but with wife support and a few close friends and colleagues it can be done.
Hope and action especially when I want to isolate. .. Price is Right - priceless ..

I think my life is better compared to what it was like in High School. Maybe you could try looking for people who are similar to you.

High school can be a rough time for many people. Do you have plans for after high school? In my case, in college there were more people with my same interests to interact with. And the career I chose (teaching) took me around the globe to teach in other countries. At your age, my opinion is that the best is yet to come.

A year after he left high school I asked my grandson if he missed it.
He replied it seems at times, he never left it.
The reference was that young people at his job were still stuck in high schooling roles, work ethic ( or lack of it) and attitudes.

My thoughts
If nothing changes nothing changes.
My reactions to situations have changed in the most part.
Sometimes I can still get stuck
In old ways. An honest friend told me if I was still doing a behavior - it wasn't old it was new and present.

He mixed reality into our relationship and I kne he cared because he had done the same journey.