Bullied by others with ASD
I most recently started having issues with a group of other individuals with ASD/Asperger's like myself in March. This all seemed to start when:
I had a meltdown during one of the birthday celebrations. A. Because the birthday host (Whose the King bee) refused to invite any of my closest friend who he is supposed friends with due to telling me that they didn't behave or fit in. B. The restaurant was out of something. C. The King bee also made things up about all my friends that were not invited.
After that I was suddenly not invited to their things anymore but I heard about a few of them on facebook.
They also learned that they don't like my beliefs very well and I had a nasty fight with them in April.
Since then I have had one problem with them
Also...
This group is into self advocacy has been meeting on a regular basis to talk about self advocacy topics while I have been excluded.
1. At the last gathering that I attended the king bee invited everyone but me to work on public speaking. When I asked if I could join, I was told that I already have experience. When I asked if I could watch he said that he wanted to keep the group small.
2. They learned that I could stand up to them and be about the way I haven't been valued in an e-mail. Since then I had been hearing through my other friends that they have been texting them behind my back and telling them to exclude me from their gatherings. But I have told them time and again that I am not really that interested in that group though I was hurtful when I first found out that I wasn't being invited to their things and hearing about it on Facebook.
Things seemed to get even worse when the king bee's girlfriend inviting me to the birthday knowing that I have problems. However she sent me a private e-mail before that and asked me to behave myself and not fight. While I was looking at going I decided not to due to personal reasons and due to not getting along with the king bee and mistrusting some of his friends because of the gossiping and the mouthy behavior. So I said on the invitation "I think I will sit this one out."
Later that night I got a message from one of the attendees who hasn't really cared for the king bee all that much. I had also told him that the king bee made some things up about them. Little did I know that the person who I was corresponding with went back to the king bee's girlfriend who told him that I was not only trying to turn them against her boyfriend but that I left her a mean message which is not true. So this person turned cold and suddenly cut me out of their life.
I confronted both the king bee and his girlfriend via text because it was late at night and the only thing I heard is that she was mad at me for writing :"I'll sit this one out." So I apologized to both the king been and his girl friend only to find out that he had blocked me from linked in. I tried to use an online website to send him an anonymous e-mail in trying to defend myself. Unfortunately it didn't work and I got a really nasty response. "Nice try," before being accused that.
1. I'm the liar and the bully
2. That I bullied the other person which I did not
I said "Don't flatter yourself." He said "Stop harassing me and my friends."
I also got a text message from one of the nicer people who called me about for "Bullying that individual who they succeeded at turning against me and how they were depressed" and that I was stalking the king bee. I attempted to show her some screen shots and explain myself. But she decided to go back to the other group only to have them completely poison them against me. In fact this person got back with me last night after a few days and left 18 nasty texts. They were about how I am a liar and that they hate me and don't want me talking to them anymore and to leave the other person alone who dumped me.
"Don't you ever contact me again. I hate you. Don't even think about contacting the other person. He only hated the king bee because you were trying to turn them against him."
Though I am mostly ignoring them I am still getting nasty texts like the one above which have made me cry and feel bad.
1. I would have never expected to be bullied by people in the Asperger community. I guess the opposite is true. It came to me though that the King Bee had been rejected and hurt so many times himself. He was scared that this current group would choose me over him for various reasons.
2. I also did some research on how to confront a bully and I did confront the person who sent me those texts. I asked them point blank "What specifically did I say to make you think I lied to the group?" "What outside sources have gotten information from that I have been talking trash behind your backs?" "What am I doing to make you guys think that I am being a bully?" I also said that I didn't care to talk on them if they were going to act irrational but if they could get me all the proper proof in a calm way I am happy to listen. So far I haven't heard back.
As a side note though this person who is accusing me and being a hater because they have experienced lots of bullying themselves in addition to facing some major traumatic events so I understand where they are coming from. They are also only 19 years old and as you know people who have been hurt will attach onto anyone who reaches out even if they aren't so good.
Tell them all to piss off and leave them alone. Block them on social media and walk away from it. You've discovered what happens when a clique decides you're trash and wants to dump on you. Nothing you do will overcome the momentum of hate the clique and will in fact feed it so the only sensible thing is to disengage. The less you interact with them the better you will feel.
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Diagnosed ASD 4/22/16
All magic comes with a price! - Rumplestiltskin
I am feeling a lot better now and did manage to block these people along with reporting her text messages as spam. I also didn't respond the night of the texts but rather waited to calm down by confronting them. Oddly enough I never added their phone number to my lists of contacts and I am glad that I didn't. But if she contacts me again and talks to me like that then I will block her and set boundaries.
On the contrary..
1. I am a lot older than they are
2. Most of these kids are in their 20's and that means that it's their version of the teen years
3. All they do most of the time is play "Cards Against Humanity" which is fun but gets old after a while. They do others things to
4. I feel like this group heavily revolves around worshiping the king bee and finding a way to serve him.
5. It also feels more like a house of power than a source of community and support.
6. I never really had run with these people
7. I was left out of several things and got excuses
8. I knew it would be a matter of time before these people would turn against me and especially with the king bee and I was right.
(I would like to post something since I can't edit my posting anymore)
* I never had fun with this group of people
*They mainly play Cards Against Humanity but do others things as a clique and a group of friends.
Other things:
1. The king bee is notorious for pushing other people's buttons until they have had enough and let him know they aren't taking his crap anymore. Why he has gotten himself kicked out of several meet up groups only to victimize himself by blaming the real victim. "They're terrible people and hated me because of my autism. They've blocked me."
Now I feel like he is not only doing the same thing to me but also getting others to do the same thing.
Commadore1
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 1 Jul 2015
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 34
Location: Ontario, Canada Eh
I agree with some other comments. Those people do not seem like your friends from what you have said. If that is the case I suggest you stop talking and hanging out with them.
Although i can see you having an awkward time at the support meetings, I cannot think of a solution to that right this second.
I realized not long ago that I may have around 20 or 30 "friends" who are down to party and do stuff but when I had my life crash down and needed emotional support for the first time I realized I only have 2 friends, and i realized how important they were.
Screw everyone else, if they are not there for you (and vice versa
) then your wasting energy, I know this is all easier said then done but it takes effort to look after yourself.
1 Minute at a time ![]()
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Just flying my spaceship
I know they were not because they kept leaving passive aggressive hints on several occasions. One of the last ones leaving me out of a group event and then talking about it in front of me. I told them "Sounds like fun and I would have liked to have been there." They said "Well we were respecting your day of worship but we would have included you otherwise."
Find people who value you.

