Please help me improve my computer/tech skills !

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I have BEGGED this OVER AND OVER , but , please , can't someone in the Bay Area meet me , to let me improve my computrer/tech skills ?
Just to get it to " normal " , the fact that I can verbally post OK is deceptive ~ I caanot click and drag . I cannot put up and icon . I cannot download ., And so forth .
I am banned at the ilibrary , remember , so , anything else aside , " take a course at the library " is not an option for me .
I just want to get up to normal .
If we worked it out , I would figure out what low-end smartphone I would myself buy and we could take it from there .
Please ! !! !! !! !! !!

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

This may be a solution for you as no-one here is available and the tuition is free:

http://www.sfcommunityliving.org/computertraining.html

...Maybe . But somehow , I think they wouldn't really be interested in teaching me what I want to know .
There's my very limited mobility ~ CRIPPLED-NESS ~ too .
I tend to think they might just , really quickly , show me something quickly , which they know how to do well...and then , expect to do it perfectly from there .
" There ! Now you do it for yourslf ! "
Maybe if someone would come to such classes with me and give me individual attention after them ...
PLEASE , CAN'T SOMEBODY HELP ME ? PLEASE ? I ---------WON'T ! !! !! !! !!---------ASK FOR MONEY , OR A PLACE TO STAY , OR GIFTS ----------------------AT ALL . ------------------------ .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

You're not going to like this---but shaving your beard and getting a haircut might help, too.

...Has KK ever even seen a picture of me ?
Even another WPer , whom I've had a fair amount of off-board contact with (no same-space however) has I think only seen one picture ever of me (and me of him) !
My bad skills mean I don't have many pictures of me , y'see .
I said that I'd go (haircut aside ~ What is this , 1969 or something and you're George Wallace/Duke Wayne supporters ?) to such a class ~ if someone would go with me .
Help me to set it up , spend some one-on-one time with me , etc.
Physically go . Regularly , I mean .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I have actually seen a picture of you.

...The person I'm referring to's ?
It was taken (I asked a passer-by) at a oddball " Sit here " spot on Market Street , I am very small in it , it's not a c lose-up .

...Actually , 3 years back , when I was in jail in Santa cruz , I wanted to get a trim - and coloring of my beard , anyway - but I mostly have not had the money to do it ~ and I'd like to do it nice .
I picture myself going to that very Middle American (my idea of) chain ~ Prime cuts ? ~ and doing it .
Like so many other things , if I got some spare money ...
I will tell you this now .
My worker (The same one who " didn't know " about calling the library) was wanting me to get a haircut ~ Like where ?
At some place where ex-cons and cleaned-up drug addicts practice being barbers ? Blaugggh . Okay , I'm a snob .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

You can shave the beard off yourself.

You can go to a barber and get a haircut for about ten bucks.

...I'd wanted to dye my beard red (maybe my hair , too) to look al " Celtic bard " .
As for my hair , it hasn't grown apprecibly in many years , with me never cutting it ~ I semi-think thhat my male pattern baldness has hit , that my hair will never , apprecably , grow back if I cut it .
Now that dying seems more of a possible prospect , the thought of " before I die , I'd like to..."...Well .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...What is the obsession with " Get a haircut ! " ? Why ?
Is someone here sayinng , " If you get a hair-/beardcut to my liking THEN I'll help you improve yourcyber-skills ?
Is that it ?
My hair isn't even long , though I haven't had a " haircut " for many many years IIRC my hair does not even really touch my shoulders ! !! !! !! !! As I said , I tend to think my hair may have stopped growing , essentially , male pattern baldness .
Therefore , any haircut might be goodbye forever to having that much hair on my head , it might never grow back .
But , is someone dangling " I'll help you get better at computers if you'll do what I want and cut your hair/beard thisaway " ?

...Actually , I'd be willing to pay a little money to get computer-tagught like I want - Maybe $20 a session ?
Would that make it worthwhile for you ?
If I not only don't ask for any money/gifts , but pay YOU (who can help me) ?
You know , " teachers " just tend to show you something really qucick , then go " There . Now do it for yourself ! " That's happened to me .
THEY EXPECT YOU TO KNOW EVERYTHING ALREADY ! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !
Like one time , I got an " Obamaphone " free cheap cellphoone (which is basically just a reboot anyhow of the " lifeline " cheap landline phones) and...The person at the place helped me make a couple of calls ~ to about the only pesons I knew to call ~ and then it was " Figure it out for yourself " .
On my own , I couldn't even make the calls I had ~ I had this " desireable item " , a cellphone - but it was useless to me ! !! !! !! !! !! So I just threw it away . That's better than if I tried to sell it , right ? That would be me getting money , and that would be BAD (he said sarcastically) . I have , more recently , been told that my lack of a " proper " address renders me unable to get a new Obamaphone here in San Francisco...Maybe that's not true of all providrs , but I was told that by some...And , one told me that it depended on what they had in stock " whether I got one with video (I think) I mean , COME ON ! !! !! !! I'm not asking for the most elaborate bt I want to be , more or less ," like everybody else " - And if somebody would help me with my computer/phine skills maybe I COULD be ...........(Since I could die soon...-ish , from what the doctors told me I put the skull in - And then I'd die never having , among many other " nevers " , learned to properly computer-things/phone ...........)

...I should point out , re my haircut/beard:
that the beard , anyway , rather covers up/distracts from my missing teeth (30) .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I'll pay $35 a session to be well-taught computer/phone stuff , as I have outlined .
Not only will II not ask for money ~ Or other " goodies " ~ from you , I will pay YOU . Please ?
Now , will someone here ~ or someone else you might know , could deleagte to do it in the S.F. Bay Area , help me learn ?
Please ?
It's thirty-five bucks a session ...

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!