Abusive step-dad, reaching breaking point

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Outrider
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10 Jun 2016, 6:44 am

For months I've silently watched. I mind my own business and only step in when really necessary, so you can tell things must have reached the point where I had to.

Earlier fighting, and sister, probably tired of how he yells at them, yells at him and he goes to hit her. She runs into room and mother physically holds him back while he's yelling and swearing at the door.

I walk out and start yelling at step dad, stuff like stop yelling at my sister that way and get your hands off my mum, etc. he tries to grab at me but mum remains in-between the entire time while he's yelling threats at me and trying to get at me.

Dialed police on phone but talked with mum and uncle before deciding to do so.

We are in the process of moving but once we do mum and uncle 'have a plan' to finish this BS once and for all.

I cant trust this Motherf***er with my stuff and he and my uncle are the ones moving the stuff so i told my uncle just to keep a close eye if step-dad tries to abuse our belongings e.g. kick our boxes etc.

Mum stopped me this time from calling police but after we move if it gets to this point again her word can not stop me and I will.

This is strike 1 of 2.

I don't fear my step dad at all even if he made threats and dont give a s**t if hes stronger.

He's also getting older and older each year and I am too, so that's good for me and bad for him as I'm just approaching my physical peak, he's past his.

So if things continue like this I'll be ready.



ZD
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10 Jun 2016, 7:38 am

I would just report him anyway. It's not upto anyone else.


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cavernio
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10 Jun 2016, 5:15 pm

:-(


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BeaArthur
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10 Jun 2016, 5:18 pm

Outrider wrote:
We are in the process of moving but once we do mum and uncle 'have a plan' to finish this BS once and for all.

What is the plan?


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Beau
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10 Jun 2016, 5:31 pm

Hey Outrider.

I'm sorry that this is the environment you're currently living in. You mentioned that your family is moving; will your step-dad be living with you at this new place? Or is your mom planning to separate/divorce him? In your opinion, how likely is it that your mom will follow through with the plan? Sometimes, even when there is a plan in place, victims will continue to live with their abusers and if this is the case, then sadly, the only choice you can make would be to move out yourself.

Anyways, I can relate a bit to what you've written...and what I've learned is that you can't reason with someone who is currently exploding with anger. Yelling back at them would aggravate them even more. Sometimes, even talking to them in a calm voice won't even help. If you want to call the police the next time it happens, then trust your gut and do it.


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cavernio
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10 Jun 2016, 9:29 pm

Calling police is justified. Just don't rely on your mum to back you up/be truthful about the situation if you DO call them and she didn't want you to call them in the first place.


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kraftiekortie
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11 Jun 2016, 7:35 am

Is one of the reasons why you aren't going to University because you don't want to abandon your Mum?

Sounds like a lousy situation you're in, with no easy resolution.

Does the stepdad actually HIT your mother? If he does, then call the police. Especially if it leaves a visible mark on her. If he yells and doesn't hit, the police usually don't care too much; some might think it was a waste of time to call. It depends on the cop, really.

Has he a police record? Has he a conviction record for either a Summary Offence or an Indictable Offence? I can understand one not wanting a person to have a record if one doesn't have one already. It can ruin people's lives to have a record. But if he already has a record, one more arrest wouldn't screw him up too badly.

I understand that you want to protect your mother--and you should. But, if you're not protecting your mother, I wouldn't do anything to your stepfather that would get YOU a police record. You don't need that--at all.