Not coping with life.
I really can not deal with changes, it making me depressed. I try so hard to be normal, I have more friends than Ive ever had before, I like my job mostly- I had previously thought I would not be able to hold down a full time job for long but I can usually cope with 40 hours per week no problem.
I am spending a lot of money trying to get help with my sensory problems. I really hate myself for having stims so I hope this guy can help me stop. I have absolutely no confidence and my mental health is a bit worrying atm. I have taking to burning myself rather a lot again, and am not really eating properly. I go from being really hyper and happy to literally bursting into tears for no apparent reason. I am only on meds for anxiety. People can be pretty mean with making fun of me, but generally there’s not much bad in my life. I am useless at relationships, but some people find me attractive.
I know I should be happy with what I can do, but it is easier said than done.
I do not want to go to a doctor, I don’t really see any benefit in it, and I am terrified of being labelled as schizophrenic again.
I can not deal with the basic everyday changes in my life, plans change and I have to cancel I.e. if I am planning to go swimming with someone, then they change there mind and want to see a film instead, I have to cancel unless they tell me well in advance, even if I would prefer to see a film. People cancel on me all the time, and I understand that, I am not the best company in the world. Every time someone arranges to meet me I assume they will cancel, as is often the way. Yet when they do cancel I get so stressed still.
I hate having AS. I do not get how all you guys cope so well in life.
How do you view suicide? A cowards way out, or something that people should be able to consider as an option? I am just intrested to know.
This is where you'll constantly fail, whilst minute details are different and the situation may appear to have fallen from another tree; we're alike: Trying to be whom we are not, causing ourselves unbearable pain as we bounce off the walls of peoples' paths that we cannot follow, whom want us to follow their path as they do, pushing us placing us pillaging us into a position that we'll never be able to stand in...or perhaps we do it to ourselves because we truly wish to be what we're not and we cannot see the truth....
I feel your pain.
Don't try to be something your not, be yourself. So what if you stim, its okay to stim, its another way of coping with things. I myself feel you on the plan changing thing. I hate making plans and getting cancelled, and if somebody says were going to do this and then all of a sudden they change their mind and we do something else I freak. I try to do my best though to explain to the person what is wrong, Its hard to live with autism, but living with it, makes you a whole lot stronger. Sucicide is never the answer, it is the cowardly way out, its another way of saying I'm giving up on myself, I don't care. Don't ever give up, their are people who understand what your going through and people that will listen and try to help. If you ever needed to just chat or just vent, you can always send me a msg.
Have you ever been DX with Bi-polar?Some medications for anxiety and depression can actually make the symptoms of this worse.I think it is hard sometimes to sort out the different "traits" of AS and co-morbids,but it is important to do so because...one is brain wiring and the other can be caused by combination of brain chemistry and life experiences(which cause
negative cognitions).
If you go to a DR who knows about AS,I dont think you would have the risk of being labeled schizophrenic.I would recommend seeing a specilist who understands how our minds work(literal thinking..."do you here voices"...me"yes"(thinking to myself...I am certainly not deaf and sometimes here singing in the water pipes)
It is hard to do new things.But when what you are doing is not working(doesnt seem that it is,as you sound miserable),then it is time to try something new.
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Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesn't mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
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