Err Did anyone else have this problem with their siblings?

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When my family first heard about asperger's from me, they were in extreme denial, and believe I was being a hypochondriac. Well now they are excepting of the condition, in fact I told my uncle about it because my aunt (his sister) is a 'crazy cat lady'. He looked at the condition and said "This fits all of us so well, My wife had to teach me how to talk to people, and we've been in counseling for years because I can't connect with people, and it fits your father to a tee". Both of them are now diagnosed aspies, and my grandmother who is close to her death bed says it covers her and my grandfather too. Anyways I need to get to the point. I didn't mind telling my family, and a few close friends about my asperger's, but my brothers just blurt it out to everyone who we meet. They are not kind about it either. Its "This is my sister, she's autistic which is like retardation so be nice to her." One of my stims is bouncing my leg, well because of all the stress in my family I can't really help it right now. My mother says I violently shake when i do it too, well my brother made the comment "The ret*d shakes when shes scared." I've confronted my brothers about it about they say "Its true though" or "Krissy, relax its called a joke." I also asked my mother to make them stop telling everyone i have asperger's and to not call me a ret*d anymore. She just blew it off. This is one of the conversations we had about it "Mother can you please make them stop telling everyone? Please?" "Krissy, boys will be boys." "But its none of their business." "Kind of like how its none of your business on who i date and when i can date them? (she's dating a guy named mike, they starting going out 3 weeks after my fathers death which i believe is loathsome, so I'm always yelling at her for it) " She uses the date thing every time, and my brothers are becoming meaner. My brother Adam actually put a helmet on me and said Here make sure you wear this at all times aspie. Does anyone have any suggestions on how i can make my brothers stop?, because my mother is no help at all. Did anyone else go through this with their siblings?

Gah... My brother doesn't even know what AS is, and I'm glad. Tell them you're not ret*d and if they don't stop, threaten to take something from them they like. That's all I can think of right now, as I'm half-asleep.

That is very rude of them. Especially the ret*d (how I loath that word) part.

My advice:

Plan A: Mention to your brothers that calling you stupid makes them look bad by association.

Plan B: Don't go anywhere with them. If they want to go, you stay home, or you protest as loudly as possible. If you are forced to go anywhere with them, once there, get as far away from them as possible. If anyone asks, you can say something along the lines of: "I'm tired of having my brother's introduce me to everyone as 'The ret*d', when I'm clearly nothing of the sort."

Plan C: Laugh at them when they tell someone that remarking on how imaginative your brother's are, and how silly. I know that's easier said then done, but try anyway. Now comes the fun part. Start telling the most embaressing story you know about your brothers. If the brats have the nerve to complain, you can repeat their own excuses:

How old are your brothers? From there description they sound very immature so i am guessing they are pretty young. And how old are you? My brothers are 17 and 23. I am 20. Neither of them really "get" AS, and they, like your family did at first, probably think i am being a hypochondriac. They know I'm weird even though they won't put a name to it, but they leave me alone about it and say i can do what i need to do, only occasionally trying to tell me "well everybody does that" or they don't get what i'm talking about when i try to explain some aspect of AS or how i am to them.

This is my favourite one.


Insensitive little brats. Just seeing this makes me want to smack the crap out of them.

The ages of my brothers are 5, 12, 14, and 21. I'm 16. The 5 year old is no problem at all, he just knows that I become 'scared' in a large group of people, the 21 year old is fine too, he's trying to teach me social skills. Its the other two who are the problem. WriterWithoutWords thank you for the suggestions, but I've already tried A, and B. I guess I must try C now.

Ugh, 12 and 14, got to be the worst ages for boys (and girls). Immature, selfish, think they know everything, and will listen to no one. I hated my brother at times when he was that age. Their old enough they "ought" to be able to take your feelings into account and have more sense than that, but they don't. They have the capacity but the lack of desire to really learn about others feelings. Sorry, I'll stop ranting, i've just had my fill of boys that age and it's one reason i've decided not to have kids bc i never want to deal with that kind of behavior. Sorry, i wish i had advice for you. All i can say is your mom is probably tired of it too and so doesn't want to do anything about it. It's hard on moms to try to control such reckless words and to have to deal with that much sibling strife.

I get so sick of hearing people say that.

Have fun.

Gah, boys are mean. My brother is 13 and calls me names!

So glad that I am grown, and my brothers are miles and miles away!

hi! i had a bro that we both had issues with each other... and AS was not even a plausible explaination cause none of us were aware...

but take a look in your post... i think age is a key factor here... teenagers have crazy hormones.... me and my bro are almost 4 yrs apart and always had rivalry issues... but right about when i was goin off to college... my bro stated getting a lot cooler.

i know your sibblings must cause you grief... but i'm sure they will grow out of it. try just talking to them frankly about it or having the older one do it...

Can't your 21 year old brother help with your younger bros?

It sounds like your mom won't do anything. I would imagine that the little brothers look up to the older brothers. My younger bro idolized my twin bro growing up. Can you ask the 21 yr old to talk to the younger ones and ask them not to do those things?

Wish I could help. It sounds so awful I feel for you.

Could you say something like

"I can't believe you don't have anything better to do with your time than insult me. Boy, you must really have no life, and no intelligence, if you don't have anything better to do."

(after he tells people you're autistic, look at him and say"
"Funny, yet I'm the one with empathy. "

"Funny, yet I'm the autistic one, yet I know enough not to air other people's business in public."

Or, to tie with the embarassing story one,

"Funny, I'm autistic, yet you were the one who INSERT STORY HERE."

Or even

"Yep, I'm autistic. And I'm so glad. I have something to be proud of, something that makes me unique, but you two... you two are just going to get lost in the crowd and become nobodies your whole life. You'll never amount to anything. But since I have these special skills, I'll be fine" or something like thast

Good luck I hope you manage to put them in their place. That can be devestating. I had it bad enugh with one bro - for a few yrs - cant imagine 2d oing that
Kate

my brother tells no one and he respects and helps me threw it...
he's a great friend

Ugh, just reading what your brothers do to you makes me sick. It makes me so mad when they call you those names in front of people and your mother doesn't do anything about it!

Does your mother actually witness the two brothers doing this bad stuff?

I consider myself lucky, that I didn't have to deal with that garbage.