Trouble communicating.......

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I don´t know how to deal with this.
Sorry. It takes a lot of words to explain.

I have been a client of a very good physiotherapist for some years.
Some years ago he and his colleague were very annoyed with me, because I couldn´t their exercises satisfactory and now I know, that I often didn´t understand the instructions. I need a lot of detail and I often can´t feel , what I´m doing with muscles and joints.
One of them said: "We know, what type of client, you are". A tuff remark. Statement or critique? I just stiffened and asked no further.

I stayed away a couple of years, but I had to return for further treatment this spring - and I sense, that the old atmosphere is still there.
I told him, that I had got an asperger label and he wasn´t surprised. "I knew, there was something. I have a son vith ADHD".
So, I thought, things would be allright - matters cleared - but they aren´t.

This time I try to do my utmost - and as I have a hard time knowing if I execise the right way, how it should feel and all that. I have to ask.
(Another phys., same clinic, is instructing me in foot training. No trouble there. She totally accepts all my questions and notes).
Last time, he said, that I didn´t need to say anything. He could tell by my movements, - but anyhow, I need a lot of detail and there are problems, I´ve got to ask him to treat as well - and I have to describe them.

Mostly I can´t answer questions - tell, what I need to tell, or ask what I need to ask here and now, - so I sometimes write him afterwards. He doesn´t answer, so I just hope, that he does, when I see him.
I don´t know.... but how the .... should I do?
If I choose "whatever exercise" as he adviced me - I often make things worse.
He obviously doesn´t want to go into that, which I normally would expect a phys. to do.

He might not be totally well at the moment, but of course he doesn´t tell me. I just have this notion, that, deep down, he would prefer, that I didn´t come - or at least didn´t talk - as if the old things still roam in the backyard - but I can´t know, because I am prone to misread people. It might just be an interpretation...

How should I ask him? Is it a question, that can be asked at all?
It goes on and on in my head - draining all my energy and spirits. (Gosh, I´ve been there a number of times).

Do anyone have good ideas on how to go about this?

You should probably go to the person with whom you could communicate better.

I read your OP and could easily imagine the awfulness of your experience. That kind of comment that was made to you was like a slap in the face, and slapping someone's face is grossly unprofessional and unacceptable. It sounds like you were deeply triggered by it - as most of us here possibly would have been Jensen.

If another party or other parties employ this man, could you make an appointment with the owner to discuss this, the impact on you, and your needs as a client? Or could an advocate-supporter help you do that? Or make a formal complaint in writing? Maybe members here could help you draft a formal complaint if you would like that input? (It would seem important to add an appendix which clearly explains what your particular needs are, for example if you are a visual learner, or do better with written instructions or a combination of both. It may be that the owner/s can recommend some useful books or other resources that may be helpful in working out what the requests mean and involve?)

You are the client and your well-being and needs have to be their clear priority. I can't see that they were previously. Being discounted, negatively labelled, pigeon-holed and trivialised led to you avoiding the treatment you needed; that was the consequence of his inappropriate behaviour to you. The other concern I have is that he may repeat his earlier behaviour - not only with you but other people on the spectrum.

It turned out, that he is sick. Probably that´s why he seems grumpy. It isn´t my fault.
I talked to the secretary today, which was a RELIEF!

He had just returned to hospital today. Nobody really knows, what the matter is. Some other phys. may take over, if he remains ill. Sad, because he is remarkably good (he was the physioth. of two famous danish footballplayers for years).
The nasty remark came from his earlier collegue in a moment of frustration. I confused him with all my details.

Of course they discuss clients, when they work as a team.

Problem solved.
Thanks for your response.

This would be enough for me to not ever want to go to that physiotherapist again and might not depending on how badly I felt I needed physio, but then again I'm very rejection sensitive to things like this. I now have a name for why.

Is it possible to get another physiotherapist? Could you bring a translator along with you, a friend, family member, someone who helps out disabled people perhaps, to stand up for/with you? I do better when there is someone else there who understands me.

No, I can manage, now that I´ve understood the situation. I´m sensitive to rejection too and I used to react as strong as you do, but over the years you live and learn.
It isn´t anything with me. He is only grumpy, because he is ill.
I´ve known him for years and I want to keep him, if he gets better and can return.

Why can't you go to the other person?

The collegue? He´s an IT salesman now. If my phys doesn´t get well enough, he will instruct someone else and tell, where we are.

I accept that you think the situation is improved now.

I would just like to share that I have gone to physical therapy for years, on and off. I probably am better in some ways because of it. I have a lady I like very much and have sent my spouse and my daughter to her.

But the fact remains that often I do not practice the methods she suggests, and I just seem to have hit the highest point I'm going to get to. I am not a visual-spatial thinker. I don't have good body awareness, and I forget things easily. I've had to tell my physical therapist "Stop! no more exercises, I'm not going to digest what you tell me if you tell me any more today."

I don't think I'm a terribly good physical therapy candidate.

As a bit of an aside, I feel part of your physiotherapist's frustration. I like to dance and am surprisingly good at it despite being clumsy in general life (I hurry because I want things done with often I think is the cause). But when faced with teaching someone ELSE how to perform a dance move properly, I get frustrated quite easily. My ex-husband and I exercised sometimes with videos and he would nearly -always- do things wrong. From basic footsteps to arm movements to how to lift and use a weight; just, like EVERYTHING. He was very awkward with his body. (I don't blame him for it; in fact he told me he'd always been that way. He was very tall and large and ever since a child he had problems with it.) His sense of proprioception and just, which muscles he was moving compared to the mirror image he was seeing, were just not at all right most of the time.

As we continued to exercise, it became more clear to me that he would end up using muscles and rotations etc. that were easiest to him, and not the *right* muscles or rotations for the exercise, which of course were super hard for him since he wouldn't usually do them in regular life. This made it more frustrating for me (I don't teach significant other's well because I allow myself to show my impatience, even if in a classroom setting I might be completely controlled haha.)

Perhaps one of the reasons I was/am good at dance and these things in general is that I used a mirror a lot of the time, and was taught by mimicking a person visually. That might be more your style. Maybe try getting him or someone else to show you the move in person, then put yourself in front of a mirror and then attempt to do the move while you watch yourself. This DOES require a mirror that you can use which might be hard to come by depending on your exercises. (Alas, dance studios ALWAYS have a wall of mirrors) Maybe even get a friend to record you on camera or photograph you while you try to do the move and then compare it to a photograph of the move being done properly?

It also will be hard because often the moves that will be shown to you, the person will be stretching/pulling/musculating FAR more than you will be able to do, since, you know, you're in physio for it. You might only be able to move a centimeter of a stretch for instance when in the example they move a limb 5 inches, and that might make it so that you're adjusting personally the position of the stretch to move as close to 5 inches because you're doing your best to repeat the position, but alas, as you do that it's no longer the same stretch because you've adjusted a hundred other different angles so that the muscle that needs stretching/working is no longer being used. This was certainly an issue with my ex-husband. He would attempt a thing and then adjust to try and match the ability as opposed to the muscle.

I don't know if that helps you at all, but it might. A weird rule of thumb would be to keep in mind that if it pulls a bit or is sore, then you're definitely stretching -something-, and if you cannot stretch/do it very far, then that might be a good indication that that is EXACTLY the thing you should be doing.