Hospitalized still again .

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I was , as I said , this last weekend .
I'll put this up in installments (But , jumping ahead , it managed to include more new examples of how crippled I am including a new way to fall dow .)
Fri.-Sat. , I was really gainig that water weight again , even with taking the medicine I was given .
Briefly , I decided to call the ER to get picked up , packing some stuff of mine but getting my room a bit disshevelled (And , as it turned out , leaving my door key behind , the door unlocked , when I went to l'hopital) ~ And , I was a little mentally weird by the time I called the ER ~ which could have been because I turned out to have really low blood sugar ~ Low , not high . ~ With hthe meicals saying to me that other people would've been in a coma with lbs like that , IIRC .
I was in the hospital Sat. into Mon. , then I insisted on leaving , and left AMA ~ I may have left in advance of the hospital calling psychaitrists to 2PC me , trying to keep me there involuntarily ~ I'm not sure how serious that was .
The thing was , once I got in the hospital , the whole dynamic of my life coming to a dead stop happened again ~ If I just had a working Internet device of some kind , it could be a nice rest in the hospital but I've had so many stolen or otherwise disappeared in the last two years .
Plus being shut inside and having to deal withmedicos ~ Maybe at times getting too cranky , when they ask repetitive questions or not-getting-it , or disturb me , with my sleep difficulties - Before I left my room for the hospital , the bedsheet on top of my bed had some feces stains ~ NOT because I had been naked upon it , I had not been , I always had underwear on ~ But little bits of stool stain came/rubbed/leaked out from the undies onto the sheet and at least one pretty strong stain that had leaked through where I was sitting on the bed in shorts .
Don't you love hearing this ?
I left because I did want Internet access/to express myself , not just here - But wanting to finding out something about my semi-dashed hopes of going to SFCC , which you'll remember .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Mabye you could ask the hospital to use the internet. They might be able to help you. They might atleast let you use on of their computers. Or Take you to the library.

...I have yet to hear any updates on the SFCC thing .
There is a thing I remember the people at the SRO telling where , (I think) if you were away for more than three nights a month you could lose the room .
Remembering this , I did want to back , after two nights in the hospital (I kind of remembered it as " three nights two many " rather than " more than three nights " which I guess it was??) , even if I thought it wasn't likely they'd throw me out ~ But what if they did ?
As it turned out , no issue was raised when I got back .
It did turn out that I had left my key in the room , the room unlocked , too .
Physically ~ Well , going home yesterday , as I hinted - getting off of the bus , my legs rather gave out under me , and I fell down on the ground ~ The bus driver said to me , " If I had a cane , I'd give it to you " .
The medicos sometimes ask me about a cane or walker , but they don't really tend to offer it . As I've said , non-HL people think HL/poor peoplle will tend to get more goodies from Social Services than is actually the case , I quoted The Homeless Guy blogger about that .
I could accept using a cane/walker/crutch ~ I guess . I'd prefer to use it as something to try and recover/get better .
I would like to get treatment for what I have , and get to rest more , in a better space - and not have to go out blocks daily for food or computer access .
Where could I go ?
Is what I'm getting now in SF the best I can hope for ? Am I really about to go , greatly , physically downhill ?

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I rather doubt they'd do that . MAYBE?? in a small town , not a big city??
And , remember , I am banned from the library now .
You know , my coughing gets me in situations of trouble , I've almost been thrown out of this lab for my coughing - The medicos seem to ignore the coughing , figure somehow I " choose " to do it ~ Why would I ? It could f**k up my singing voice , I think , too .
Perhaps because I tend to plod along , and don't " look " sick enough ~ And people don't see me walking much ~ Authority figures tend to pay little attention to my crippled walking .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I wish you would realize that having your own room is the best situation that you've been in at least a couple of years. You're not in a shelter. You're not out in the street. You have a private room.

Sorry about the fall, buddy. Maybe you should really push to get that cane.

Are you allowed to have a hot plate?

...There's effectively no plugs at all , and the thing of the sun getting into my eyes and the walking for computer access , and for food , and being banned from the library... . The eye-bedazzling sunlight/non-rest for the back/" lead-mercury " , too .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Have you mentioned to the HOT team that you're banned from the library?

...Yes , I'm somewhat physically better off , but that does give me respite to think of what I don't have ~ and the state of my health !
As of yesterday , it seemed my walking/balance ability was getting WORSE ~ and it seemed probable that , eventually , I'd have a real fall where I'd really hurt something .
I have no entertaiment machine to distract ~ No Internet , no TV , video , radio~ I went looking for a battery-operated clock radio , but they don't really have such things , at least in Walgreen's , anymore ` With a speaker , as opposed to something where you have to plug in an IPod/similar (which I don't have ` or the knowledge for ~ Not or me , remember ) .
Without a clock , I do spend lots of time on dressing .
Let's repulse everybody some more , with my body function details ! Okay .
After my main pissing (remember , I'm taking that - Lasik??/similar) , I tend to try and force every bit of pee out of my wanger , push every little bit out , with the thought of " Don't be caught needing to go " , spending a lot of time pushing it out again and again and again ~ Maybe I get too much out of my wang dang doodle , get out too much fluid , so get it too flaccid/not easily able to get an erection ?

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...Yes , I have mentioned . They seem to not care .
Just as they seem (and medicos in general) to not care about the coughing .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I did feel some more eyes/excessive light bedazzlement today , especially when , after an overcast morning where I maybe just felt it a little , the sun came out and my eyes felt the bedazzlement more .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Tell the Hot Team person that you really like the library, and that you want to know what to do to get back in their good graces.

...I tend to think that the " call a certain free legal aid " option someone suggested in my post on the subject is my only hope !
You know , I had planned to start to use the library more in the " conventional " sense ~ borrowing books , DVDs , etc. (The Main Library even has an old LP collection ! I am banned from all SF system libraries , not just the ML .) !

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!