Mark 10:1-12, stupid emotions, and pray for me please

Post Reply New Topic

Within the context of Mark 10:1-12, Mark 10:11 states, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her." I don't think that it matters whether or not I divorced my wife or that my wife divorced me, so even if I found someone who was actually interested in me it would still be considered adulterous if I married anyone other than my wife Jacklyn who left me to babysit for her brother permanently and divorced me as soon as she could with her brother's generous help. I forgive Jackie, and even her brother for what they've done and how they continue to treat me to silence regardless of how much I've continuously sought reconciliation with her and prayed for her to return throughout the 437 days since she left me as of today.

I hate myself though. I really do. My stupid emotions are just plain stupid. At the food distribution center where they give a meal and a box of food once per week, today I met a woman who was nice to me and I'm fighting having a crush on her. It's just so stupid. Just because she talked with me and likes the same video games, Star Trek The Next Generation, she even knew the show Red VS Blue and said Caboose was her favorite character. When I told her about one of my birds dying she hugged me. It is really awkward. She'd probably never be interested in me, she probably thinks I'm just some old guy who she felt sorry for or something. She looks young, 20ish, and works two jobs, one at a grocery store and one at a factory milling stuff, and I am working as a janitor for now and living in a crappy RV where Jackie and I last lived. I still love Jackie and I'm actively choosing not to give up on her, but these stupid emotions are just so freaking stupid. Nobody would be interested in me, it has to just be some sort of test or just all in my imagination because nobody would like me anyway, everyone throws me away without exception, so this has to be unreal and completely mental on my side of perception only.

Even if anyone were interested in me, it would Biblically be considered adultery if I ever married anyone except for Jackie again whom I already gave my lifelong vows to. I wish Jackie would just come back home, because life is so annoying and we're supposed to be together for each other always, not just when things are good and we have lots of money to spend on all her outings and merchandise that she loves so much more than me. I'm sorry, I hate these emotions too, where it's easier to dislike the known imperfections in my lady who was my best friend for seven years and my wife for five years before she abandoned me to become her brother's platonic wife. That's the stupidity of infatuation too, in the unknowns only supposed perfections are seen while imperfections are ignored, but when you truly know someone then all their good and their bad are manifest and you have to choose to be loyal regardless of what seems "better" momentarily. I still love Jackie and I will choose to continue loving her and seeking reconciliation, but it would be easier to give up and hope someone who appears to be better might be interested in me. I probably wouldn't be better for them though, I'm not good for anyone or anything. I hate myself and I just can't stand how stupid my ret*d emotions are. I'm better when I'm around nobody else, it's probably for the best that I drive everyone away from me. God did say, "it's not good for man to be alone" but I must be less than human because I think I do better away from everyone and all the yuppies treat me like I'm subhuman anyway.

Pray that I'll not give up on my wife even though she's still giving up on me, pray that my stupid emotions just go away and that I won't annoy away someone who's probably just being friendly and somehow likes everything I do. It's probably a test anyway, either from humans or God, and maybe if I prevail in fighting my stupid emotions He'll bring Jackie back. IDK, I just want my wife back, but it will take a miracle because she's probably comfy where she's at in her brother's luxurious embrace and it's just "too selfish" to want my wife to come back to live with me in our lousy poor RV home. I hate how I start to hate my lady Jacklyn whom I love whenever stupid infatuation occurs. I know passing emotions are just passing, but this is really depressing. In the eyes of the world, I may have every right to give up and find someone else, but in the eyes of God, according to His Word, I know it would be wrong.

She divorced you. You're not committing adultery according to that particular Biblical verse.

If you would have divorced her...different story.

Not all denominations of Christianity take that passage as absolute since it was written when women were still considered a form of property. Women are no longer considered property; we have our own free will and so the decision to divorce no longer lies just with the men of the community as it once did. That changes things considerably as it can be argued that at that point is no longer a matter of you choosing to not avoid sin when divorce occurs. That is also why it's okay to remarry after a spouse dies, by the way.

You might consider though before entering into a new relationship whether you are ready to do so. Were there choices or willful behaviors that you did that assisted in driving the two of you apart, and would they do so again? Do you feel able and ready to emotionally support someone else and yet stand on your own if need be? It may be that you cannot grow until you let go and move on & I have to believe it is meant for you to grow.

Parakeet-

As hard as it might be, sometimes you have to let go of a person who leaves, and just get on with your life. My wife had been married prior to meeting me, and she was cheated on by her ex. As she was the party who had been offended against, she did nothing wrong in marrying me. If there is a chance that this young lady could offer you happiness, I say go for it. It's better than being miserable, waiting for something that might not ever happen. I will pray for you - - that you find happiness again.

For your own well-being and sanity, you need to move on, you're torturing yourself in vain. Allow people back into your life, you can talk to this new woman and even make friends, isolation and obsession are really bad for you.

I wish you the best, I hope you find some peace.

Well, by the next verse it would seem that women could divorce men then: "And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery" As well as 1st Corinthians 7:10-11 indicating the same and making a stricter rule for men.

She had gotten fired and sued for biting a child on his butt, I spent the last two years of our marriage paying for that while she ate at McDonald's and wouldn't work (apart from sewing teddy bears together, which she sold one of for $30 once.) I have had a tendency to develop crushes which annoys me, but I've been completely honest with her and I've never sought a romantic relationship with anyone other than Jacklyn whom I married. I don't know if I'm ready for anything, I really don't want any other relationship other than with Jackie again, but I'm so tired of trying while she does nothing except passive aggressively hurts me with silence. Developing another stupid crush has led me to feel angry at Jackie again, and emotionally I'm becoming a wreck again, although for the first time since she abandoned me I don't feel suicidal and I actually am willing to do menial work for near to minimum wage again just so I can be more like a man and less like a bum. I am working as the janitor for the campgrounds which Jackie and I lived the last three years of our marriage, but it pays nothing except rent so I can't even buy new clothes still even though I've literally been cleaning other people's crap off the floors and walls.

Before Jackie left, in the month before, I tried to make her jealous by saying that I had had a crush on a facebook friend who wouldn't stop replying to everything I said. I didn't really, but I wanted her to finally do housework again for the first time in two years since she bit that child and cost me over $3,000 while she did nearly nothing. I shouldn't have tried to manipulate her into behaving like an adult, but I thought it would provide stimulus for her to fight for our marriage and actually help me with the housework at least. In the week before she left, she actually did start doing housework again and even cooked a third of the meals we ate, and I thought things were finally getting better, but I was stupid. Also, I had complained about her here which she was reading, but with her acting nice to me and actually helping me with the housework for the first time in several hundred days, I thought it was working to make things better again. Unfortunately, she had apparently contacted her brother and told him she'd commit suicide if he didn't help her abandon me, and that was right before the week of her actually helping me with the housework started. Coincidence or causative was also the fact that right before when she called her brother to arrange "babysitting" I had found the court papers regarding her probation and told her they actually had already ended on March 1st (instead of May 1st, like she had previously thought.) I've never had sex outside of marriage, I've never had a romantic relationship with anyone apart from Jackie my wife, I've never hit her or abused her in any way, I've put up with all her temper tantrums from whenever we couldn't afford to buy stuff she wanted and have always been patient with her. I was wrong to try to get her to behave like an adult in complaining about her behind her back where I knew she was reading (in addition to her Shin Chan marathon and her looking up other stuff that her brother wouldn't approve of publicly which she also did in the week before she left, as per the history logs on the internet browser), I was wrong to pretend to have a crush on anyone else in order to get back at her for her biting that three year old boy and then having me pay for it while she wouldn't even pick up her dirty crunchy underwear off the floor, but I was still faithful to her regardless and I've never been with anyone else. She couldn't keep her lifelong vows, which are for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer. In addition to her biting the child, she was also accused of teaching that child and his baby sister to play with each other sexually in their bathtub, but there wasn't enough proof of that for court and I don't believe she would have actually done that. If she did though, it's the sort of things that haunts one's nightmares and make them wish that people like Dexter existed to deal with people who hurt children. I don't think she did, but she's lied about so much else that I couldn't trust her word.

I'm still willing to seek reconciliation with her, but I am so sick of her lying and treating me with silence after all I've put up with and everything I've done. I paid for her crimes! All while she rested and did nothing! I even paid for thousands of dollars worth of her My Little Pony merchandise and convention trips while she still did nothing. I've put up with actual slander while she's pretended my freedom of speech where nobody of consequence would read is such. I've done everything for her, and she's done nothing. She used to be a far better person before she got fired and sued, but it almost seems like she got possessed or something back in June of 2013AD because the woman I married would never hurt children, and she at least bit the one three year old boy on his butt and cost me thousands while I did all the work and she did nearly nothing except spend ever more money while whining that we weren't saving money for me to buy her a Victorian house (which was her prerequisite for me to do before she'd consider trying to raise a family, even before she lost her job the first time and we moved into a crappy RV. We lived in an apartment for the first two years and the day she lost her job at Kid's Dominion I was hired at Walgreens as a third shift cashier, but it was nowhere near the income for living in the apartment. But still we could have started trying for a baby as of 2010 when we got married, for which I spent most of my inheritance upon, but no we had to have a huge Victorian dream house first....)

Thanks.

Well, I think it's probably safer to avoid any relationship just in case the more conservative interpretation of Scripture is the one by which I'll be judged, but even if I hope that the other interpretation is correct I doubt she or anyone else would ever actually be interested in me. I just have stupid emotions, and it's safer to bet that they're one sided only. If I gave up on Jackie and tried to seek a relationship I'd probably at least just drive away an acquaintance who bothered to act friendly toward me, and if I did ever find someone I would still be breaking my lifelong vows to Jackie even if she's broken her to me and God doesn't count it against me. I would like to not be alone anymore, but I don't want to deal with risks and I don't want to do wrong. I'd like it if Jackie were exorcised and came back home, or if I had access to a time machine and prevented her from getting fired and sued then she might still behave like herself.

Maybe, but we both made lifelong vows to each other, not just her to me but me to her. Even if God wouldn't count seeking a second wife as adultery, it still would at least seem if not be wrong.

But supposing that hooking up with someone new is a sin, even after you've been the one who's the victim, I seriously doubt God is going to cast you into eternal torment for it.

You need to move on, and get professional help, to boot! She's playing you like a violin. Talk to a marriage counselor or someone in the clergy.

Now you know one of the reasons I never married, let alone dated a girl. Having suffered PTSD didn't help matters either.

[Reference - John 21:25] This is a verse which indicates that many things taught by God or Jesus were not necessarily written or recorded into the bible so you should be able to find answers from God elsewhere.

[Reference - Mark 8:18] This is a verse in reference to the spiritual-blindness of humanity. Here, I am just going to say that, from various documents that I have encountered into my research of potential religion-creating phenomenon, a number of so-called "spirits" frequently seem to think that they are God or some sort of Conduit for the Voice of God, even when they are not God. You are apparently aware of the phenomenon of Spirit-Possession, but you only seemed to see it in J, failing to see the temporary or momentary Spirit-Possession within yourself when deceiving her.

From what you have posted, I have to assume that you do not buy into the idea that sins are easily forgiven, despite the fact that nearly all of the preachers and pastors in the world seem to talk all day about Jesus and God's forgiveness. You seem to be trying in earnest to live life honestly but, such is not an easy road, for, this entire realm is full of traps and is rigged to trick everyone into sinning in some way or another. I will relay a new prayer for you to calm your emotions:

People of any race or creed may use either of the above prayers or say:

Creator of the Heavens - Mother of love*
I see your Star shining above
please cleanse my mind with all your love
so that I may heed your call of peace from above

Note: 'Mother of love'* - you may choose to say: 'Father of love' or 'Mother and Father of love.'

Once the Star prayer has been said by you then you may say this to our Creator:

I am NOW filled with thy divine Love.
That IS your mighty cleansing Power.
That IS your Love and Light.
That IS eternally present.

That IS your Wisdom of your Word of "Peace NOT the Sword."
I am now glorified by thee - so must it BE.

Practice this to help calm your emotions so that your eyes can see and ears can hear direct from God. The more you let your emotions control you, the more they will cause you to sin, such as committing acts of deception. You must refrain from further sinning, and by the way, re-read the story of Jo(a)b to help you endure hardships.

I hope not. I doubt anyone would ever be seriously interested in me. Perhaps Jackie even just liked the potential I had for buying her the things she wanted and when I made it appear to disappear so did she. I don't know that I would trust anyone who pretends to like me anyway, but I am sick and tired of being lonely.

Thanks for trying to be helpful, but I think you've mixed a bit too much of new age stuff into Christianity. I am sorry I tried to trick her and motivate her by jealousy to behave like a woman again, I wish I didn't, but I have ever been faithful to her. I'm still giving her until the end of June 16th this year, when my dad would have turned 62 years old, before closing the door on reconciliation to her. On the third anniversary of the day she bit a child on the butt, if she hasn't said anything before then, the doors will be closed. If she has bothered to say anything they will remain open but I hope she'll walk through them shortly because I am tired of waiting.

Yeah, I started feeling that way toward the end. It's why I was grumpy towards her in the last month, I started to see what she was doing, just not completely. I was going to just forgive her and keep moving on eventually, but she just abandoned me without notice and without a chance instead. She still has a few more days before the doors to reconciliation close upon her if she would bother to just say anything, but I know she won't because she is too lazy. I've always done all the work in the relationship, not just the housework and even much of her college homework, but I met all of her and her brother's stupid requirements of me, even getting circumcised even though Biblically I shouldn't have had to. I spent my inheritance on our wedding and her $1,300 wedding ring and $300 on her "Two hearts as one" courtship ring, which she took with her and probably sold and bought ever more My Little Pony merchandise with as soon as she thought it would look okay in the eyes of her brother. Matthew is the man she really has wanted to be married to, even though he's her brother, and I have been increasingly sick of her infatuation with him throughout the time I've known her. I hope they eventually break up. They're platonic, I'm sure, but she really needs to end that relationship eventually, though I be glad if she'd just freaking keep her lifelong vows to me. I'm tired of everything though, so if she doesn't bother to say anything before the day she bit the child I'm giving up on her and seeking someone else. Jackie was my reason I wanted to be alive, but I am so tired of her not caring about me. Did she even ever love me or was it just what I could potentially do for her? I doubt she ever loved me. It was always just about her. It's almost over unless she bothers to try. If she ever really loved me, she would try.

I know exactly what you're feeling, because I've been there, myself. Before meeting my wife, I had been so desperately lonely, feeling that I would be alone for the rest of my life, that when a (former) friend had broken up with his girlfriend, I took the opportunity to make her mine. Well, she had had a reputation of being manipulative, deceitful, and promiscuous, which I discovered was absolutely true. In fact, she had been with several of my friends prior to me. When she left me for a former boyfriend who had beaten her, she continued to string me along with promises that she'd come back to me - and I let her do it, because I was so desperately lonely and in need of being loved. That, and she used her son, who I absolutely loved like my own, to wrangle my heart. The only times she called or saw me was when she needed money for something, or a ride. I have since learned she fits the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder perfectly. I went through all this only because I thought if I loved her enough she'd love me back, and because I believed she was my only shot at love. I am happy to report that I was wrong, as I just celebrated my fifteenth anniversary with the real love of my life, who is the mother of my biological daughter. Don't give up hope, my friend.