Difficult Decision

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I made a difficult decision today: to ask my parents if my kids and I can stay with them while my husband is away. It's temporary. But, it comes from me tanking out for the day at 10 AM this morning and needing someone to go on a Gatorade run for me to survive the trip
to the car and back home...

They are on a cruise and I won't ask them until they are back a week or so. I doubt they will say no. They recently moved and wouldn't move into the house unless they were certain I could get into and out of it and that it had some for me and my kids if we needed it.

But, on the other hand, I have fought really hard for my independence. (I did live with them for quite a while not too long ago.)

But, on the other other hand (yeah, I guess I have 3), I summed it up to my husband this way:



"If I don't have enough energy to do the things that help me get better, I won't.

And that's what it all comes down to."




I wish he understood more. He isn't standing in our way. He just sort of blah about it. There are times when he's hugely supportive and understanding and this just isn't one of those times. I don't need anyone to explain to me what he might be thinking, because I already know.

I just wish this felt more comfortable. Because it's a really emotional decision.

It's probably best. They'll be a big help with the kids, too.

It is best.

The kid help is two-sided. It's help, but since my kids have it pretty good on days I crap out early and am bed-ridden for long periods of time (they can just do whatever they want).

...so, it becomes a rude awakening to suddenly have the equivalent of 3 parents...

My parents are great with trying to make it as pleasant as possible. I think it will be easier in their new house (the old one they were trying to sell, so it had to be kept pristine...while I was learning to use a wheelchair...that added a lot of extra stressors).

My AS son has he most difficulty. He doesn't get along with my dad.

For the record, "it's probably for the best" is more what I needed to hear.


I feel a little like a raging alcoholic who finally got the nerves to admit it to someone at that person said, "eh...if you think so...or maybe just drink less?".

How are you today?

How long is your husband going to be away?

It's totally legit to get extra help, especially if you have a disability, as it sounds like you do.

I've had some rough days and lots more testing. I saw a spine doctor who helped some. I get an endoscopy next week because I'm no longer digesting food. For awhile, I wasn't digesting liquids and that became an emergency for a little while...but I'm okay now.

I need more spinal fluid drained. I'm barely hanging on until Monday when I can call my neurologist. That seems like every weekend though.

I now have a copy of 7 of my MRIs. I could reconstruct myself.

I'm trying to make the best of it, though. I started a new tradition with my kids where I read them stories when they are in bed from a walkie talkie. That's become nice for all of us. It doesn't wear me out, because I can lie down. It doesn't hurt me because they aren't in bed with me. I've always loved reading to them.

And thanks for asking.

Wrong planet ate my response.

But, he's usually gone 4-6 days/week.

And I am pretty disabled right now. But, I very much want to get better. Asking for more help will help me reach those goals.

I hope they have said "yes," and are helping. And I hope you let them know how much you appreciate their efforts.

I have found, in my experience, that there isn't enough verbal appreciation expressed in these situations. When that happens, the people helping tend to think you're taking them for granted.

I hope you are feeling better today, and are thinking of the Appalachian Trail.

Thanks.

I will remember to express my gratitude frequently then.

They are still out of town. Another few days.